We read the detailed descriptions in books and see it in action on television; we may even do it in public! What is it? Kissing! Some take it for granted while others swear it is an art form to be taken seriously. Does the type of kiss you give, or get, mean certain things? How do you know how to do it right?
For centuries we’ve seen the Greta Garbo and Marilyn Monroe types putting it all out on the screen, but what about when it’s your turn? Do you ease in or grasp firmly your intended? Kissing is like dancing. You must know the steps and execute them accurately and on time. In a dance, the partner is aware of your intentions; you want to dance. With a kiss, you must also prepare your subject, a slight stroke of the cheek with the back of your hand, for instance. For dancing, you must display the mood, the tempo of the music. For the kiss, you have to move together and be in similar mindsets. Otherwise, the awkwardness and possible unwelcome will be made even worse by rejection.
So, how do you learn to get it right? When we are completely honest, we all have a pretty funny story about how we learned to kiss. Not just a peck on the cheek or child to parent kiss on the lips, but a “real kiss”. Pillows, teddy bears, a best friend of the opposite sex, truth or dare…however you broke into this arena, chances are that you didn’t get it right the first time. In the closet with the door shut, girls take turns kissing boys until the girls knocks on the door to tell others on the outside that it’s moving in another direction, to which, the door is flung open and either another girl goes in or they both come out to allow another couple the “privacy” of a secret make out session.
What kind of kisser are you? What kind of kisser do you want to be? Are you sloppy, with saliva all over your face when you pull away? Are you the soft, gentle type or the hard, “go for the gusto” kisser? If you are feeling a certain way, it will show in your kiss. For a girlfriend/boyfriend kiss: Allow her to set the pace, but if she’s not giving the “go” sign, the “test” kiss can e attempted. At the right moment (determined solely by you) take her hand and gently kiss it, looking right into her eyes. This is the “I’m preparing you for my kiss” move. If she pulls her hand away, chances are the attempt should be aborted. If she allows you to lean in closer and begin moving her hand away from your lips, she’s a “go!” A soft, sweet kiss on the lips that lingers ever so slightly is romantic.
Maybe you’re not interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and you’ve just met. Maybe you ARE interested in something more and you want to impress her. Again, allowing her to set the pace is critical; this reduces rejection and awkwardness. Depending upon what type of person you feel she is, approach “the dance” the same way. If she’s into Tangos, then putting your hand on the nape of her neck while gently pulling her in will let her know that you are serious. If you get the feeling that she’s more into the waltz, then slowly caressing her face, looking in her eyes, move in. If she moves back, DON’T GIVE UP! She wants to know how much it’s worth to you…if you are a quitter! A kiss is not just a kiss; it’s an indication of what your relationship will be like. So give it your all!