Article

Reading Mixed Signals

Sometimes it seems like men are from a different planet altogether especially when you are trying to start a relationship with them. Do not give up hope though because guys can be better understood with a bit of a relationship breakdown. It is tough when you are first starting a relationship because you have no idea what to expect. You are unsure of whether this could be a lifetime partnership or a relationship that lasts for the duration of a few months. The good news is that relationships are not easy for anyone. So there is no reason to feel like you are the only one struggling. One of the hardest hurdles to climb is the definition of whether you are in an exclusive relationship or more of a friendship.

There have been couples who have dated for three years, decided they are in essence just friends and then remained friends for a lifetime. Are you starting a relationship? First look at the guys signals. Usually if a guy is really interested in you he will let you know. He will call you and want to make plans with you. If a guy wants something or someone they usually pursue it, being the aggressor. If you feel that you always have to call him and ask him out then this might not be the blossoming of a long-lasting relationship. Remember that it is okay if he isn’t interested because as the old saying goes there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Let the guy put effort into the starting of the relationship. My friend let her husband set-up the beginning foundations of their relationship, much to her own anxieties and before she knew it they were standing hand-in-hand on a cliff, overlooking a waterfall, as he said “We really make a cute couple don’t we.” Pay attention to his interest-level signals such as if he calls you, wants to hang out and takes a genuine interest in you.

Another tough relationship starter is defining the terms of the relationship. Some guys will tell you that they want to be exclusive and then you will catch them out a week later with one of your friends. It is important that when a relationship first starts to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion of what you are both looking for in a relationship. This way you will know what to expect and what not to expect. Once the general guidelines are formed you can begin to create a relationship foundation. Also, if he says he wants to be exclusive but you find out that he is not then stick to your guns. Tell him how you feel, what you want and what you will not put up with. To get what you want out of a relationship you must not be afraid to voice exactly what you want.

There are many mixed signals that guys send out. The most important thing to remember when starting a relationship is that if he doesn’t seem interested “he’s just not that into you.” Starting a relationship is a new and exciting opportunity. Love is really the most uplifting and amazing feeling we can ever experience. Let the relationship flow naturally, open your heart and enjoy all of the possibilities.


Comments (4 comments)

I was seeing this guy for about 5mths. Everything seemed to be going well, we’d spend time together, go out places, even talked about going on holiday together. then i went away for a few days and when i came back i noticed i hadn’t heard from in a couple weeks,so i called and sent text msgs only to receive a msg saying he had met someone else, but still wanted us to be friends!
Did i miss something?…..what the hell happened?

anonymous / December 10th, 2008, 11:27 pm / #

I have been dating a girl for almost two months now, and sometimes its hard to follow what exactly she wants….i care for her and want to be everything she wants. I would love to hear your opinion on mixed signals from women too.

Anonymous / December 14th, 2008, 7:31 pm / #

In reply to the first comment. You don’t need him anyway cause he obviously got problems. He’s not a real man because a real man would have been str8 forward with you. It doesn’t take as few as a couple days to get over someone. He is either gay, or has sexual problems. I don’t know how often you guys had sex since you said you were only gone for a few days but that might of had something to do with that. Maybe he was giving you the signals and you just didn’t see them. Maybe he never really liked you like that if he could be so blunt. Maybe its just a personal issue that he has, I mean how could he put the next person before you. She had better been a someone he’s been chasing for a while who finally came around.

Gg / August 28th, 2009, 11:51 am / #

I need some clarity…and if it isn’t going to come from the man, it needs to come from someone else. I met the most amazing man in July of 09. We hit it off from our first date, and was inseperable. He suffers from bipolar disorder and gets severely depressed. Despite how happy he was, and I made him, all through-out our relationship, he went into a depression. About 3 1/2 months into our relationship (which never had any issues), he unexpectedly came to me and said that he cant do it anymore. I put forth 110%, and he just cant do it. I never really had a reason that was given to me. I fell in love, and was completely crushed. I was told though that I was emotional when I was in the hospital and it was a turnoff. He told me that he needed me in his life, and wanted us to remain friends. Well, we are, and it sucks. He keeps giving me mixed signals, but doesn’t think it’s mixed signals. He makes little comments to me all of the time, sexual comments. I planned his birthday party to its entirety, cleaned his apartment, even shopped for the party and decorated. He holds my hand sometimes, tickles me, pokes me. Throughout our whole relationship, he only paid for something three times. I didnt have a job at the time, and still paid for things that the man should have paid for. I guess what I am still trying to figure out, cause we talk everyday, and he says I am his best friend…is, does this man still have feelings for me even though he says he doesn’t? Or is he simply using me to make himself feel good? Cause dealing with someone with bipolar is not the easiest thing in the world…but I did it cause I loved him. Please help me shed some light and perhaps move forward!

Amber Faysal / April 13th, 2010, 11:51 am / #

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