Article

Relationships and Age Difference

A lot of people may say that age is a state of mind, that a person is only as old as they feel. That is an upbeat and optimistic approach to aging; however the question is if that applies when it comes to relationships. It has quite often been acceptable for a male to be the older person in a relationship. Some issues can arise if the opposite happens; a younger man and an older woman. In addition, there can be some issues as well, if the male is many years older than the female. It is possible to have a secure and loving relationship in which there is an age difference, if both people involved understand certain issues that may arise and they can work together to resolve them.

The most important factor to understand is that although our bodies will show our age to a certain degree, age is most significant when it relates to maturity. Whether you find yourself to be the younger or the older person in a relationship, take into account whether your maturity levels match. You may find in life that a fifty year old and a thirty year old can be very similar in regard to their maturity level. This all depends on their life experiences, personal outlooks and goals.

One dynamic that can make or break a relationship is the common ground that you share with the other person. Most people will undoubtedly get along with someone who has similar interests and hobbies. A night owl versus a morning bird will certainly not be in sync with each other. The same theory holds true for interests. While it is healthy to have some of your own personal interests, it is very helpful to the relationship that you share time together doing things that you both enjoy. Think about whether the age difference will affect activities done together; whether they be hiking, skiing or watching movies, these times spent together will keep the relationship strong.

Another aspect to consider is if the age difference will interfere with your own personal goals. Whether you want to concentrate on your career, have children or spend your free time traveling; ask yourself if your partner??пїЅs age difference agrees with your way of life. Discuss the future, not just the present situation. Some topics to consider are finances, children, retirement goals and career choices. You may find it very useful to choose a time to sit down and seriously talk about how the age difference may affect your lives one year, five years and possibly twenty years down the road.

Most importantly, if you and your partner feel you are right for each other, age will not matter. We all begin our quest for love as young adults and we live with the intention of holding strong into our senior years. If two people are lucky enough people find each other, it usually will not matter at which point in life they do so. When it comes to love, age is just a number.


Comments (240 comments)

I agree with this article, in the fact that maturity levels depend on life experiences and personal goals. I am 19 years old, and I recently got into a relationship with a woman of 25 years. Everything was fine, but the one thing that bothered me the most was that she was too worried about what people had to say. I let her know my goals in life, she let me know what she wanted to do with herself as well, and it seemed like she wanted to get herself back on the right track. She is a single mother, and I accept the fact that she has a child, and I told her that it didn’t bother me, to me it will be another experience that I can learn from before I am ready to have my own. Everything was going great, until the whole age difference was mentioned. She asked me if that bothered me, and I told her that honestly, I never even thought of it. When we were together, she devoted all her attention to me, and vice versa, but then she would ask me what people would think about it. I told her that I really didn’t care what people think, but all she thinks about is what society and her family have to say about it. My mother accepted her and her son, she knew that I wasn’t making a mistake, because she is a single mother as well. Recently, she told me that the age difference really mattered to her, so I deceided to have a talk with her about it. After a month, why should feelings suddenly change, just because someone else comments about the age difference? She wasn’t thinking about that when we would spend quality time together. It’s not everyday that you can find someone that is willing to accept you, support you, and even be willing to work things out with you, so I’m hoping that she can realize that before it’s too late. Like the famous quote states, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.”

Freddy Jimenez / July 19th, 2007, 10:25 am / #

it is true about age difference and life experience. i am 24 with someone 27 years my senior. and when certain instances arise in which we disagree, because of the age difference, several times he feels he is right and has the wiserness over me. and me being so much younger often i hesitate because of those reason even when i may be right. but when we have good times together we dont think of the difference. but when it comes to certain people it need be better off we keep it on the hush hush. why you ask if you love each other should it matter because other peoples happiness depends on it

sarah schiilling / October 29th, 2007, 9:40 am / #

I love the quote at the end of this article “When it comes to love, age is just a number.”

Hamish / October 30th, 2007, 6:49 pm / #

Age is just a number. I am 24 and am dating a soon to be 50 year old man. Let me tell you what I have never been treated so good in my life. It is amazing. I know that there is a huge gap in our age and that his children are closer in age to me than I am to him. Also my parents are closer to his age than he is to mine. So I was really worried about everyone meeting and I was going to hide things for a long time too. Then I realized if I am happy and in love I am not going to hide anything. So my parents and his daughters now know. We have met eachothers families and it is awesome we all got along and it went much better than you could expect. Life is good. So whatever anyone wants to say I really don’t care. Unless you are living my dream, you have no room to speak!

Krissy / November 14th, 2007, 4:42 am / #

I am 18 and am dating a man of 29, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me! I think that he is way more mature than most guys I have met, and he treats me with respect. I dont even look at our age differences because love is all that matters, age has nothing to do with love.

rach / November 23rd, 2007, 2:57 pm / #

I agree that age is just a number. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 24. We were friends before we entered into a reltaionship and now that we havemade that step, it is better than expected. Everyone has their opinions but people can not possibly understand age differences unless they have seen one that was successful or were in one themselves. I believe that a true connection is a true connection where as age is JUST a number.

Ash / January 8th, 2008, 8:02 am / #

hi everyone! i LOVE the article and i have to say that i have a HUGE crush on a guy that is 24. I am 14, almost 15. he is great! the best person in the world and i love him. i am just afraid of what society would say about me and him going out. should i care? what should i do?

JULIA / January 10th, 2008, 7:00 pm / #

I completely agree. I am 24 years younger than the man I love in love with…. and could not be happier. In my opinion age doesn’t matter. With him and I, it was as if we were only 2 years apart. We’re close spiritually and mentally…. and share the same interests. We were terrified about letting people know, but then we did… gradually. He’s an author and I’m an artist, so our interests branch off of one another. ^^ Never have I been so happy… never have I felt so apart of something and I know this man is apart of me… He never stops amazing me, the things he says and does…. so people may look at us weird or different, but who cares? Look at the world that is so prone to divorce…. maybe if people fell in love for the reason that they are in LOVE instead of just because it seems right, we wouldn’t have such a high rate of devorce….

I say follow your heart, and when it comes to love, age is just a number.

Paige / January 19th, 2008, 5:14 am / #

Hi. I have just finished reading the article “Relationships & age difference”. It is found, in my opinion, to be quite accurate in the message it is trying to portray, however, it is right to say that age, at different stages in a person’s life, does present difference of oppinion & maturity. I am a 20 year old woman & am seeing a man who recently turned 30, & find him to be more mature & somewhat ‘like-minded’ than most of my previous boyfriends, (who were all around my age). we have been together for 3 years, since i was 17. It never occurred to me that there was an ‘age difference’, i merely saw him as a guy i loved, despite the numbers. In the beginning, age did come into play, however, as i was still a teenager & wanted to ‘experiment’ & wasn’t too keen on settling down with ‘the one’.. & even he wanted to just ‘have fun’ with our little ‘experiment’, that is, untill he got to know me better & saw that i wasn’t just a teenage girl fooling around. He said he began to realise there was more to me than meets the eye, and it was definately something he was wanting to discover on a deeper level. That’s when things got serious.
We started ‘officially dating’ & took things as they come. Alot of people & close friends were a little weary of the age difference, but that didn’t seem to bother me, as you can’t stop fate, and can’t change who it is you fall for.
With that said, there are certain things that get in the way when it comes to age. for example.. a positive for me, in my situation, is that the older man said the reason age wasn’t a problem in our situation, was because he saw me to be more mature than most other people my age. Although, however like-minded we were, there is a certain life experience, that was somewhat ‘missing’. this created most of the problems we seemed to encounter. Last year he told me he was at a stage in his life where he saw it neccessary to ‘settle down’ and start on all that was conventional and typical of those men (& women) his age.. To start a family; buy a house..
And although, i am 10 years his junior, I felt that i loved him & felt the same way, even, if, a little sceptical.. But that all changed when he decided to go oversea’s for a year.
He owned a business for 7 years, with it came alot if stress. So when he sold it, he decided it was time for a break. So he wanted to travel through Europe for a year, free of restraints, obligations & stress.
He has been gone for 4 months now and one time when we spoke on the phone he told me that all he wanted before, was still present in his mind, it just wasn;t his main priority. In saying that, it shows that people change. quite easily & inevitably. So it can be fair to say that although you may be ‘at the same stage of life’ and wanting the ‘same’ things at one point in time, but things do change. and so do people. Often age can restrict the power of being at the same stage in life at the same time as the one you love and care about.
All i can say now is.. Age is a number. Love is the game we play when we’re all out of numbers. We just have to take our chances…

keekee / February 3rd, 2008, 6:08 pm / #

i dunt think that a 5 year age difference matters but i really do agree that when it comes to love, age aint nuthin but a number. =]

troublesz / February 8th, 2008, 2:39 am / #

I am 23 years old, and I have fallen head over heels for a guy who is 39 – so that’s a 16 year age difference. I don’t think it matters at all that he is, as so many of my friends have put it, “old enough to be my father”. In fact, I fell for him before I had any idea how old he was. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all when I found out, since he looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is. However, finding out his age didn’t change my feelings for him at all. He is perfect for me, he makes me happier than I’ve been in a long time, and I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him. So, I don’t think age really matters – unless one of the people involved is under the age of consent. What matters is that you love each other, and you’re happy. You shouldn’t let what everyone else might think bother you too much.

Shailyn / February 13th, 2008, 5:35 am / #

I agree too. I met a woman 20 years my junior and I can honestly say that we are spiritually compatible and share dozens of interests together. But what is really amazing is simply that we are so nicely matched. We both had to talk openly about our age difference in the beginning, but we did so with smiles on our faces…we respect, adore, and love one another and really do not care what anyone thinks…what mattered is our life experiences, and in that we found peace and happiness…

Eric / February 19th, 2008, 10:33 am / #

I am 37 and the man I see is 52. I think I have found love! An older man can please a woman’s soul! Also, they tend to be more appreciative towards the relationship. They are mature and most know how to treat a lady RIGHT! I have never been so happy in my life and I feel special when I am with him! Kandi in Ohio.

kandi / April 4th, 2008, 7:21 pm / #

i am 30 and i met the man of my dreams and he is 49. We are great together and i have never had anyone to complete me like him. At first i was a little concerned. But i would rather have him than anyone. The level of passion and warmth is amazing. I thank the heavens every day for bringing him into my life. so for anyone else out there, like me, age is just a number like they say. I love my baby.

Penny / April 13th, 2008, 8:38 am / #

well i am 18 and my bf soon to be my husband is 32, he is the best thing which has ever happened to me….. he understands me more than even i do of my self. and yes we love each other very much, and we ain’t gone let something silly as age to come between us. and yes i do agry with you age is nothing but no. (of long you have lived in this planet earth), it can’t stop to people love.

Angel / September 6th, 2008, 11:26 pm / #

I am a 42 year old man who met what he thought was the girl of his dreams, she is 25. She has a problem with the age difference but she also tells me that most guys her age are only interested in sex or seeing how many women they can be with. I have tried convincing her that age is just a number and that her maturity level and intellect is much higher than most girls her age, she has been living on her own since she was 18.
The thing is, look at the big picture. When I am going to be in my 60′s and ready to settle down a bit, she will still be young and ready to experience more of life, not to mention the fact that there is a much greater likelyhood that she is going to outlive me.
I can see both sides, but if true honest love is felt between the two, anything goes. We only come around on this planet once!

Randy King / September 26th, 2008, 12:31 pm / #

I enjoy about dis age difference.in my suggestion age differencedoes not matter but what matter is love.i am 32 year old man in luv with 25 yrs old girl and we living happily.

Nwale / October 11th, 2008, 1:52 am / #

I have been with a man 9 1/2 years younger than me, for the past 5 years. We were married 6 months ago. Our age difference was never an issue for me, and he said it wasn’t for him either. We always discussed our feelings about marriage, children, adventure, travel, etc., and were predominantly on the same page, except when it came to children. I am 36 years old, and he is now 27. We always knew we would have “the clock” against us a little bit. We both wanted children, but the reality was that we may need to have them sooner than he was ready for. About a month and a half ago, we found out about our unplanned pregnancy. We hadn’t planned on really starting to try for at least another year or two, to give ourselves time to settle into our marriage, enjoy being newlyweds and develop our careers a bit further. This pregnancy has put quite a wrench in things, and now we seem worlds apart in our age. He was really not happy about the idea of being a father at 27, and suddenly, my age became a huge issue for him. He felt I was now “old”. He has told me i have “aged so much in the past 6 months”. I now obsess about every wrinkle. He says I won’t “party” with him anymore and won’t want to see bands play and won’t want to go drinking. Aside from the obvious pregnancy reasons for not doing any of the above, these have been issues over the years because I just want to be 36 and have dinners with friends and good conversations. And he wants very different things. These problems will not go away. I can only hope we can work through them. I think it’s a lot easier to be an older man with a younger woman, rather than the other way around.

Maggie / October 12th, 2008, 4:57 am / #

To me age is only a number, indeed. I am 19 and recently started seeing a 38 year old. I decided I liked him before I knew his age, and we have so much in common and are comfortable around each other. We were both really shocked to find out how old the other one was though, and not sure if it is a problem or not yet since it’s still so fresh. In this case I think it’s good to just go with the flow and see if it works out or not, and if it doesn’t, it’s still a wonderful experience to develop a relationship with such special circumstances. I’m of course worried about what others will think (mainly my family and certain friends), even though I couldn’t care less about age. He’s still the same person that I fell for.
Good luck to others in the same situation! Things will hopefully work out for the best =)

Thea / November 2nd, 2008, 10:31 pm / #

I’ve recently met at great guy- 15 years older than myself. At first I was a bit worried about the age difference, but he treats me so well and his confidence is so appealing. I was worried about how my family and friends would take the age difference- but most of them seem to be fine with it. I really enjoy his company and I have realized that age does not matter as long as there is an equal level of respect and maturity.

Katie / November 4th, 2008, 10:19 am / #

Well, I’m a 39 year old man, was married a few years and had 2 kids, divorced now but very happy. My girlfriend is 18. Now, we’ve known each other for about a year, over that time we’ve got closer and closer to the point a couple of months ago that we realised we were in love. We’d never slept together or anything like that, but we had been intimate in other ways. My ex wife was 7 years younger than me and I thought we had a pretty good relationship, but what I have with my girlfriend is amazing. She is very mature, attends university which I am able to support her through, she has clear goals about her life and career and she loves me absolutely to bits. She is unable to have children of her own and the love and care she gives to mine is absolutely amazing, they totally adore her too. When we “came out” about it my ex hit the roof lol but she came around, as did all of our friends and family. I look after myself and I’ve been told I look closer to 30, she also looks early 20s so no worries but we’ve never had any problems in society, certainly no odd stares or anything like that. We have so much in common, but we have our own lives too, I still like to party and if anything it’s her who would rather stay in snuggled up with slippers and dressing gown on lol! At fist I was worried about being labelled a “pervert” or something, but then I realised the only couple of people that did say that behind my back were probably jealous lol! Anyway, we’re blissfully happy and hopefully will continue to be so and I wish others in this situation good luck!!

Bob / November 8th, 2008, 8:51 pm / #

My patner is 15 years older than I am. The only time we discuss our age difference is when we are apart. When we are together there is nothing else that I want to do but look at him! The age doesn’t matter when we are together. We are still on the same level.
We began our relationship aware of the age difference but didn’t discuss it. We fell in love then became sexual. We also have distance problems but when we are together the moments are so special. We both want to be with each other desperatly but are afraid of relatives opinions.
Because of my lack of experience with relationships he is hesitant to come out about it as one of the reasons. He wants a relationship that will last and isn’t sure that I could love him forever because of the above reason.
We are madly in love and want to have children together and a home.
I never want to be with anyone else, he is that man of my dreams!

Nicole / November 13th, 2008, 1:36 pm / #

I am 25, dating a wonderful 53 year old and everything is going wonderfully. He knows he doesn’t want children, I am not completely sure. I am just afraid of waking up one morning in my mid-30s and being depressed because of the commitment I’ve made. I have no idea how I’ll feel in the future. All I know is that now is wonderful and I want it to stay this way.

cstop / November 14th, 2008, 11:33 am / #

I truely understand what everybody is going through. I have a hard life because I am soon to be married to a 21 year old man and I am only 15 years of age. He wants kids now, but I want a future and career. He dont understand, I’m still in school with two more years of it. He is continuing to tell me he’ll pay for me to get home schooled, but i just want a normal marriage. I understand that i am very mature but I still want some fun in my life instead of running after kids

mikayla / November 19th, 2008, 4:24 am / #

Im glad I came across this. I am 25 and I am interested in a 41 yr. old. He is a young soul! I have also been told for my age to be an old soul and with that I feel we meet in the middle. I keep finding myself looking at him and asking is this right because of so many other peolple questioning the age. I have known him for over a year and I just gave him the time of day, lol. I thought it would be too weird and finally I called him to see if he wanted to go to breakfast and ever since then the feelings get stronger and stronger. Our personalities are something we have in common, a good sense of humor, wanting a family (he has no children) and setteling down soon one day. Now our differences can only be good… he does things that I have always wanted to get into like sports and outdoor fun. I know movies and music. So together him and i can teach each other things and learn together. Okay jumpin pretty far now :) My point is age is nothing its whats inside. Now the whole playboy thing…thats going a little too far I think. LOL

Jaqstaq / November 22nd, 2008, 1:00 am / #

I am engaged to a 44 year old man and I am only 23. When I first met him I was extremely attracted to his confidence, and he knew exactly how to treat a women which I haven’t struck in guys my age!
I didn’t know his age until I had already fallen for him, and by then it didn’t matter.
I was really worried about telling my family because they are quite traditional, but they are coming around and I’m confident they will accept it as long as I am happy.
My only concern is with having children. He has a son my age but wants to have a child with me. I do too but am concerned about him being a father at 45+.
Anyway, bottom line is that love is what matters, a lot of people don’t find it in a life time so if you are lucky enough to then you should hold onto it with both hands!

Amy / December 5th, 2008, 9:04 am / #

I need some advice…I an 20 years old and I met a guy who just turned 31. We were attracted to each other before we found out about our age difference. I just assumed he was 25 or 26, but he told me he was actually 31. He told me he had no clue how old I was. To me, it’s only an 11 year difference and my parents have an 11 year difference. But I feel like he is against the whole idea…maybe because I get the feeling he wants to settle down and I still want a career before I get married.
Can someone please tell me what I should do? How should I talk to him about this?
I would greatly appreciate any feedback! Thank you so much!

A / December 8th, 2008, 6:13 am / #

I’m 28 and my girlfriend is 19 and we get along very well and we love each other very much.We both have the same goals and i like her that she’s not yet obsessed by her biological clock and wants to live her life.Women of my age all they want is to get married and have kids and I don’t want that yet i don’t feel mature enough for that.

cocardel / December 9th, 2008, 3:03 am / #

I’m a 44 yr old female, in love with a 30yr old male, who has a 1yr old. It’s real love. Now that it is getting very serious, I am going to lose him b/c he wants a child…….

Frenchy / December 14th, 2008, 12:26 pm / #

i dont know if anyone can anwers what i want to know has anyone ever met someone off the net and want more but him being in the army it will be 18mos before we could ever meet we have fallen for each other and its been two mos. and now he says its moving to fast and last words he said last time i talk to him was i love you i ask when would i hear from you again he hung up plz help

firefly / December 15th, 2008, 8:49 pm / #

We differ 13 years in age (he is younger), met on line and lived 2000 miles apart. When we met face to face everything fell into place like we knew it would. We now live together and have set our wedding date. We’re over the moon with eachother and feel the luckiest people on earth. Age is nothing but a number and a state of mind. Life is short, and when real love crosses your path you’re a fool not to go for it and enjoy it to the fullest.

Happy / December 17th, 2008, 8:24 am / #

How did all you people meet?

E / December 18th, 2008, 10:39 pm / #

I am 18 and interested in a 15 year old guy. We have talked about the age difference and the possibility of dating for over a year now. He is more mature than I am and we are on the same page about everything. My parents are completely against it because of the age difference. Yes, it’s going to be difficult, but how can I gain my parents’ support of our relationship without them thinking that I am irresponsible and immature?

KatharineM / December 24th, 2008, 2:38 am / #

i am 16 going on 17 and i am in love with a 22 year old
i think love is love u cnt put a age limit or anything

xotic / December 24th, 2008, 6:04 pm / #

I have been with my bf for just over a year now. I am 25 and he just turned 42 (16 years and 5 months to be precise – for some reason I need to point everyone’s attention to that). We are both teachers and have the same things in common. We both still go out a lot. In fact, he goes out more than i do. Here’s where it gets difficult. I want kids in the next couple of years and he feels he would be too old.. but “would have them if it would make me happy”. Most of my friends are fine with it (not sure of their opinions when i’m not with them though) and my family also is supportive. Today, i went to a BBQ at a friends when i was greeted by her quite tipsy mother’s best friend who seemed quite content to ‘say it like it is’. She believes that this relationship will go nowehere, it’s a time waster, it will never work and happily brought up scenarios in the future; 20 years or so, about how it will look then. Hence my internet searching for other opinions on the topic. This really hit home because; as hard as it is to say, I do supress a lot of these thoughts away and tell myself that it will work just fine.. but never take the time that is really needed to sit down and think this through. I am so in love with him and i do think its going well. I hate questioing us and myself but would also hate to make the wrong decision. So… if it’s true that love stands above all other issues, why does society feel the need to shout out about the calamity of it, and why do i keep listening to them.

Belinda / December 26th, 2008, 6:22 pm / #

It’s nice to see so many positive comments about age differences in relationships, but in my case it’s severely stretched. My girlfriend is 28 and I’m 60. She’s Mexican, I’m a gringo living in Mexico. We are not native speakers of the other’s language but we do just fine, thank you.
I’m older that her father; I’m older than her mother. Her mother is apoplectic about this relationship; her father just grins. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wouldn’t like to have a 28-year-old hottie too (on the side, of course).
What am I getting out of this?
Does ‘laid twice a day’ count for anything?
Look, I don’t know what your personal experience is, but for me, having this coffee-colored angel in my bed every night is just this close to heaven. So if you’ve got some problem with that, tough.
What is she getting out of this?
She says that the contemporary men here are boring as hell. All they want is the home-wife pregnant and cooking so they can go out, bang other women and brag about it. Believe you me, I take very good care of this beautiful. warm, sexy, honest, loyal, hard-working, happy, family oriented gift-from-God and she is in love with me.
I’m in love with her too.
The thing that is really going to blow her mother’s and seven aunt’s minds is when we get married and she decides it’s time to have my kid. We may have to move to Cuba or something, but who cares?

Bill G. / December 27th, 2008, 5:30 am / #

I recently met a 20 year old woman and I am 39. I am really attracted to her because she has a sparkle in her eyes and she is full of life. Most people think I am in my twenties. Really, I don’t know what I should do. I think I am more concerned what people may think than anything. What should I do?

Craig / December 31st, 2008, 3:39 am / #

Im 33yrs and i like a guy who is 25yr i know he likes me too. i need some advise, i dont want 2 start nothing because of the age difference

Charleen / January 1st, 2009, 12:02 pm / #

Age difference is just one of many many obstacles to overcome when building a healthy relationship – and from my personal experience, it certainly isn’t the most challenging. Age difference only seems to be a negative difference in a relationship if other obstacles are not meet and dealt with effectively. Then as always, the numbers are an easy target to shoot at. In fact, the main problem could have been a whole group of other things like very different family backgrounds, communication problems, different life goals and dreams, different personal expectations from the relationship, different values and moral expectations, or even cultural and language differences. As long as everything else is OK, then my experience in a relationship with a 16 year age difference, is that you never really think about the numbers, but about the other person. As long as it’s legal and you’re both adults, then I think it is your business and only your business. But a gap in ages, no matter how large, should never be the main concern when considering a relationship with a person that attracts you. there are much more serious things to consider about the other person than their age.

experienced / January 4th, 2009, 3:23 am / #

Love is blind.

Rocco / January 5th, 2009, 8:12 pm / #

I am 18, soon to be 19, and my boyfriend has just turned 39. Our feelings echo those of all the other comments here. Our relationship is great; we get along so perfectly and rarely, if ever do we disagree. My parents strongly disapprove but our relationship is healthy and positive, so we continue to believe that age doesn’t matter. You have to go with your heart and be true to your feelings.

A / January 9th, 2009, 2:20 pm / #

I’ve noticed one thing. Most of these big age relationships, such as mine (me 39, she 22) involve people that look younger, diminishing the apparent age difference. I look 32 and she looks 24, which is a fine 8 year difference. However, she still doesn’t know my age and hasn’t asked (probably doesn’t want to know). We are both head over heels. I met her virgin and I took care of that in a very prince-charming type way, using all my experience and a handful of my money to make her “first time” a fairytale moment, with secluded beach, luxury cabana, everything white (even the roses), and NO PAIN by doing it just right. She cannot be more in love now. Anyway, I keep telling her we only have one life to live. I don’t think this will work out in the long run, so I’m trying to make this experience extremely memorable for both of us, however long it lasts. If we pass the test of time and she’s sure she wants a future with me, then I will gladly propose to her.

Carlos / January 9th, 2009, 6:25 pm / #

I’m having a hard time trying to find agreement with what I read. My 21 yr old son is dating a 16yr old. I believe she is too young for him. He’s in college and she’s in high school. (two different worlds) I’ve been trying not to say too much negative things about his choice. I just feel he would be better off with a girl his own age.

A / January 19th, 2009, 6:04 am / #

I am 41, my girlfriend is 24. Some of these articles are very helpful to me, since I bring up the age difference between her and I. I have a question to some of those who have submitted their comments, are you still together?
I do agree that love has no age boundaries and that it is just a number, BUT?!?!?!?!?!

Joe - Ohio / January 27th, 2009, 3:41 am / #

Relationships should be win-win. Don’t care how “smart” and “mature” the younger person thinks he/she is, and is told by significant other the same in addition to “you seem so much older” (yeah right- you have no idea how fresh your skin looks to someone older than you, no idea), time will let you know the truth. To put it bluntly- people don’t say no to younger booty. Hopefully, both of you stay in love; otherwise it’s a case of the older one robbing the cradle then manipulating and complaining about the infant.

E / January 31st, 2009, 5:37 pm / #

I think age is just a number i couldnt agree more with this article i just started seeing this guy who is 21 and i just turned 17 but we are so happy with each otehr and for the most part no one has really pointed out our age diffrence

rachel / February 1st, 2009, 9:20 am / #

hi i am 40yr old dating a 27 year old peruvian woman ..she is amazing and pretty…she is alot different than american women and i hope that one day i can marry her..i dont see age as a problem but sometimes it does get to me because i think of the future and say wow…i will have to wait 13 years after retirement…. for her to retire..lol..it’s not funny and i want to be happy with her and she wants to be happy with me but i think that she will give into the fact that the age will be a problem later…before me..she says it not a issue but i dont like the …your old jokes either…well for now we are happy and in love so i guess my advise is to be very vocal to your loved one on how you feel so you are on both the same page and yes age is never the real issue..it’s what you feel is fair that is the issue for the future…chow

rob / February 13th, 2009, 1:34 pm / #

Last year I found myself separated and all alone then I met someone much younger than me. to be exact 34 years younger. She is the most mature young lady I have ever met. We have been best friends for several months and now it has turned into love. I find myself everyday thinking about her. We talk or text or see each other everyday and often times all day long. I cannot imagine ever being without her. She is from another country and is so beautiful. When we have dated I am the proudest fellow in the world. I have been the one concerned about the age difference, but she tells me that she does not look at age as being any problem because she loves me! I believe that she is my angel.

William / February 16th, 2009, 11:26 am / #

I’m 18 and my boyfriend is going to be 25 in a month. We’ve only been together for two months. We both agree that this is the closest we have ever felt to someone. He just seems so perfect for me. We work together which poses a problem. My mom also works in the same building. We’ve kept it a secret this long but I don’t think I can go much longer. Neither of us are ashamed we just don’t want to put up with the problems people would create. I also think we’re just afraid of what my parents could do to end it if they did not approve. However, it’s all starting to take a toll on me and I don’t know how much longer I can keep this secret..

K'la / February 18th, 2009, 11:38 am / #

I have to say that i agree with this article. im 22 years old and my boyfriend is 13 and we’ve been dating for two and a half years. we both love eachother madly and if you want advice on how to deal with this then just talk to me on facebook or something, search my name, im from colorado.

Brittney Downing / February 25th, 2009, 1:28 pm / #

i would also like to hear from those who have large age gaps to find out how things have turned out. married your 40yo husband when you were 18? how did it turn out?

everything is always good at first, and i am sure that there are success stories out there. and while im sure there are also the anti-success stories, did age really have anything to do with the break up? or was it just life in general?

i was involved with someone previously that was 13 years younger than i was (yes you dork, it was legal) and the age played a huge role in the end simply because she was still interested in doing the party all night thing…. a lot more than she said she was when we first got together. in the end, i just wasnt having it anymore. when i tried to talk to her about it, she became very defensive and it was obvious that we were not really on the same page about a lot of things, but that she was really just telling me what she thought i wanted to hear.

now… does that have more to do with the age difference? yes AND no. obviously, there was a maturity that was lacking on her end. im not saying that its a rule that all women are going to act this way, but thats the typical actions of women i have known at that age… so in that aspect, yes age did have a role to play in the demise of our relationship.
on the other hand, there are plenty of women out there at ANY age range that would also be defensive about problems in the relationship regardless of what that problem is. being divorced from someone that is only 2 years younger than i am, obviously there were no age issues that played a role in the demise of that relationship either… just a lot of stupidity that im sorry, i just could not handle (her stupidity, i can handle my own stupidity just fine thanks…lol).

i am currently on the verge of starting another relationship with someone much younger than myself and while the numbers dont bother me at all, what does bother me is the normal behavior of people as they get older. what i was into 20 years ago is not what im into now. and the same would go for her. what her goals and desires are now are not what they are going to be 10 years from now. its not that im worried about anyone changing as everyone does and you have to take that into account. what i do worry about is will she be in such a different place in her life at that point that we will just not be on the same page any longer?

oh. and to those of you seeking out advice on what to do because you are interested in someone much older than you are… you are going to have to be very serious and honest with yourself and look at every angle. and if nothing really bothers you after you have done that, then you need to take your chances…. there are no guarantees in life and you only get one shot at it. might as well make it a good one.

me myself and i / March 8th, 2009, 1:05 pm / #

i’m 18 going on 19 next month and i am with this great man who will be 30 in a few months. we are truly happy and thats what matters. we have many many differences but we understand each other. I mean his friends which are younger then him and older then me even say that i make him the happiest he’s ever been and he’s been in some rough relationships. i just want you to know. do what your heart tells you. if your happy you know what you want in your life.

me and him are both going to school.
he’s going back and i’m in my 2nd year.

its amazing the men you come across.

Melina O Johnson / March 9th, 2009, 4:35 pm / #

I’m 16 year old and im in love wid a 25 years old man. there are 9 years diff between us but fr me is nt a problem coz i love him alot n he also does… but the poblem is( we r married ) is m just 16 years old m still young n he wants kids frm me where r together in the same house n other thing i dnt wanna do sex. i knw its sound stupid coz we r married but he ask me for sex everyday n everynight , i use to tell him tht i need time for smthg else n school its imp for men n i wanna enjoy my life… and i use to tell him to give me a lil time coz i feel like im nt ready 4 it.
I know he’s rite. coz we ‘r married we must do anythng is right but i dunno is my feeling.. i dunno wht to do i dont wanna lose him i love him alot! we r married since 2 months we did everythng execpt sex n he keep on asking me ab it..:( i need help. wht shall i do?!?!?!

anonym / March 14th, 2009, 6:14 pm / #

i think age dosnt matter if your both of age and the age of legal i dant think its right for a 14 year old to date a 24 year old purley because the 24 year old will go to jail

kelsey / March 15th, 2009, 6:36 pm / #

I am 25 and finishing college. My wife is 47. I love her with all of my life. We get along so great mostly because I am kinda of mature and immature but so is she. We just about everything together never apart from each other unless she is at work and I am in class. Age is a number and I don’t know how to count.

James / March 26th, 2009, 10:55 pm / #

I’m 18 dating a 48 year old man. Things are going great, we met at work and ever since then we’ve gotten closer. We plan to love in together and eventually get married. All I have to say to anyone having trouble on this subject, Age will always just be a number when it comes to love. If your happy and it’s what you wants then don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s wrong or it won’t work out. Don’t let anyone stand in your way, pursue happiness up matter what others say. There will always be someone against you and there will always be someone standing by you. Just fallow your heart, It will always guide you the right way

meg / April 6th, 2009, 10:08 am / #

well i am 18 years old and dating a 38 year old man which is 21 years apart and just like people are saying “age is nothing but a number” and its true if you really love and respect someone age wont matter it’s the love that matters

Erna / April 11th, 2009, 7:31 am / #

While I agree that “age is just a number,” I’ve seen two marriages fail due to a significant age gap. What you might find endearing at 30, you might no longer at 50 (when in all probability your spouse may be 70). I’m sorry, but I often feel and have witnessed a terrible power dynamic. Plus, the significant younger partner may still be working, raising young children, and dealing with someone who is retired. How can you possibly fuse such diametrically different lifestyles? Also, I’ve often felt that a woman marrying someone old enough to be her father has unresolved security issues. I’ve also often felt that a man dating a woman similar in age to his own children, has issues. I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the attraction in the long run. A woman is setting herself up for triple duty – the primary care-giver of the children, the primary care giver for her spouse (70+), work + household chores.

Stefanina / April 14th, 2009, 6:45 am / #

Im Only 12 but i have a relationship with a 16 yr old and My friend said he could go to juvy we love eachother and i dont want anything to happen. He said that it would be ok because we werent going to have sex or anything i dont quite understand yet. He is in to basketball and is so good at it. I am just scared to play because I dont want to get hit. please email me at aiymusic@yahoo.com if you can help thanks

Aiyana / April 15th, 2009, 7:35 am / #

i’m in love with a 23 year old and i’m seventeen. age is really just a number.

karin / April 20th, 2009, 3:27 am / #

Hi….just readin this article as really need some advice I am a 25 yr old girl..soon to be 26 nd have fallen for a guy who is just 18…we get on so well and he is amazing and I cant stop myself fallin for him but dont know what I should do I feel ike its driving me crazy…if anybody has any advice it would be appreciated. I tend to find alot of peole are in situations where the guy is older as oppose to my situation where he is younger…..

Emma / April 24th, 2009, 7:34 am / #

I’m so happy I stumbled across this page. I really an impressed with what so many of you have said.

I am a 33 year old woman dating a 61 year old man. It was, (and still is) so amazing how our relationship developed and grew. It just felt RIGHT! I worried at first what people would say, but what I found is that if I’m happy, my friends and family are happy too. The only heardle is how and when to tell my parents. I don’t know how they are going to react hearing my partner is older than both of them. But hopefully they will see how wonderful he is to me, and how happy we are, and they too will see that age is just a number and you can’t help who you fall in love with.

Justme / April 28th, 2009, 11:51 am / #

I’m a 21 year old woman dating a 48 year old man. I’ve never felt as happy, I feel complete. Its like my life has been missing something all this time. Maybe the age gap will cause a problem in the future, but for now I’m happy to enjoy it and see what happens.

Dani Daviss / April 30th, 2009, 7:40 am / #

I came across this article as I recently came into knowing this great guy who is exactly 11 years my senior. He was fantastic, and as we kept speaking, common interest was cultivated. He is however, a bit concerned about asking me out. I am 17 and he is 29. But I find no man at my age that truly pleases me. I even find it hard to seek friends. Most of my friends are either really mature, or just plainly older than me. What does concern him is the legal issues of asking me out while being underaged, because people talk, and they talk big. But I have honestly found that I don’t really care much about age differences. Where I do care, is if I find well over 20 years old difference. The thought does bother me a bit. But I find no troubles in it. I do intent to have fun in life, but if I find a great guy along the way, jeez I’ll take a chance and try to have fun with him instead. It’s hard to hold on to great people now a days. Even finding them is a problem.

Anyways, I was a bit doubtful is to continue this friendship building or not because all this age difference in society is such a big problem, and so I tried researching a big before making and decisions, and came across this article. I have always been interested in older men, so heck, why worry?? Just keep on living and hang on to what is best presented. Just ignore what everyone else thinks, besides, even my mother went out with a man 20 years older than her. And her experience was successful. They ended their relationship because of work issues, but they’re great friends, and he still cares for all of us and aids us. Anyways, great article. Now I’m gonna go and keep conversing with this guy ; )

Miss_Vampi / May 8th, 2009, 3:25 am / #

it was interesting reading the articles,i clicked here because i feel insecure about my relationship……my girlfriend i met on holiday,i was in colombia for 2 months,i got introduce to her on a blind date,from the moment i say her she took my breath away..it feels great when we are together,im not just talking about sex…shes 24 years old ,my god today is my birthday im 50 but do look lot younger..of course i say this..
i have said to her i feel to old for her but she says she loves me,it does not matter..but i kind of get it in my head what other people say to me.
i met all her family ,they like me and say they approve of it,thats its good she met me….before she was in relatinship with guy 38 when she was 18 but he cheated on her………i think what a stupid guy he was……
i have a 14 year old son she knows about,she wants a baby with me..i like this to..i think my doubts are because my sons mother cheated on me before,,,,,,,,,,,,anyway thanks for reading..it was good reading others stories…..

robert / May 9th, 2009, 10:07 pm / #

I have been meeting women younger than me for over 15 years. I’m a 43-year-old man who should meet someone whose born in my age bracket until 1979. I feel old sometimes and never get anywhere with life. Do you think age matters? I should force myself to meet some woman born in 1969 to 1979. Why can’t I meet someone in their 20′s? I am a pen-pal person all my life and I’m sick of it.

Chris Ward / May 10th, 2009, 9:12 am / #

Age is absolutly just a number. I am 18 years old dating a 35 year old man. We have been dating for 2 years and we couldnt be any happier. There are some differences, but they are nothing when you find that right person. No matter the age difference.
your not dating the birthdate, your dating the person. Dont let anybody effect your relationship.

Amanda / May 13th, 2009, 1:38 am / #

I am a seventeen year old girl and, in general, I’m attracted to older men. I have a mild crush on my counselor at school (who is single), but he’s fourty or so. About five months ago when I turned seventeen, I met a guy who is about twelve years older than me. I am incredibly attracted to him and I think about him constantly. I really want to pursue a relationship with him when I turn eighteen, but I’m afraid. No one seems to believe i am serious, or they think I am weird, which hurts. I don’t know what to do. Then I learned that my substitute teacher is significantly older than his wife, and they are very much in love. But the only real support comes from my best friend, who is also attracted to older men. So this gives me hope aside from the fact that…. why would he ever be interrested in me???
I also want to know if my friend and I have things for older men because of something that is… i don’t know, psychological or something.
But, i also believe that age is just a number, and i really hope that i can work up the guts to make known how i feel about him, and to forget what my “friends” say about it being creepy.

Denise / May 13th, 2009, 5:14 am / #

I am a 45 yr old woman who just began dating a man who is 78. I worry alot about what people think. I am not after his money but I will admit he make me feel more secure than any other man I have ever been with. He grew up in a time when a man knew how to treat a woman. He makes me feel like a queen and we get along like we have known each other for years.
I dont know what the future will hold for us but for right now, we are both very happy and enjoying life to the fullest!

Diane / May 13th, 2009, 7:37 pm / #

wow, i have been looking for THIS particular article on here for like a week now. firstly i gotta say- i love ur posts. this is the most intelligent, straightforward, correct website on information for teens that i have found yet!! and i have read many, trust me. u have just totally shown to me that OCDs, (obsessive compulsive) are the anxiety disorders that lead to my shaking and wierd behaviors!! and it is NOT fun. i thought i was some wierd sick person and i was bad or something for it but now i see that those are what OCDs are!! people laugh at me cuz i freak out in storms, and cuz i wont do certain things, or touch or use certain things.. and .. i dont think its funny, personally, it changes my lifestyle, and it annoys me.. even tho its me doing it! anyway, on the age subject- i like this guy that is 45 years old, i admit, and i havent told anyone this except my closest friends that are my age and that know what im meanin when i tell them this. i thought i was nuts. i seriously thought i had a mental problem, and i even looked up mental disorders on the internet with liking older guys. i dont think hes older period, i just think hes older than i am. anyway, he probly has no idea that i do like him, and im not sure he ever should know anyhow, but i have this huge crush on him. my stepfather has told me before himself that i am more mature (MOST of the time at least.. i know im a baby sometimes..haha i have my moments) than most of my classmates or my street friends. he said before once that he even .. (this is very personal info here.) acted like a “boy in heat” near me.. if u catch my drift.. with my reaction, he began to be more distant from me (seeing as how i didnt respond) and now he treats me as a normal friend. the guy i currently and so oddly like, hes our neighbor in this new house. i have all that stuff teen girls get over guys and i dont know really if id ever say anything to him bout anything beyond friendly stuff tho, cuz i really think im just bein a sicko or somethin .. but he actually does happen to have some same interests as i do, and , well, yea.. i have no idea how to hide it from my stepdad (who would get super mad at me in jealousy) or my mom (who would likely send me off to my sister and call police on this man for nothin hes done wrong..!). so i think im just gonna shut up about it (even tho i smile a lot and do other crush-like obviousness things..) haha. if he was ok with the fact, which is uncontrollable by me of course, then id be okay with letting him actually know that. im not sure, like i said before, if i would ever be able to handle relationships or anything beyond friends, so im just quiet now. ill talk talk talk talk tho. yea.. im .. almost 15 tho- 30 year difference.

Smiles! / May 18th, 2009, 6:39 am / #

I will start by saying I’m 35 and she’s 19. Ours is a complex relationship and I can’t even anonymously share the details, but I have a word of advice for all the “it’s just a number” people. Yes, love is great and blind and you don’t date a birthday. But there are other people in your worlds and a sign of maturity is respecting their feelings. What she and I are doing is actually hurting other people and it’s affecting our relationship. If you’re happy, great. But make sure you’re not causing strife within your family. “They just don’t get it” is not a fair assessment. If your relationship is causing others stress, it’s like punching them in the face and then saying they don’t understand. I’m hopeful for us, but it’s going to be a struggle. Make sure you’re open and honest with yourself, your partner AND those around you and ask them to be the same.

mike / May 18th, 2009, 9:54 pm / #

im 37 seeing an amaze n women age 24 we have age gap of 12 years we dont seem have a problem with it neither does our friends but our families do.which is just ignorance on their part ,i think its the oh what wil the neighbours think or the parish preist , i know you say it doesnt matter but it does make a differrence it causes doubt in the realationship also be thinking if i wasnt about would she have gone traveling and see life more if i didnt meet her it hard but it hard to neglect that i love her to bits and she feels same towards me .

mail sligo / May 20th, 2009, 7:48 am / #

Love it. I am 36 and absolutely in love with my 20 yr. old bf. I am and always will be young at heart. We have a lot of the same interests and just have a blast together. The only thing that worries me is that he wants kids and I am not capable of giving him a child, but I am just enjoying this wonderful relationship while I have it. I like to live in the now. We have discussed the whole age gap issue and have decided to take our life together one day at a time and just be happy .

andy / May 21st, 2009, 1:48 am / #

This article and the comments after it have been so comforting to me. I am 19 years old, and I participate in the Renaissance Festival. There was a man there, a “playtron” (doesn’t work there, but comes each weekend is garb) who was incredibly attractive. Everytime I saw him, I wanted to bad to go talk to him, but shyness and my engagement kept me away. Well, after Faire, I found myself single, and the man and I began communicating. Instantly, there was a connection between us that I have never felt for anyone else. I knew he was older than me, significantly, and it turns out he’s about 36. 17 years are between us, but it seems so much less than that. I was so scared of my feelings, thinking that it was wrong or something, and I just wanted a way to justify it, some comfort that I’m not alone in this. It’s good to know that there are many others who feel as I do. Thank you all for the hope you’ve given me. “When it comes to love, age is nothing more than a number” Words we all should live by. I’m falling for him, and I’m not scared anymore, because I know he feels the same. Thank you.=]
-Rebecca

Rebecca / May 21st, 2009, 3:23 pm / #

I’m in love with a man who is 27 years older than myself.His personality mainly attracted my mind throughly,I’m addicted to him .I know I won’t be able to marry him in this life hopefully !!!!may be in a nother life

heart queen / May 22nd, 2009, 1:06 am / #

I have been married ten years to a man who is 15 years my senior. I am 44. You do the math. When he was in this late forties, early 50′s it was great. But as he has aged he become less active and is very set in his ways. It seems I have grown in the opposite direction. So, you have to consider the long term. Most men in their 60′s start to slow down and that’s when you really begin to ‘live’ the age difference.

Angela / May 25th, 2009, 9:47 pm / #

I really agree with this article and also with the comments posted on here. What made me look for something like this is that I’m a 18 year old who is currently going out with a 37 year old. I just told my parents about the relationship last night and they flipped, so I was curious if it was normal, or just something not widely talked about. I really do love him and he loves me, I just wish there was a way to get my parents to understand that age doesn’t matter. I thought that they would because they themselves are 5-6 years apart, but they don’t. To me, age is nothing but a number and in love it means absolutely nothing. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with this man.

Fangs / May 29th, 2009, 7:26 am / #

i’m 18 currently and all along i prefer mature guys…
My partner is 30 this year and he really dotes on me.
It seems like we’re only few years apart.
I feel really nice being with him.
Age to me isnt a serious matter but to others it is.
I really hate it when people just cannot mind their own business.

Acelyn / June 2nd, 2009, 12:39 am / #

this article and all the comments are so good! I’m a 28 years old and just recently i started dating a guy who’s 39 at first i didn’t want to acknoledge that i’m attracted to him and interested only because of the age difference. i had this thought stuck in my head that i want someone young (around my age) and we can feel young together, and for a couple of months i was stuck with this barrier. eventually something happened and i just couldn’t resist!
we just started dating but already i feel that it’s very natural to be with him and to be attracted to him. and of course he treats me really nice… it feels like im with a man now. no more mixed up and emotionaly crippled boys.

shaylok / June 4th, 2009, 4:48 pm / #

I am 17, and my boyfriend is 41. He was actually my old History teacher, and I used to have a crush on him, but now it’s love. He proposed to me the other day, so when I turn 18, I’ll have to tell everyone I know. Right now, I’m not that worried if everyone thinks it’s weird or not. I love him, he loves me back, and even though I have considered the age difference, I’m living in the moment, and enjoying what I have.

Zandria / June 6th, 2009, 3:03 am / #

Such relief to hear other stories! My boyfriend and I are 10 years apart. Unfortunately, this was an issue for him because when he met me, I was with a friend celebrating her 30th birthday, and she is 3 years older than me. I knew he was older than he said, but he didn’t tell me til a couple months in. He also has a 14 year old son. The only problem comes because he thinks I’m still at that younger stage in my life, so he worries about what I really think of him, what my friends and family will say, but I am starting my own business! That takes ALL OF MY TIME, and leaves little room for much else. BUT through it all, he has become my best friend. Communication is the most important part of any relationship. I know that he will take care of me, because he has in so many ways already. Even though there is also a distance between us, he makes sure to let me know whatever is happening in his life and vice versa. We’ve talked about our future (we’ve even gone ring shopping!) which we have similar ideas about. We both want kids, but I want to establish my business first, so he is willing to wait. He is the most understanding, caring, patient, trusting and trustworthy man I have ever met and I wouldn’t trade this for anything :)

alicia / June 6th, 2009, 6:31 am / #

What a great article and page for advice. I am a 35 year old woman and have dated lots of guys of my age in my past. Although I am 35 I am constantly told that I look like im in my late 20′s, which is great and that I come accross as much younger in my personality and dress sense etc. I am a very positive and outgoing person, love sport even extreme sport. I have just started dating a 27 year old guy, who looks older. I have know him and liked him for 6 months but until now the timing has been wrong for me. He is so much more mature than most of the guys ive dated of my age. I have also dated guys of 26 and 29, who were totally immature, just wanted to spend time with their mates, drinking with their till they could not stand any longer (with me by their side looking like a bimbo!!), no consideration for me what so ever. This guy is so different. He doesnt drink for a start therefore doesnt want to spend hours in the pub, he does however still go to clubs on a Friday night with his mates but remains totally sober. I met up with him this Friday in the club (I was drunk) and it was so lovely to see ‘my bloke’ looking totally gorgeous and knowing that he was sober and able to take care of me!! He spends most of his time with guys in their 30′s and 40′s, some in their 50′s and admits that he learns from these people and likes the lives that they have rather than the lives of guys of his own age. To sum up, it doesnt matter about a persons age, only the person and where they are at in life. I, for a 35 year old could be classed as immature, even though I am a successful business woman, he is very mature for his years but far from boring. We seem to have the balance just right. Wish me luck!!!!

Miss Cally / June 7th, 2009, 8:59 pm / #

My boyfriend is 29 this yr. & I just turned 54. We love each other so much. We get along great. His parents love me & my parents him. We only have one of my sisters & his sis that have a problem with this. So much as my sis & I havn’t talked in 4 yrs. I just wish people would stay out of other peoples personal lives. If you are happy who cares the age diff. My boyfriend never wants kids or marriage & niether do I. We have been together for 4 yrs. now. My 25 yr. daughter had a little hard time with it at first & my 34 yr. daughter was ok. about it. You can’t please everyone. I have 3 sis ,1 brother & only one can’t except it too bad!!! I’v never been happier. And from what my boyfriend’s parents said neither has he.

Monika / June 17th, 2009, 11:53 am / #

I am a 44 year old woman who has been very happily married for 9 years to a 36 year old man. We met when he was 24 and I was 32. We hit it off immediately and have very similar viewpoints on most things.

At first, the age difference bothered me alot but it never bothered him so I got over it! Also, I was worried he’d want children of his own. I already had two and I wasn’t interested in having more. Luckily, he wasn’t looking to have any of his own and he loves mine as if they were his (even though they’re in their 20s).

Age really is just a number. It’s attitude and personality that makes it work, I think! In the 12+ years we’ve been together, I’ve never felt more loved or more understood. I still look forward to seeing him each and every day. He’s a keeper!

Vickie B / June 17th, 2009, 1:46 pm / #

Age does matter. But how you handle it all is what is important. I have been married to a man 17yrs older than myself for 11yrs. He is physically young. So this helps. I do worry about us growing old together as he will be there before me. I will be the caregiver. I will be the one still working when he is retired. We have a child together and it is great. I hope the future is good to us. One thing I do know is that we love each other and will be together till the end. It may not always be perfect but it will be great. Age is what you make it but you do have to be prepared for different stages you will both go through at different times.

Kara / June 17th, 2009, 9:44 pm / #

This age difference is a state of western mind. I have seen many relation-
ships where the man is 25 to 35 years older in asia with both man and women completly happy with each other

frits / June 17th, 2009, 10:35 pm / #

I am 26 soon and she is young very young and i think its THE BEST THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE.

Its the most beautiful thing in the world when 2 people like each other and you should let NO ONE stop you because THEY arnt you.

Its the most beautiful and natural thing in the world when two people like each other…. fk the age thing.

Just think about it… 1000, 2000 years ago it wasn’t a issue…. there were alot older people in love with 15 year old girls etc… even in the bible it was considered normal.
CHARLIE CHAPLIN MARRIED A GIRL WHO WAS 16 WHEN HE WAS 35 AND BACK THEN EVERYONE WAS HAPPY FOR HIM BUT NOW IN 2009 EVERY ONE IS FKING STUPID AND THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED WRONG. PFFFFFF STUPID STUPID SOCIETY THESE TIMES…..

now live in this ‘dumb’ society it is considered wrong to be in love with a girl alot younger then you.
I KNOW its absolute bullshit…. stuff the world and what everybody else thinks.. its just you and her.

My girl here on earth... / June 17th, 2009, 11:03 pm / #

My girlfriend has just turned 53 and i will be 25 on this october. i live in Pakistan whereas she is living in Canada and we are together since March19th, 2008. At first age difference bothered her alot but as we got closer to each other and never gave the time of our day to what people around us were saying, things got really smooth and we really dont care what anyone around me or her say about our age difference or the cultural and religious differences.i know one thing that when you love someone with all your heart and they love you back too nothing can ever come between them and the same is with both of us.
i love her and i am ready to do anything for her.i hope she will read this and after reading this she will be more in love with me :)
Oh and theres something else i would like to mention here that I am quite possesive and when she came to know that she respected that and this is where it shows that if your woman can understand and respect your feelings it really doesnt matter how old you are or how old is she.
Everyone who will read this please pray for us that God would bring us together soon as we are living far away from each other.

I Love You My Bunny.

Abdul Rauf / June 17th, 2009, 11:13 pm / #

My boy is 28 years older then me. I never really think about it unless I do the math. He has been the best thing that has happened to me, and my children. He is so wise and confident, loving and nurturing, and yes very sexual at 62. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I’m not sure if it’s the older man or I just found the perfect man, but I thank GOD every day that I got the oppurtunity to have what time I have with the BEST friend I could ever have.

Sandy / June 18th, 2009, 6:30 am / #

I am shocked at how people think it is right to date a 54 year old when they are only 25-26 themself. GET A BRAIN! And also, I would like to know just how young your girlfriend is, Frits. I don’t know what country you are in and to be frank, I don’t care, but how old is she? 8? 10? You are a sicko. Age does matter. And also, on another site it says about a young girl aged 12 thinking about having sex with her 28 year old boyfriend. People like this, hould be put away FOR LIFE!!!! Why is it that people think that they need to realise that they are perverts. I would like to know why people think age don’t matter???? I would like an aswer. I would never dream of dating someone older than me than 3 years younger or 3 years younger. :( It really dissapoints me that people think htat this is ok. Please put my questions to rest!

Ashbule / June 18th, 2009, 7:11 am / #

Age is just a number

surjit / June 18th, 2009, 11:55 am / #

I’ll be honest, I do have issues with huge age gaps. When the wife and I have kids (I’m 5 years older than she is), I’d be concerned if my daughter showed up at our door with a man 10+ years older, or my son came home with a girl that much younger or older. I’m absolutely willing to blame society on my issues with this. It’s only in the last 100 years that society’s view on it has changed and it’s perceived so wrongly. My wife and I talk about this all the time. What if the age difference between us was that large? That wouldn’t change who we are, or how much we love each other, but it’s a difficult perception to overcome. Whether I agree or not, I do believe that everyone has the right to be happy.

Ken / June 18th, 2009, 9:50 pm / #

I am 50 now. I have been married 22 years to a man who is 73 years old now. We have daughters together an i can tell you that a relationship like this is really easy during the first years when everything is about romance…after that you begin to ‘live’ the age difference, as somebody quotes. I believed you start it with love and if you want a long term
realtionship, you have to add a large amount of commitment and responsability on it…health problems come with age, you have to be aware of that, and you have to be there, support them, love them, even when they do not have the same strenght they use to …. then is when you really know what love is…..

Animrac / June 18th, 2009, 10:59 pm / #

I met the lady who became my wife,12 years ago.We have been happily married for 10 of those years.She is 52 and I am 74.

Tony / June 19th, 2009, 4:13 am / #

I’m 15 years old, and i’m dating a guy who is 20.
And yes, my parents are okay with it, i guess
because he was a friend of the family before
we started dating. We’ve been datin for a lil
over a year and I always get questioned
“Why are you with someone so much
older than you?”
I always tell them that age is just a number
to indicated how long we’ve been alive.
It’s not an indicator on who you can date, or be
in love with. And people always tell me that
I’m crazy for being with him because he’s
older than me, and i’m crazy for trying to settle
down so soon.

Nichole / June 19th, 2009, 5:53 am / #

I looked up this article in an attempt to put my mind at ease. My relationship age difference is realitively little in terms of some comments on here, im 26 and he is 41. At the start of our relationship the age gap made relatively little difference, other than panicing about what my dad would say!! Several years down the line the age gap is becoming an increasing problem. Im playing sports and running from party to party enjoying beer and wallowing through hangovers! Im pushing myself at work, doing to many hours and fighting for the promotion. He plods through work, sits on the sofa of an evening. Expects me to cook dinner and enjoys sunday trips out to antique fairs. I did know all this when we started dating but it was interjected at least with some time together and occationally partaking in something I enjoyed. We now also have a now daily conversation about marriage and children. I dont want children for a significant period, he understanably wants them soon.

I write this not as a dear agony aunt rant but as a consideration point on age different relationships. Yes any two people can fall in love and age is a reasonably irrelevent factor in that, however love is not always enough. Life and love are about being happy and getting out of life what you want. The more you have to sacrfice, put off, change or just put up with the more you risk starting to resent. Life is hard enough as it is so just be aware that a love life with an age different partner adds another huge boulder to be considered.

freaking out / June 19th, 2009, 9:17 pm / #

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year and half and can honestly say he is a mirror of myself..im 26 and he is 43….we fit like hand and glove..loving each other is incredibly easy..and to fear the future is pointless..i would rather have 10 years of happiness with him over 20 with someone i “settled” for.. and what better pay back to him for everyday making sure that i smile than to take care of him when he cant..my love for him is unconditional….you’ll know when its right because there will be no hesitation…

eva / June 27th, 2009, 1:57 pm / #

I notice most cases here are younger woman , older man . Was there ever a problem here ? Not really , and indeed why should there be. All relationships are between two people …. not the public . That being said , turn the roles and watch the crit .I am an older woman with a great younger many. I’m 65 he is 46 .We’ve been dating now two years and the chemistry is wonderful . Clearly I can’t have children which is sad but he assures me this is no problem. My looks allow me to pass as 50 ( for now !) as does my personality and energy . So where is my problem ? I have a neighbour who has told me how ashamed I should be and that I will ruin my partners life . Outspoken to put it mildly .I never thought of our age until these types said their bit. Age is but a number and all relationships need hard work , give and take. Oddly enough it is with age difference couple the chances of success are greater . Love matters most and like mindedness.

martha / June 29th, 2009, 4:40 am / #

Love is a unperdictable, unexplainable thing. I’m 20 and i’m dating a 37 year old. And let me tell you we both are so much a like up here in our minds and in our hearts that age never gets in the way. i’m a mother of a one year old from another relationship and he has two kids from his other relationship, and we both have our state of mind entwining. I have never been happier in my life with a man. He makes me feel so special, and we are inseparable. And let me tell you i never felt amazing as i do with intimacy with anybody but him. We connect so well with each other that nothing like age will be complicated to us. Even my parents love him. My dad is hardheaded with who kids daughters date, but he really likes him. So I say no matter how old as long as you’re both mature in heart and mind then nothing will stand in your way.

kayla / June 30th, 2009, 8:52 am / #

I am a 20 year old woman who has fallen head over heels for an amazing 38 year old man, he is the man of my dreams, and we met at our church and have been very active with the choir and SEARCH group in our church. At first I thought he was 28 and he thought I was 23, so we don’t really look our age. When I found out his real age that did not change the way I felt for him, of course it concerned me only because I knew that I had to talk to my parents/family about him. We have so much in common, we are spiritually connected, and are very close to God, we have left our relationship in the hands of God and have faith that everything will turn out just fine because this is TRUE LOVE. We have been going to daily mass together early in the morning to start our day off wonderfully and always end our day by praying together by phone just before we go to sleep. All of these special things that we do together are very important and are the base of our healthy and pure relationship, it keeps us together and on the right track, we are happily and crazy in love and have the same dream of being together forever. He offered me to test him to see how much he loves and respects me and what he is willing to do for me, The Ultimate Love Test: which is no holding hands, no kissing , nor drinking for 1 whole month, this awesome guy just keeps amazing me everyday=) (as we like to say, “shake me like a rag doll”). I recently told my mom about this age difference and it worried her somewhat but not so much as I thought it would, but the tough part will be telling my dad, the strict and very traditional one, I really trust GOD on this one, it will not be easy, and I am prepared for anything. I know that our dreams will come true because they have been so far, I know that our love story will amaze everyone and that we will MODEL TRUE LOVE for the world. I LOVE YOU!!!

Wendy / July 1st, 2009, 8:23 am / #

Hi, I’m 24 and dating a 50 year old man. We met at work, he was in fact my mentor (we no longer work at the same company but still in the same industry). Straight away we had an amazing connection. He has this ability to constantly bring out the best in me. When it is just us there is no limit to our happiness, he’s the kindest, most caring and beautiful person I’ve ever met. Just for the record, he looks every one of his 51 years, so I didn’t think he was 28 when I fell in love with him! He has two children, I’m 4 years older than his eldest, stranger still, he’s a year older than my dad! Issues for us, I want to have babies, he’s happy to have them with me but will he ever see them grow up?? Will my parents ever, ever accept it? Is he suddenly going to get old??? We’ve tried breaking up and I’ve dated other guys (my age), but the relationships are always lacking and I end up with him every time, I’ve been seeing him off an on (more on than off) for over 3 years now). Is the fact that he’s 26 years older than me enough of a reason to give up true love?

Wicked Game / July 4th, 2009, 6:18 pm / #

Wow it is so great to read so much feedback. .
I am a compelete die heard romantic and can go on and on about listening to your heart and what not. . . but I guess for once I have myself stumped!
I am 27, he is soon to be 40. As with everyone else, i would have guessed him to be no more than mid-thirties (men seem to be blessed with graceful aging haha). Yes, this is a HUGE difference with me. . i guess because my whole life i have had my list of “ideals” . . you know: must be taller, must have good job, not a man-wh*re, no criminal history, good to his family, valid drivers license & own vehicle,love children . . and of course “older than me but preferably by no more than 8 years.”

He is also my ex’s very good friend. . . but was also one of the only few to stand behind me when my ex cheated on me very very harshly. He stood by me as a friend, and after 2 yeas of debating the idea he put his entire heart and energy on the line — telling me he was blown away the first time he had met me and how jealous he was of my ex, how he wished i had met him first, and how he wants to love me the rest of his life if I will let him and make all of OUR dreams come true. As he put it — we both agree we would never THINK about dating a friends ex.. . but. . .would rather lose “Doorknob” as a friend than risk not having a future with the most amazing woman and person he has ever met. It took me months of “trying” to give him a chance before i realized that — eventhough we both know i will likely outlive him — that he WANTS to give me the most incredible life and most commited love and friendship for how ever many years we are able to share. On the bonus side, we have sooo many intrests and activities in common and we are both extremely family orientated and neither of us feel shame in wanting marriage and starting family and a secure home. I find comfort in the fact we both are on the same maturity level and are independant and hard working and very very compassionate. And for the first time I can spill out all my dreams and goals– right down to the bench swing onthe front porch and raising my family in the country . . and he just grins and says “wow. I am gonna be the best husband in the world to you one day, if you will let me.” He makes me feel beautiful, incredible, strong, appreciated, and RESPECTED. Most of all, he has taught me how to let go and that life is always blooming.

In a nut shell, like many of you. . I hope that i do not “talk myself out” of this merely on the conflict of age. . . For many of us, it’s been a long hard road to find someone who truly loves and respects and completes you . . so yes, by God – hold on with both hands!! I think 20 years of incredible deffinately overshaddows 40 years of lonely or mundane. I know he has wanted nothing more his intire life than someone who will love him and much as he loves her. And when he says he will stay faithfull to me, i believe him. When he says he loves me, i believe he MEANS thoes words in all depths and lights. When he calls me his angel, I am humbled. And when he tells me he is going to marry me and be a wonderful husband to me and an amazing father to our future children, I want to almost cry.. . . I 100% believe his intentions and know thoes are words of a MAN, not sugar-coating of a boy.

I have dated men my age and for the most part they always made me a trophy to flaunt around and took advantage of my good nature and second-chances. For the first time, I am having a man who chooses me over parties and drinking buddies. . who prefers quality over popularity . . and OH MY GOD. . .How amazing to be treated like a lady and talk about everything and anything on such a sophisticated, deep level. I take great comfort in knowing he is successful and independant and extremely gracious to everyone. . . I know I can live without him, and he can live very well without me. . but I think there is something amazing about when you choose to join together and bring such love and hope and faith to each others lives. :)

I still have to giggle though. . when he asks “my god, where have you been all my life?!?!” . . I just smirk and answer “well for the first 12 years i did not exists and then when you turned 13 I was a fetus.” .. lol . . .i think our humor helps both us and our family/friends deal with most awkwardness of the age thing.

I rather date an older prince than a young jester any day. . . we were all put here to live and love, but not given an instruction book — because there are no rules, simply ideals and realities :)

Annie / July 16th, 2009, 6:05 am / #

I am 24 and my dude just turned 50. We have our problems but he means alot to me. He is definitely in love with me and I love him too. Age is only a number. Hack I actually know more then him. LOL

EB / July 25th, 2009, 6:46 am / #

Yes. I truly believed that age doesn’t really matter…what matter is you are happy and content and accept everything that comes along. I am 23 now, I got married at the age of 21, my husband was 68 that time. He actually just died recently at the age of 70, and we are blessed with a wonderful son. From this relationship, I’ve learned a lot, I treasure everything from the start. I really love him to the point that we fought the world against us. True, it is sad that people will overlooked everything because they said that I just marry him because of money or because of his name (which is he has not rich nor millionaire and I really don’t want to use his name, I even asked him if I could change my name, but he didn’t let me do that) His family is very “popular and have the power here in our place”. So, they think a lot of negative outputs to me. They will not accept me as part of the family just because I have the
name, besides I am nobody…All they think is that I just using my late husband and they said that I really didn’t love him and the most hurtful part was they said that my son is not my husband’s son. It was too painful for that and the fact that he is gone now, nobody will protect me anymore nor who will fight for me till the ends…I really missed him so much, and its really hard to move on, it seems that my whole world had collapsed. God knows how much I love him and devoted to him…If there was a so-called re-incarnation, I wish we will meet each other again at the different times and place… Age is not really important for the two people who really loved and cared for each other. Happiness is what you create and accept for what he is and who you are is the beginning of happy-ending relationship.

I did sacrificed a lot…and I think its really worth it. Because love has no pride nor self-fish act. So now I say, if you found love, go for it, and never let go…because you live once and do everything what you can so at the end you will never regret anything…

Sarina / July 28th, 2009, 3:08 pm / #

i really dont think age matters in a relationship . I’m 17 and am dating a wonderful guy who is 25 years old . that’s an 8 year difference….so what ? if him and i don’t care about it , than why should anyone else ? we’ve been dating for a year and it’s going great . yeah we have our problems , but nothing that we can’t solve . a lot of people seem to think that the only reason why a 20 something year old would want to go out with a teenager is simply to get inside of her pants . that’s bs . we’re going out because we sincerely like each other , in other words we “click” .

Tracy / July 31st, 2009, 12:32 pm / #

I currently started dating a guy that is 24 years old and I am 17 years old. At first the age difference really had us worried about what other people would think. But we fell completely in love and everyone really accepts it. I never really notice the age difference between us…but sometimes he can go off to the bar and I’m stuck at home, but it’s something I’m willing to deal with.

Age is just an issue of mind over matter, if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.

Shelbie / July 31st, 2009, 12:59 pm / #

It is interesting to note that nearly all of the threads on here are from older men or younger women that are dating….I am a 39 yr old female, that really likes a 23 yr old male…yet I would never do anything about it as I know how badly it would be looked on. I guess if it were the other way round it would be acceptale but older female is more negatively regarded and dont know why!

I really admire older females who have found genuine love with younger males…and although I really really like this gut and he is a really good friend I just dont have the ‘balls literally’ to do anytthing about it.

Helen / August 6th, 2009, 6:21 am / #

im 21, my friends introduced me to a 39 year old. we have been spending time together alot lately… but now that people are noticing.. im nervous of the age thing…i just dont know how this relationship is going ot be judge

Jodey / August 6th, 2009, 1:24 pm / #

I realy think that all these comments are somewhat from people who have recently fallen in love….I am 19 years old and have been dating a 32yr old man for a year and 2 months. He is perfect in every aspect but the control issue is major. besides that, my family is not going to accept him, i just came to realise that im still in the avdenture stage and he is ready to settle down. we both cant compromise but we love eachother so much..i guess all i am saying is that i want somebody to grow old with, and not somebody who has already lived out what i am living now, a decade is alot of time…alot. I don’t know, maybe I am crazy and taking love for granted but i still stongly believe that we should let go, what if we are creating barriers to other opportunities (other people) out there?

Mosa / August 8th, 2009, 12:27 am / #

Age difference is a beautiful thing and it runs in my family. My parents are 16 years apart, my brother and his girlfriend are 18 yrs apart, and my sister and her husband are 10 yrs apart. I am 18 dating a 40 yr old and I’ve never been more happier in my entire life. I have always been attracted to older men ever since I started maturing. Teenage guys just don’t do it for me. My boyfriend and I do get alot of looks when we’re out together but we ignore what society has to say. He has kids younger than me which is good lol. I know that everyone says this but age is just a number. Don’t let what people say get in your way of happiness. Everyone wants to be happy whether it’s with a 20 yr old or a 60 yr old. Follow your heart.

baby t rex / August 11th, 2009, 6:22 am / #

Im coming up2 28, and im in love with a 17yr old. I dont know what to do because it feels so wrong, yet so right. Weve spoke about it, and he is so different to other guys. Maybe im just naive.

Any feedback/help wud be appreciated.

sammy / August 17th, 2009, 10:11 am / #

I am a 22 year old guy dating a 32 year old beautiful woman. She worked as a model, she’s now divorced has a 6 year old daughter. I wonder why when a man is 15 years older than a woman nobody ask anything and with this age difference of us everybody seem so shocked and believe we are doing something bad.

I feel happy, cheerful and blessed when I’m with her and I want this relationship to last. That’s all I care about. Luckily as well, we are both young and we could still have children in the future.

I just want to encourage everybody in this kind of relationship to go on and SEND TO HELL ANYBODY MESSING WITH YOUR LIFE.Because no one but ourselves can feel what will make us happy. And if we turn to be wrong, then we will have tried and it will have been our own choice.

Hugo Garcia / August 19th, 2009, 12:47 am / #

ok. so i’m 14 and this guy i like is 18- almost 19. I realize that compared to some of these stories thats no big deal, but the hard part is im a freshman in high school, and he graduated in June. It should work out because he is kind of immature, not in a bad way just acts younger than he is. And people always tell me i act older than i am. So you would think we would meet in the middle. Now I like him a lot and he likes me, hes told me as much. We just clicked instantly when we met, of course that was before we even knew how old the other was. He has started to talk to me less so i guess hes worried about the age difference too. It’s breaking my heart but I decided to just leave him alone. I don’t see how we could ever be anything besides friends, if that. I’m glad that it has worked out for most of you guys, i wish i could say the same. Good luck and a bit of advice, dont go after older guys until ur at least 18.

Born in the Wrong Year / August 28th, 2009, 3:12 am / #

All of these comments are very sweet. I met an older man a few years back. I am 21 and he is 36. We are now together, and I couldn’t be happier. We have discussed our age difference in the beginning of our relationship, and if we bring it up now we just joke about it. Both mine and his friends have noticed how much happier we’ve both become. He really does make my world go round. “When it comes to love, age is just a number”

Elle / August 31st, 2009, 1:12 pm / #

I am currently involved with a 31 yo female, I am 50 yo, at the beginning of the relationship, she was ok with the age difference. It has been a little over a year now, she is now having problems with the difference. The last time we talked, she stated that she wanted another child and that would not be possible staying with me. She states that she loves me, but seems more distance. I am seeking advice on whether to cut her loose. I love her dearly. Seeking advice on this subject

ronbo / August 31st, 2009, 11:58 pm / #

I am currently 17, and I really like this guy that was my personal trainer, and he is 25or 26. I know he likes me too. But the problem is that I am not sure about the age difference if its too much. And he is a really nice guy and my parents really like him alot..Also the problem is that he lives in california right now, and he just came and visited the other day and I was sooo…happy to see him.

Help Me!!

Lindsey / September 5th, 2009, 9:47 am / #

My bf is 44. I’m 19. We’ve been together for about a year and a half, and were friends for about a year before that. I have so many reservations: am I being moulded into somebody I don’t want to be? What will happen when he gets to his 50s and 60s – physically and mentally? These doubts won’t be new to anybody in this discussion. We have so many good times. But the age difference causes tension too – housekeeping, politics, food, entertainment, schedules. Love may be all very well, but unless you’re in a Mills and Boon novel, it’s not everything. Not even close. Rationally, I know this relationship isn’t the most ideal…but he’s such a good guy, and I do love him. It’s this horrible tension between heart and head, which makes me second guess everything. I suppose each relationship will turn on its facts though. There’s no set rule that ‘age is just a number’ or ‘love conquers all’. I think the best way to decide is to take a break, and be clear-headed in assessing how good the relationship is for you. And for once, selfishness is necessary.

Therese / September 15th, 2009, 5:10 pm / #

I’m really happy I found this message board. Recently I started hanging out with my nieghbor, she lives with her mother sister and sister little girl. Anyway, I met them back in January when they moved in. Little did I know She has had a crush on me since she laid eyes on me. To be honest I had one on her as well. For the past two months I’ve been hanging out with her and her family. before I ramble let me get the points together. Her mom and I get along very well. I’m divorced and have two little boys one 3 one 5. Shes loves them we do alot together with them. She has come right out and said shes fallen for me and I have her. Only problem we are afraid what her mom will say about this. So we are thinking maybe we should just remain friends. We can’t stop thinking about each other, we still go out together and have really great times. Oh yeah shes 21 I’m 35. I will say I dont look older than 25. I’m just looking for a direction to take here. Any help would be great.

Dave / September 23rd, 2009, 6:26 am / #

I have seen plenty of posts about men being much older but what about women. I am shooting pool with a group and a much younger man has a deep interest. He has made it known to everyone, including me. He is well aware of our age difference. He is so mature that if I did not know it, you would not be able to tell the difference there. He says that I need to relax and just let us enjoy each other and I am freaked out about the age and what people think. I love being with him and am having more fun than I have had in a lot of years. I have kids and I am afraid to even ask his age because my kids are older!! I really want to spend time with him and I love being around him! Tell me what you think?

Wenona / September 24th, 2009, 1:19 am / #

hi i’m in relationshp for past 3 yrz wid a guy who is 6 yrz younger den me. he z 20 n i’m 26, we love each other a lot but lots of time fought too. and some times i feels that our choices and hobbies are almost different. he is very short tempered and same wit me so smtimes we strt fighting jus because of it…. i love to partying, roaming like to hangaround, boosing smtimes, love to stay out of house bt he is diffrnt at this part. he like to sit at home, he play games high configration games on pc for long long hours, like to watch match instd of partying n all… now i need all of ur advise that after marriage will this relationshp gt success. plz advise me i rly need it

dips / September 25th, 2009, 8:31 pm / #

i agree what you guys are saying when you find the love of your life age is just a number.. and if your friends dont like the diffrence of age… its not there life its your you shouldnt let people tell you diffrent.. and if there true friend they wouldnt care they should just tell you what they think nothing else…

Anonymous / September 28th, 2009, 2:33 pm / #

All the men I dated in the past were older than me. So, there is a pattern. I’m 33, and a guy I strated recently seeing is 61. I understand that 28 years difference is a huge gap, but…. He makes me feel absolutely alive and vibrant, all my senses are sharpened, He treats me like a crystal flower: delicate, beautiful and rare. I feel so much compassion, respect and admiration towards him. I know i’m falling for him, faster that my brain wants me to . I’m still trying to rationalize and argue both sides, pros and cons, of such a relationship. I have a fear of announcing our duet to the public, I’m sure my parents and friends will be shocked when they find out. He has 3 kids, the oldest one is 3 years younger than me. Will they accept me? But if the feeling is real and strong, doesthe age difference matter? I’ve been looking for love, almost gave up on finding it, and do i have to let it go only because he’s my dad’s age? We have so many interests in common: we love to travel, attend cultural events, read books, explore different cousines, expand our horisons in every aspect of life. He’s an amazing communicator, and I can just sit there for hours listening to his amazing stories, or just to be quiet together. Our relationship is still very young, we are taking it slow, getting to know each other, but I’m really happy and i can’t wait until our next date. We need to give it a chance…

old soul, young body / October 1st, 2009, 8:44 pm / #

I am 30 years old and dating a 57 year old man. I know…quite the difference. He’s been my friend for years, and one day I realized that he’s my best friend. There is nothing in the world we can’t talk about. I have never been made to feel like I’m the greatest person in the world, until I met him.He understands me better than I understand me sometimes. Now, I feel like I don’t want to live without him. I feel like this is the man that was put on this earth for me to love. I don’t know how people will handle this when they find out, but it doesn’t matter compared to the alternative of not having the one you love by your side. Everyone else will learn to deal with it..or not. I deserve to be happy. Everyone does. Why not spend this short life, beside the one that makes you truly happy.

anonymous / October 3rd, 2009, 11:29 pm / #

I came across this article just out of curiousity because there is a 20 year (He’s 42, I’m 22.) age difference between me and my boyfriend. I never think about the age difference, it never really occurs to me, until I think about telling my parents about us. They are a little old fashioned, I guess you could say, but I’m happy, and that’s all that should matter right? We have been dating for almost 5 months, and I’ve never been happier in my life. His kids (which are about my age) all love me and accept me, and I love them just as much, so there’s no issue there with us. We occasionally talk about the age difference because he’s afraid my parents and friends won’t accept him for who he is, and just look at how much older he is than me. I keep telling him, that once I get the courage to tell everyone, that if they just get to know him, they’ll love him just as much as I do and never even think about his age. I love him with all my heart, and I’m happy…that’s really all that should matter. Age IS just a number.

Leigh / October 5th, 2009, 3:19 am / #

Im only 15 , and im in love with a 25 year old man. My parents had 30 years of difference so i think that age does not matters at all. But the thing is that i know that i coulnd be in a relationship with him right now ( first im not alowed because of my age and all ) But i LOVE him so much , like if it was just up to me i would be with him . when i ‘ ll be 20 or something he’ll be 30 so it’s not that bad.

Anyways , i just wanna tell you people that if you love somebody more than anything , you shouln’d be worrying about the age of difference. I know that sometimes it’s tough beacause we’re afraid f what people are going to say . But if we’Re happy , that’s all that matters :)

Wendy / October 6th, 2009, 12:12 pm / #

I’m a 43 year old woman in love with a 21 year old man.(hows that for a gap?!) I can say man because he actually acts like one, in every way. We met when he was 20 and there was an instant attraction but I still tried to keep my distance, it didn’t work. I’ve noticed that society can let it slide a lot easier when its an older man with a younger woman, but people are much more reactive to the reverse. People always think he’s my son and when they find out he’s not they have actually asked him if he’s looking for a “mommy” and why he wants to be with an old lady. His family and friends have been very accepting, but I know mine won’t be. We’ve kept our relationship secret but I don’t want to keep it secret anymore. We both accept the “generational” gap between us and allow each other the minor differences it causes. Other than that we don’t seem to have any problems we can’t work through. Together, there is no age difference between us and we get along wonderfully. I can’t wait for the day we can finally get the courage to completely come out of the closet but I don’t look forward to the problems it is going to cause in my family. I wish age really was just a number, it’s a shame more people don’t feel that way.

Smalltown SD / October 12th, 2009, 8:56 am / #

My fiancee is 41 and I am 26. He is my soulmate. Neither of us has ever been married or have any kids. We are looking forward to expierencing these things together. I am so happy that I have found the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. When it comes to love, age is just a number.

Sarah / October 20th, 2009, 10:57 pm / #

I’m so glad I found this site. I am 40 yr old male and I have meet a 19 yr old female. We get along together very well.

We really enjoy being friends and I would like for it to proceed further. I don’t know if she wants the same thing. I guess I wonder if a 19 yr old female just wants to be friends with a 40 yr old guy.

I have been thinking of the future and our age difference concerning children career etc. I don’t have any children but I would be ok with having them in 10 yrs time with her when she is 29 and I 50. I don’t look or feel my age and she did not know how old I was until I told her.

I can see myself being with her for the rest of my life and after reading some of the comments on this site I see it can be possible even though there is a 21 yr age difference.

annon / October 21st, 2009, 4:07 pm / #

I am 27 years old, and the love of my life is 45. That is an 18 year age difference. We met at work close to 4 years ago. We have been together about 3 years now. He makes me happier than anything else in the world. He is 2 years younger than my parents. He has met all of my family and friends, and they all like him alot. We have alot of fun together and share many interests. I had to do alot of thinking about the age gap in the start of our relationship, to make sure I would be happy with it in the long-term. My love for him is unconditional. I would do anything for him, and I would be there for him no matter what. We share common life goals. Neither of us have any plans on getting married. He has 2 college age kids. They are great. I have no plans of wanting children of my own. I enjoy the little “family” that we have. I wouldn’t trade this man for anything in the world. He makes me so happy. He is a sweetheart and he treats me well. He is very young at heart, and by looking at him you would think he was only 32. I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else. He completes me and makes me feel special. I love this man, and I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else.

HWY37 / October 26th, 2009, 6:18 am / #

What’s on here really validates me. I admit I do have a little problem with large age gaps but as long as it’s legal or at least where both partners are at an age where they at least have a chance to be mature I don’t think it’s anyone’s business.
I met a beautiful, wonderful woman through my job (I work in a sports store) early this summer. We have classes where we teach people how to run, and on wednesdays and sundays we have free runs where anyone can come out. She was training to run her first marathon. I remember clearly, everyone had come back from their routes already but someone was missing. She was still out there, becausee she had run a little farther than she should have this time so she was hobbling a bit. I remember her coming and though she was sweaty, hang-dog tired, and dirty (she fell at one point) I couldn’t stop looking at her.
We sat her down and gave her water. We kept her there for a few hours just to make sure she was okay. She told me later that she couldn’t stop looking at me all day long. I love my job, but I started looking forward to my sunday shifts, because I knew I’d get to see her. She always was one of the last ones in, because she was training harder than the rest of them. We talked for over an hour at least every week (I was still doing my work though!)
It’s fall now, we started dating mid-september. I made a huge mistake and lied to my parents about her age. My dad’s the sort who isn’t afraid to throw you out of the house to make his point. And seeing as I can’t afford to complete my university degree by myself (I can’t find a job that has enough hours still) I thought it best to keep it to myself. She was worried about our age difference at first. She was afraid she was doing something wrong. But I didn’t care, that I’m not ashamed of it. She’s amazing, cultured, independent and strong, but so sensitive and empathetic as well. I love her so much it hurts.
I know that because she is working and I’m a student we do see things differently, and our views will never be exactly in line. But it’s no big deal to us to disagree and we talk about why we see things differently. I love when we don’t agree, cause we get to compare ideas. I feel like we come out smarter (both of us!) from those conversations.
A few days ago, it came out what our age difference was. I’m 22, and she’s 29. Compared to some of the age differences on here it’s kinda like “Who the fuck cares?” right? My parents and my sister (who, having had a bunch of relationships that our parents had trouble with I was SURE would be on my side) are dead set against it. Their reasons? They believe that she’s preying on me sexually (having been a player in the past, not proud of it, I know what it looks like, man or woman) and they seem simply to find the age difference unseemly. It’s unacceptable to them. It’s such bullshit though because both my parent’s parents had age gaps of like 5 years. My dad said “make your own decisions” and when he says that it means he’s falling back on the old threat. Rather than try to convince through logical argument, which is what he taught me makes a society make sense, he would coerce.
I told her what had happened yesterday. I didn’t leave anything out, and it hurt her feelings. I feel like I shouldn’t have told her all of it but I didn’t want to lie to her. Up to now, I knew she clearly cared about me but that’s all. It made us both cry to know that it took my parents trying to break us apart to convince her to say “I love you.”
I’ve been in an “I love you” relationship before. Back then, it was almost like a burden, every time the girl said it. When my girlfriend now says it, it’s like a gift. I’ve grilled myself from every angle I can think of on this subject, including “down the line” familial perception, how finances would work, and whether I am suppressing any alternate feelings for her. The truth is simply that I love her. I love her in a way I didn’t think could be true, in a way I always thought had to be a lie, born of fear or ignorance. Our relationship isn’t perfect; sometimes she says I can be dramatic (and I can) and sometimes she can be cold in public (but never alone) but we accept these things as minor when we view how many things there are about each other that we cherish.
Right now, we’re thinking that we have to split up. She doesn’t want to hurt my relationship with my parents (whom I will never forgive, but neither she nor I can help that) and she doesn’t want me to hurt myself to be with her. She’s so virtuous I know that if my nuclear family ever spoke to her they couldn’t help but be impressed by her integrity.
The only way I can think that I might be able to help is to bring in other parts of the family, to speak on my behalf (no matter what tactic I use I’m met with total stubbornness and refusal to listen).
I can’t let her go. I won’t say “I can’t live without her” because unless I were to kill myself it’s just not true. But I would be irrevocably lessened by losing her. I haven’t felt this bad since my little brother died. The pain is just as intense, as horrific. I’ve never loved someone so deeply.

Please help us, I need advice

Edward / October 27th, 2009, 2:16 am / #

So glad so many other people feel the same way, I am 27 dating a 49 year old. At first we were both worried about the issues that could arise and then we just gave in to our feelings and it has been unbelievable ever since. I have found my best friend and my soul mate. The age thing really doesn’t come into play much, he has 2 children from a previous marriage and we are planning to have a little one of our own in the near future. As long as you are happy in life everything else will fall into place, to find him was beshert.

MOnica / October 31st, 2009, 3:44 am / #

It was relieving for me to read this article. I’m 19 years old, and absolutely in love with a man 14 years older. I was a senior in high school when our love evolved, and it ended up being publicized. Needless to say, my parents are now not very fond of him. I can’t find any other man who makes me feel the way that he does. I would go to the moon and back for him, but what makes me hesitant is the fact that my family is so important to me. I don’t want to lose them, but on the other hand, I can’t just ignore the fact that I love him. If he truly makes me happy then they should be happy for me, right? I haven’t yet been open about us being together, and probably won’t until I’m out of college and settled on my own.

Has anyone else had any similar experiences?
Any advice on how to tell my parents if/when I tell them?

ABCD / November 3rd, 2009, 4:41 am / #

I am married to someone 23 years older than I. We met when I was 30 and he was 53. Now we are too far apart. I am still young inside and athletic and in the prime of my career and he is getting older fast and I am losing my desire to spend time with him as anything more than a friend. Now we have two boys and a life, but we never spend time together. I would love to move on, but how do I leave a 70 year old all alone. I am so miserable.

Think long and hard about the future before you commit to a life with someone of a different generation. It will catch up to you, and it will not be pleasant.

aed.

Ad / November 3rd, 2009, 9:02 am / #

I’m 19 and dating a man that is 20 years older than me and it works. I one hundred percent agree that maturity is a main factor in a relationship with a large age gap. Growing up I always felt like my mind was five years ahead of my body, which is true in many instances. I gravitate toward people that are older than me or have a similar maturity level. I’m a freshman in college and not the happiest about living in the dorms because other kids are up at all hours of the night (although it’s almost 3am now and I’m still up) shrieking in the hallway. My boyfriends reaction was, well they are all acting like they’re 18 or 19 years old when you behave like your 29 or 30. I also love the fact that I can come to him with a problem and he usually has wonderful advice for me because he is older and remembers being my age. Another key factor is he’s a young 39. He’s certainly not boring because he manages a rock star for a living and can be playful. This is not to say he is immature because he isn’t. He works very hard and I really have profound respect for him. On the flip side I will say you have to be strong to take on an age gap that large. I do get judged very harshly and I’m sure he does too. But if you know it works that’s all that matters. Age is just a number.

J / November 9th, 2009, 5:58 pm / #

I would like to sat I too appreciate the comments because they’re real. I’m 18 years old and my heart is 23 years older than me. He has kids his older two are older than me but he had his first born when he was 16. But We’ve known each other for 2 years now and I adore him like crazy. W have our fights like normal couples and we have our breath taking moments as well. Not only that but he has a situation going on that he needs to take care of but no matter what we are in love with each other. My family doesn’t know about us so I think but they do know him. I’m worried about that because my family are protective and judgemental like seriously. He tells me that I think and care about what others have to say and he is so true I have and I’ve nerver been happy because of it. Meeting him was the best thing I could’ve ever experienced. I say to all who are in a relationship that people outside looking in would say something, keep doing you. Live your life the way you want to. I mean we can’t control who we fall head over hills for. I had to tell myself that and I had to realize that I’m not your typical 18 yr old but I love who I am and where God is taking me in my life and within my relationship. God Bless!

Terra / November 13th, 2009, 2:25 am / #

Hi; I’m 19, and my soon-to-be husband (next monday!) is 41 years old. When I think of the age difference between us, the only thing that bothers me is that I will most likely be a widow for 20 to 30 years. He’s an amazing, handsome, wonderfully kind and fun man to be around. We are best friends and I can’t imagine living life with anyone else. We also happen to be first cousins (I know many of you will go ‘ew’ at this).

Needless to say, our families disapprove heartily. To anyone who is in or considering any relationship that your family will disapprove of, I can’t give you a simple answer. I would advise you to be open and honest with everyone involved if you’re really serious about making it work. Your family (in most cases) just wants the best for you, and anger won’t help. However, I also think that you should be true to your own needs and wants. If you love them and your relationship can turn into something that will last a lifetime, go for it!

We love each other more than anything in the world, and we believe we’re doing the right thing by getting married. I guess only time will tell… I’ll check back in a few years or so and give y’all an update! ;-)

Dyyla Joi / November 13th, 2009, 11:28 am / #

im 15 and my boyfriend is 19. i know that doesnt look or sound bad up to alot of people who have commented on here but the thing is hes legal and im not, so i think people would find that abit of a problem.we have been going out for nearly 3 month and i love him more than anything and he said he feels the same way about me. (also i knew him for 3 year before we was going out and weve always got on really well and hes always looked after me) i find that going out with someone older is so much better because there more mature and treat you with more respect than younger lads.he said he doesnt want me for sex just mostly company and hes not going to rush me into anything, he said he would wait for me and he would wait until i turned 16. I havent told my parents about any of this because i dont think they would be that impressed there first thought would be that hes using me and only wants one thing and i would be afraid that they would try and stop me from seeing him,it would really really hurt me.should i keep it from them until i turn 16? if i did that though i would have to keep hiding what im doing from them for a year. what should i do!? i really belive age is just a number, if im happy and hes happy then everyone else should be.

unkown / November 16th, 2009, 1:04 am / #

I am dating a man who is 12 years older than me, but it doesn’t even feel like there is a difference! I think our maturity level is somewhat alike. We both agree on most things; we rarely fight, and most importantly – we love each other! Age difference can matter in some areas of life, like the way your friends look at your relationship, or the goals and activities you do. Something will clash at some point. What really matters is if you can work through these things. I’ve fallen for him because he understands me and he can make me laugh at any given time. He said he’s fallen for me because he gets a warm feeling every time he looks at me. We found our common ground together. I’m glad we found each other. <3

Sara / November 18th, 2009, 4:37 pm / #

I’m 16… and I met this man online recently… he’s 29. I don’t know how but things just started clicking. I think I’m already falling in love with him. The thing is… he lives in Austrailia and I in Canada. I’m pretty sure we both love eachother but none of my friends approve. They say why someone almost double your age? They also despise the long distance relationships.
He’s such an amazing guy and my heart is filled with jolts when I talk to him. I never expected something like this to happen to me, and I’m scared that it’s too good to be true. I’m not sure really what to do. I know age is just a number, but unfortunately, it affects the view of many people… help?
Thanks.
I hope something good happens.

Lovebird / November 28th, 2009, 9:59 am / #

I am 3 years younger then my boyfriend (im 16 hes 19) and on top of that we are 4 states away from each other. we see each other often and we talk all the time via skype. we have already committed to each other and couldnt be happier with the decision. now we are just waiting out the time until we are older to make anything more final of a decision and to inform our parents, there is nothing wrong with a relationship of distance (land) or distance of age.

ava / November 28th, 2009, 3:07 pm / #

i am 35 and have been seeing a girl who is 18 years younger than me and like so many others it seems as if the age diffrence is softened by the fact that i am young at heart and easily taken for being in my mid to late twenties and that she is more mature than her age belies.

I have been married ( 7 years) before to a woman slightly older than myself and to be honest i would not date another woman my own age… i do believe that an age gap between a man and a woman is actually a very healthy thing and that it depends on the people involved as to what kind of gap they are comfortable with. my mum is 13 years younger than my dad and they have had an incredible relationship.

i think its true to say that there are issues that will have to be faced in any relationship, if you have an age diffrence you may have to face some of those issues but its how you deal with them that will make the diffrence not the fact that you have them.

having said this i must say that i think age gaps that are over the twenty year barrier will face more issues than others – the perfect gap ? 10-15 years.

jason / November 30th, 2009, 4:40 pm / #

I’m 18 and on friday my boyfriend will be turning 21. We’ve been together for 2 years now, I met him when I was a freshman in highschool and we’ve just been inseperateable since. He’s my first boyfriend, and at the end of his senior year and my sophomore year, he had to move to Orlando school and I was moving back to NC. I haven’t seen him in a year now.

For awhile I never thought of the age difference, but now that he’s reaching 21 I worry that I’m holding him back from life. We want to get married and have kids and all of that. But, I have yet to start college and he hasn’t gotten a job yet (he’s already graduated and has a bachelor’s degree) I always feel like time is going to pass too quickly and we won’t have time to do the things we want. I worry that he’ll reach a point that I’m not worth this wait and find someone closer to his age. He’s reassured me countless times, he’s such a loving boyfriend. But I worry you know ? I love him more than anything though. We’re technically only 2 and 1/2 years apart … kinda lol. Ah, what’s to worry about we love eachother, and we’ll make it through this. <333

Jami / December 3rd, 2009, 5:18 pm / #

I Am 16 nearly 17 and have fallen for a man who is 32, so this is a 16 year 1ge gap. i fell in love with him the moment i met him, he looks so much younger than 32 till he told me his age this has not changed my mind, this has made me more determined that i love him and want to be with him. i have’nt told him my feelings do you think i should??? he also has a 7year old daughter from a previous marriage who is adorable and cute and loves me and thinks of me like a mum… help do i i tell him how i feel??

Fayyy / December 6th, 2009, 7:33 am / #

:/ Well, Mine Isn’t Such A Huge Epic Gap As Many Others, Cause People These Day’s Are So Dramatic And Judgmental About Every Little Thing. Well I’m 13 With A 15 Year Old Soon TO be 16 Its A 3/2 Year Difference, And Yes I Know I’m To Young TO “Love” Believe Or Not I’ve Been Through Alot For A 13 Year Old But You See The Difficult Part About Or Relationship Is That We Are Miles Apart (Yes, This Is A Long Distance Relationship.) Its A Romeo And Juliet Thing As Well Since His Parents Don’t Approve Of Me And Believe He Is Wasting His Time As I As Well, But See We Really Do Love Eachother For Us It Was A Love At First Sight Since We Met At A Christan Camp Age Bothered Him At First, But He Learned To Get Over It Over The Days He Spent With Me. But We REALLY Do Love Each Other Enough That We Are Willing To Wait To Be Together And We Really Have Considered “Marriage” When Of Course I’m 18, And I Know He Doesn’t Want Me For ‘Sex’ He’s Not Like That At All, Known Him Long Enough To Know He Wouldn’t And The Fact He Told Me. The Only Thing That Worries Me Is That Well We Are Still Kids Correction I Am A Pre-Teen, And He’s A Teen We Both Have Needs And Wants But We Are Committed To Our Relationship (Godly Relationship That Is.) Ugh, We Feel This Is Right And That We Are On The Right Track But Our Parents Of Course Beg To Differ.

Serena / December 15th, 2009, 10:54 am / #

Who published this?

Brittny / December 19th, 2009, 6:00 am / #

Hi, I am 20, and I met a person who is 15. I am a Christian she is a Buddhist. I do believe age difference is a problem. I have to think about what is best for me and my future partner. I do not believe I’m in no rush. I feel it’s a great chance for me to love and respect her and her family (with no pressure). I love her and her family to death. I have kept this secret for a year now. Not because I’m am afraid but because I’ve been more of a brother figure than a lover. So I love her and is allowing her to be free in till she is 18. I am patient. When I see her and look into her eyes, I feel I’m missing something; that is her. My Life goal; was to be a loner free lance photographer. I think when we’re in love the first sign is we neglect our dreams. I have to choose one. I think I am in love but I also believe she’s in love with me. When we are away from each im not scared, jealous, or unfaithful. When we are together our love seems to be bring people together. Sometimes she drain me out, yes im a 20 years old, but she is something else. She’s not immature, she acts like a mother it’s funny I know. She’s smart, funny, and unselfish. It’s almost impossible to give this up it’s like winning the lottery and giving it to the bum on the street. She has also kept it a secret. But she has told me she loves me. I believe I am in some deep shit sometimes. I won’t jeopardize my friendship, job, and future. If I know she does not feel the same. I will conclude that, True love brings people together. She has done that for me. My happiness now is of no concern anymore. It’s seem it’s for me to make her happy, even if that mean I have to let her go. She is also talking to a younger guy her age. The funny thing is he is so handsome and I even like him (friend wise), and she’s so beautiful, me I’m the average Joe. It’s seem though that her mind is split so I am doing my best to just be cool about it. lol I know I might lose her but it’s not like I had her to begin with. Well thanks for not reading the whole thing, but if you did I hope you find what your looking for. And I advice that we should pray and work hard to find that special someone that will make life better. ;)

Josh / December 20th, 2009, 7:32 pm / #

Question: “What does the Bible say about age differences in relationships?”

Answer: The Bible very rarely gives us age examples in marriage relationships (or in any other situation, for that matter). We do know that Abraham was 10 years older than Sarah (Genesis 17:17), but there are no other couples in the Bible where both individuals’ ages are given. It is often assumed, for example, that Joseph was significantly older than Mary. However, there is absolutely nothing in the Bible that indicates this.

Age can be important in a marriage, but it is far less important than other issues such as salvation, spiritual maturity, compatibility, etc. As people get older, age difference means less and less. Obviously, a 40-year-old marrying a 20-year-old will be questioned, while no one will think twice about an 80-year-old marrying a 60-year-old. The only warning regarding age in marriage is to avoid marrying someone young for lustful purposes, and avoid marrying someone older for money. The best course of action is to pray to God for wisdom concerning any prospective relationship (James 1:5).

Josh / December 20th, 2009, 7:55 pm / #

I’m 33 and I’m in love with a 17yo girl, we are not going out but we get along very well, like we have known each other in a past life or something, I always feel so bad and conflicted about liking her though, it’s so painful for me, I can’t stand it, even though I look about 24 I wish that I really was 24 so I wouldn’t be embarassed about my age.

Tim / December 21st, 2009, 4:43 am / #

these comments have helped me alot, i have a friend that i feel deeply about, who is 30yrs old. we talk about going out when im older, and most of the time we are kidding around, but honestly i think it might work… the problem is im 16. and im scared of what everyone will say, how they will react and how our relationship will go… im really unsure… someone help please :(

blahh. / January 3rd, 2010, 11:30 pm / #

me and the guy i love have 20 years between us. it’s a wonderful feeling knowing you can trust someone that is somewhat older then you.
i honestly think age is nothing but a number.
i am still younge and it obviously is still illeagal for me to actually be wth him. we are waiting for my age to be complete and hopefully be happily married in 2 years time. i am still waiting for my parents approval, since they are not letting me be with someone that is lebanese, since we are turkish and we have a different tradition. his got a son that is closer to my age. i dont know if im going to regret it in the future, but at the moment im happy as can be and wont trade anything for this feeling he gives me every morning with that delightful msg that keeps me going through the day. :) I LOVE YOU MY BABY!

OMG ITS ME / January 4th, 2010, 1:22 pm / #

to: BLAHH;
im 16 aswell and the guy i love is 36 (: i wrote something just above this comment. if you truly love him then there is nothing to worry about, if you two are together before you are 18, and if you are in australia. then dont let the law find out you two are together or he will be in deep trouble. but love is love and you cannot do anything about it. dont listen to what anyone has to say. just leave it up to nature and you will be VERY happy trust me. :)

OMG ITS ME / January 4th, 2010, 1:26 pm / #

Good article. Quite a few articles have been written dealing with age difference in a certain moment in time. Not too much is out there related to a relationship with a substantial age difference that is lasting 5, 10, 15 or 30 years. I am in a relationship with someone 30 year my senior and have been for the past 12 years – the age gap in our case is ten times the average. I have started a blog that will deal with my/our state of mind and struggles and successes over the years (before marriage through my early twenties, through marriage, through parenthood…) The blog’s space: http://tentimestheaverage.wordpress.com.

MayCember / January 5th, 2010, 4:38 am / #

i am 19 and the man i love is 42 and people always stare but i found him in my younger years weve been running for 4 solid years. we plan to get married within the next few years. he already has 2 kids with his ex wife and they are 10 and 7. we are doing great i was worried at first but im happy that everything has worked out with us.And i hope we will last forever and always babe.

Love / January 5th, 2010, 5:23 am / #

i noticed while reading all these comments that the age gaps are all reasonable; but i’m a 15 year old girl & im seeing a 54 year old; might seem wrong to everyone else; but i love him. :/

Abby / January 5th, 2010, 7:33 am / #

This sucks- I’m 16 and i love someone who is 21. We are of the same maturity and everything, and have known each other a little under a year. But i cant be with him because my parents don’t agree, and have told me i cannot have any contact with him at all. I really don’t know what to do, at all.

Loz / January 6th, 2010, 7:03 am / #

When i was fifteen, my best friend of a year and i fell in love. we get along really well and he can always cheer me up when i’m upset. he is the only person that has ever made me feel my worth and given me a reason to wake up happy every morning. spending time with him is like being in a different world, and it is far better than the one i come from at home. his family is also amazing, and they treat like family too. they make me feel so welcome and don’t judge me for any reason. they love me for who i am as a person, not how old i am, and he is the same way. also, i was the first girl he ever dated, let alone fell in love with, and after three years of trying to move on from each other (due to age difference), i have discovered that no matter how many people i meet and date and no matter how hard i try, he still has my heart. he has dated a couple of others, as well, but only to get the same results as me. also, the others we dated were much closer to our age group. i am now 18 and about to graduate and go to college. i have a part time job at a supermarket. he is in his third year of college, also working part time at a different supermarket. we sound so similar, and we are, yet society is blind to what is “right” and what is real and it’s keeping us apart still. also, i know my family would never be as open and accepting and loving as his. Why? Because although he is a kind, respectful, genuine person, he’s nine and a half years older than me. We stay in touch, and if the future holds a life for he and i in a couple years, perhaps we can be together at last. As for everyone else on here who is truly in love with the one, but hesitant because of age- if or when the time is right, i hope it all falls into place for you. and for those who have been happily married already- i admire you and thank you for choosing happiness over being typical.

Hoshmoggenette / January 15th, 2010, 10:37 am / #

Im 22 years old and im in love with a 32 year old women. with 2 kids. A husband she is legally seperated fronm and a ex boyfriend who seems to never leave the picture. The relationship is not complicated but its Complicated. i feel that she hides the fact that were together. But she reall loves me and my maturity level… were on the same page emotionally but i feel some thing is wrong she doesnt let people know about us and it makes me feel some sort of way to me i dont see the age… will this relationship ever work

DrewMania / January 18th, 2010, 7:22 am / #

I am irrefutably attracted to this man whom I know is 42 or 43 yrs old. I am only 24 and right now we go to the same gym and we are always checking each other out. I was wondering whether or not this would work. But reading all these stories…it is a pretty solid positive indicator. I am just afraid to tell later how much younger than him I am…althought people always think that Im in my late 20′s…28, 29.

Queen L / January 18th, 2010, 2:10 pm / #

I’m very thankful I found this. ( Nearly lost it due to computer malfunction )

My man is 5 years my senior, We are both teens, (14 & 19) We can’t have sex. ( Him being incapable because of an accident) I see no problem with our love.

But I think their are boundaries…. ( eg 13yr old with a 45 yr old, I see as pedophilic behaviour, to an extent )

But I believe maturity is relative to the person.

Anon. / January 23rd, 2010, 5:04 pm / #

im nearly 18 and he is going to be 25 this year. he says he wants to wait till im 18. i like him alot and im pretty sure he likes me. But im afraid he just wants to hit it and quit it, if you know what i mean?

Chicken / January 30th, 2010, 12:17 pm / #

My bf is 25yrs and am 28yrs and a mother of 1kid. how do i convince him that age is just but a number.

esther / February 3rd, 2010, 4:27 pm / #

Reading these comments really helped with my anticipation and confidence of my situation. And feeling so confident, I entered myself into a situation that I’m really not sure about now. In fact, it turned out not so well.
I’d just like to share with you guys what I now have on my hands.
Obviously, I’m involved with someone of an age difference. I’m a 15 year old girl, and I happen to be dating a 25 year old man.
He treats me perfectly. Besides being one of the most beautiful men that I’ve ever seen, we match up in everything. We have the same sense of humor, love of knowledge, and similar interests. He’s also incredibly knowledgable, and I know that he likes me for me because he’s always dated women his own age before now. He’s not a pedophile or anything, I guess I’m just exceptionally mature. (After reading these comments though, I feel like 10 years is almost normal, besides the fact that his parents are 10 years apart, and I met another girl today whose parents are 10 years apart, and one a couple days ago whose parents are 7 years apart.) I know that if it weren’t or society’s idea of acceptance, we’d be viewed as a perfect couple.
Anyway, we live close to one another, and so we’ve been seeing each other at parks to talk, etc. I really do love being with him and around him, and I’m positive that this relationship will last a long time.
However, I knew that my parents wouldn’t approve, and so I’ve been keeping him a secret. (Which I feel is a mature decision, we were going to go public as soon as I reached legal age, 18. And I feel completely sure that we’ll make it that long.)

So today was a half-day. Meaning that, although I’d only go to school for part of the day, my parents would still be at work when we got out. And I told him, and we devised a plan. I would meet him at the park like always, but then we would go and do other things, too. We had 5 hours, more than twice as long as usual. So we decided to go to this strip mall near the park and our houses, and then we eventually just ended up wandering over to his house.
I’ve been stressed out about homework and such lately, and I’ve had so much work that I really haven’t been able to get anything done. Because of that, I’ve been grounded from going to my friends’ houses until I make up all of the work that I have missing. So I didn’t tell my mom that I was going anywhere, because I planned to make it home before she got home, and I knew that I couldn’t tell her that I went anywhere because I was grounded.
And I told my younger sister that I went over to my friend’s house, because she didn’t know that I was supposed to be grounded, and she was home for a half day like I was.
There are two major things that went array with this plan:
1. I tend to turn my phone off always, to save energy.
2. The friend whose house I told my little sister that I was staying at knows about my man, and disapproves of me talking to him because of the whole illegality thing.

So here’s what happened: I went to go hang out with him as planned, but because my phone was turned off, I lost track of time and my mom got home before I did. Having told my sister that I was at my friend’s house, my mom goes to my friend’s house to track me down. When I wasn’t there, both my mom and friend get confused and angry and ask me about what I did. I told both of them the truth, that I was with him. But I didn’t tell either of them that I was in a relationship with him, because I knew that they’d disapprove. So now neither of them know what to do… I’ve lost the trust of both of them. And that’s even with not telling them the full truth.
I’m not sure what the situation will be like in the future. Hopefully it’ll all blow over. But for right now, it is NOT a good thing.

So here’s a little bit of advice: Maybe you’re happy with your significant other. (I know that I am.) Maybe everything seems to be going perfect between you two. (For me, it is.) But that does NOT mean that society is ready for your age difference, especially if one of you is underage. Go into things slowly, and make sure that you’re making the right decisions are you do them. Sometimes the best thing to do is wait.

MissFifteen / February 4th, 2010, 10:12 am / #

This article is great. I finished school and started a job in my career two years ago. As soon as I started at this workplace I was immediatly friends with one of the men there. I should mention I am autobody mechanic so I work with all men, I am the only woman ever to work there. Anyways, As soon as I met this person I was just immediatly stuck, we were best friends. I was 21 when I started there, he was 34. Now almost two years later, and after both of us having bad relationship after another, we finally admitted what was obvious all along. Even in these two years, our co-workers dubbed us as a joke “the married couple”. I never thought I could be with someone every day and still miss them. I’ve never felt so cared for by someone in my life, I’ve never had anyone on a daily basis make me laugh untill i nearly pee my pants. I realized age is just a number. And it took just untill a month ago after telling a friend that was home from university, after I told her about this person, she said I think you’ve definetly been with the wrong people. And finally I realized I had right in front of me what I’ve always wanted. Althought I always cared for this person alot, I ignored my feelings for him because of the age difference. But Now i realized age doesnt matter. All that matters is that your happy and you have love in your life.

BethE / February 6th, 2010, 7:25 am / #

wow wt cn i say?? wt a comfort this page has been to me! i am 17 years old soon 2 be 18.. my bf is 27 yrs my senior n we get on liek a house on fire… maturity is nt an issue.. i have been told many times how mature i am.. n as for him he is far from a grumpy old man! we have nerli been 2gether 4 a yr now n it has all been hush hush nt a sole knows!!
good luck wiv everybody.. i lvoe him so much n i pray one day we will be accepted by our family.. i doubt it though ,…)

linda / February 7th, 2010, 12:42 am / #

I dunno. Think hard. I’m trying to. I’m 46 and separated from my ex-wife (38…there were age-difference issues there when we kicked off!) and have two boys. I’m becoming closer and closer to a 19 year old girl. Physically and sexually things have been beautiful, we feel ‘in love’ and we text, email, FB and talk on the phone almost constantly. Although she’s from my hometown, she’s at college half the year at the other end of England – hundreds of miles away from me.

We’ve twice tried to break up, citing the hopelessness of it all. But after a few days each time she, or I, drifted back to the other and we gladly made up. We’re still pretty much a secret. Only a tiny handful of our friends know. Every day we seem to be closer. I’d even use that cliched word ‘soulmates’. We’re so easy and comfortable in each other’s company.

But…25 years difference…I can’t help thinking we are nuts. Her dad’s a year younger than I am. Everyone’s going to go crazy if we go public. She’s so talented and energetic and has her whole life ahead of her. So much of me wants to finish it. But we feel so right. It’s hard…

JarredUK / February 7th, 2010, 5:11 am / #

i was just looking to see other peoples’ opinions on this matter and am so glad i have read this.
i am 17, and the guy i’m seeing is 23 going on 24 next month. i won’t be 18 until september. i’m still in school but he’s in his second year of university – the same uni i will be going to in september.
He’s great for me and i like him very much but my mum does not approve of the relationship, and even called him a pedophile. he lives with flatmates at the moment, and introduced me to them the first time we went out. he doesn’t pressure me to do anything and we talk everything through. we met through work but have gotten to know each other so well.
i honestly don’t see any problem with my age difference. Before, i did think “he’s way too old for me” .. but now, actually being with him, it feels great.
for other people out there whose parents disapprove, don’t let it get to you. I have stopped trying to persuade mine that the age gap doesn’t matter, just go on with it, in time they’ll come to acknowledge that it doesn’t matter at all. I mean, there’s a girl at my work the same age as me going out with a guy who’s 37, so my 6 year age gap definitely has nothing wrong with it.

Anon. / February 9th, 2010, 9:49 pm / #

Hello all. I am 32 soon to be 33 and my fiancee is 20. We have been together 1 year and 5 months and so far thing are going good, but people seem she is too young to be getting married and that she should enjoy her life still. My family has not fully accepted the relationship yet. Why can’t people just watch their business. She is happy with me and i am happy with her and that’s all that matters. I don’t even look 33. My age is always guessed at 28. I am adventurous, fun, outgoing etc.

Engaged to 20 year old / February 13th, 2010, 12:28 pm / #

hey jarreduk!
i cannot tell u how much it mkes me smile to read wt u wrote… trust me we ave both used the word soul mate… all the time it feels very rite like nuthing else !! but in my realtionship there are other problems.. lets just say hes not seprated from his wife// but b4 u judge either of us.. trust me i am not the kind of girl on jeremy kyle hu says ” but he loves me”… seriously this is love but there are complications with his daughter and her finaical needs if he leaves his wife … does dis mke sense… i also must point out that this whole relationship is against my morals,, hw uve been brought up i suppose,,, but u cnt help hu u fall in love wiv.. u n i both no dat rite??? i so want to go public.. scream it from the rooftops hw happy i am i ave found the man of my dreams.. he is willing to leave his wife at my word.. bt my education n family come into things… i am in the shoes of ure 19 yr old girlfirend, n trsut me we r not “after ure money” or any other ridiculaous coment ppl mke dese days.. but i am sure u no dat neways… wt do we do??? i reli fort no boday out there is in the same position as us.. unlike u we cannot tlk or email or da time becoz f his other half.. i cannot tell u how much it breajks my heart wen i c dem 2gether.. but they havea brother n sister relationship,.. trust me i am not folled or naive i no :) x best wishes 2 u xxxxxxx

linda / February 13th, 2010, 5:46 pm / #

o n honestly ure not nuts.. deres a 27 yr old age gap bewteen us.. he is my parents age 2 !!!! .. it seems wrong but the bottom line is it is love.. n he has 2 boys 2 older than me… write bk plzx

linda / February 13th, 2010, 5:48 pm / #

Ive been looking for an article like this. Im 22 and I met this girl like last july. she told me she was 20 well a few weeks later she revealed to me that she was 17. I was like wow. story doesnt end there. she tells me today that she is really 16!! haha yea it came to a suprise to me. both of our birthdays will be next month actually mine is april 3 hers is on the 9th so i’ll be 23 and shell be 17. I honestly can say that i’m in love with her, and it doesnt bothered me that she is 16 or she lied to me about it. I fell in love with her not her age. I was kinda scared how people would react but after coming here i see people dating 10, 20 even 30 yrs their senior and it doesn’t seem to bother them. 6 years aint really that serious but sometimes I do feel like shes a little girl, but thats cuz I think about her being 16 even. when she told me she was 20 I totally believed it because she seemed so mature. I don’t know.. any advice?? oh and btw this girl lives in Miami and I live in NYC so yea some help lol

J / February 16th, 2010, 4:40 pm / #

I’m 36 yr old woman… in love with a 20 yr old man. Wasn’t looking, just happened. We’re like 2 peas in a pod, he’s spiritual, intelligent, been through more life experiences than most his age. We have the same fears : like our friends may not approve or what if our feelings change, but we talk about it and if it feels right to us, so we are going to go for it!

MsYa / February 19th, 2010, 3:10 pm / #

I have been looking for this article… I’ m18 and in college.. this guy im talking too is 29.. He’s real fun and cool.. and i don’t thinkk our age gap will be a difference.. However, my parents said that i will find someone in college, and that may be true, however, i really like this guy and don’t want to sneak behind their back and date him.. my sister did the same thing.. and yeah.. but i like older guys.. im mature and i have my head on pretty straight!

Sa'Wayla Murphy / February 20th, 2010, 4:51 am / #

I’m 18 and my love is 45, he dosn’t act it tho he has 2 kids not by me 3 and 5 and we all are doing just fine, I believe age is just a number! :)

Emma / February 20th, 2010, 4:32 pm / #

I don’t care about age difference..it’s only a number the most important is the connection and the commitment to each other. The loyalty and trust and the love which you shared unconditionally. I’m in love right now..and his 31 years older than me.im just 21, but it doesn’t bother me. I love him, and he understand me and i to him. Society has no interest in you they only want to destroy you so why bother of listening to them?. they are just wicked and jealous of you.

marianne / February 21st, 2010, 10:01 pm / #

Im 14, & going out with a 19 year old.. at first i thought it was abit dodgy. but then i got to love him & realised age is really nothing but a number. so never let age get in the way. because you will regret it. love is more important than age. .♥

Nicole / February 22nd, 2010, 6:17 am / #

I do have to say, you are not the only one attracted to older men. In response to Denise (May 2009) I am seventeen and am very attracted to a teacher I had last year. There is only an 8 year age difference but It doesn’t matter to me. However, it would be unheard of if anyone at school knew. Therefore I keep it quiet. Only my friends know, and some of them are also attracted to older men. As for the extreme age differences, I have an extreme celebrity crush on Alan Rickman (plays Snape in Harry Potter), 64 as of yesterday. That’s a 47 year difference. I can’t help it. He has the voice of a god, classic good looks, and knows how to treat women right.
Also, to respond to your question based on whether or not it has to do with psychological effects. Remember that all through history, women were paired with men typically 20 or more years older than themselves for the primary purpose of bearing children. I’d have to say that we’re simply used to this difference. It’s nothing new to us. In a way, it’s programmed into our genes. And I can’t really complain.

Kate / February 23rd, 2010, 9:23 am / #

i like to think that age difference doesnt matter but i am so frustrated, i need some advice. im nearly 16 and hes nearly 29 ive liked him for quite a while now. we are really good friends but ive fallen for him, he just makes me feel amazing, i look for him eveyday haha. i know age is just a number but im sure my parents wouldnt agree with it but hes soo lovely andd makes me feel good about myself. he doesnt act like hes going to be 29 andd i really want to say something but he could lose his job, i just want to know how he feels but i dont want to ruin what we have at the moment. only a few of my friends who ive told seem okay with it but i know the others dont. sometimes i feel like why cant i find someone my own age andd why do i still love youu but truth is he is AMAZING! ilovehimm <3

C, tbf i love himm / February 24th, 2010, 1:15 am / #

I am 17 & I am dating a 50 years old man. I know it sounds odd but I think i am truly in love with him. He is knowledgeable, gentle and caring. If anyone asks me whether I regret of being with him for the last one year, my answer will be no. Without a doubt, he is the most incredible man, i have ever met, he shows me a way to live with attitude & determination. He supports and encourages me to pursue my dreams. I know our story will not have a happy ending but the moments we have been sharing will be with me until the end of my life. I know he wont be able to read this comment, but if he does. I want to thank him for everything that he gives me. Thank u, Buddy!
When it comes to love, it is just a number; but when it comes to marriage, we should consider both sides, pros and cons. I don’t against that but I understand that we cannot just live for the moment. 5 years from now, we will still be OK, but after that no one knows what will happen. Right? So, to whoever wants to commit with this kind of relationship, u should consider 2 questions: WHat do u want (long term, short term)? Where do u want this relationship goes? ( Love, marrige, kids….)
I wish u the best!

Buddy / February 25th, 2010, 2:13 pm / #

She is older than me, but she is the love of my life.
She is tbe best sweetheart I can ever get in life
No one can/will be able to replace how i feel for her.

VJ / February 28th, 2010, 6:26 am / #

Wow…reading through all these comments really made me smile :) However one thing got me – most of the under 16 year olds all hanve “crushes” or just hang out with the guy they like for the obvious – underage.
This kinda makes me feel stupid as I am 15 and with a guy 22 years older, divorced, no kids. He’s an instructor at a club I go to weekly. Thing is I liked him before I really started talking to him and he’s not particularly youthful looking – infact he looks older than he is, greys hairs coming through – the works!
Anyway, after 2 years of obsession and a typical teenage crush I finally came across his facebook and we got chatting. We got along really well and well…I have a nack for pushing bounderies a lot and he eventually let me hang out round his house. This was bad…really bad…because, we would sit there for hours chatting and just being good friend, but everytime I was with him I’d push a boundry a little further such as asking for a hug or cuddle, without letting my feelings known – I was still too shy for that…
You know when you have those “moments” with people when it feels so right for you to kiss them, well one evening I was round his and we had so many “moments” ’til eventually I said “what are you thinking about?” and he said he’d tell me later, but being persistant I asked again and he said “for a second there I was about to kiss you” – boy was that a dream come true :D ! I didn’t really know how to react, my heart racing, and then I caught sight of the clock and realised I should really be going home.
Then the dreaded car journey home with a little awkwardness added to the atmostphere. Eventually we got to mine and parked roudn the corner – typically it was raining.
So there we were standing in the rain and he was about to hug me, then me being sneaky and all snuck my arms around his waist and under his coat which I think caught him a little by surprise. I told him he should kiss me which was kind of irresponsible :( especially since after he said no maybe another time, but I refused to let go – I really wanted him to kiss me ^_^
Eventually he did, it was short and sweet and VERY cliched, standing in the rain, two people who weren’t allowed to be together intertwined in a brief but passionate moment…
Was probably one of the happiest moments I have ever experienced, after liking someone for 2 years without ever talking to them, leading to talking to them, leading to hanging, leading to cuddling up and eventually to that moment… I was so happy.

Moving on to the problem – its been 4 months since then and I am still as much in love with him as I ever was. Just the stupid thing is, is that last weekend whilst my mum was away, we spent the weekend together for the second time and we went all the way – yes sex.
That is illeagal and was very stupid…and now I am seriosuly starting to think about what this relationship is, where it is going and the risks involved…
The stories too romantic for me to just drop it and my feelings for him are too strong… I care about him so much, maybe a little too much at times.
He’s a gentleman and knows how to respect a girl – unlike most teenage boys, and makes me so happy to finally be with him.
The problem is is that I don’t know where this can go and whether it should get too serious right now, I am still in school and still have a lot of education to go through before I can start to live my life…
Maybe I just need someone to sit me down and drill it into my head that if I truly loved him I’d wait ’til I was 18 so that he wouldn’t suffer if anyone found out…
Comments back would be seriously appreciated as I am seriously stuck as to what I should do… :(

Butterfly / February 28th, 2010, 8:26 am / #

I am 42 and my husband is 25 , we have together for 5 years , we are happy and we love each other.in my point of view it is better fall in love with younger man.age is just a number.I m very happy when I read other women follow theirs hearts and never let the past tradition affect their life. he is lovely sexy and romantic,we are going to have baby very soon!maybe in 4 mounts!

Sahar / February 28th, 2010, 8:29 pm / #

Well im 18 years old and my gf is 35 just about to turn 36, she has 2 kids not by me , though i do want one, but i am in love with her and right now we are doing a long distance relationship which sucks really bad but, we are completly differnt for the most part which is good cuz i dont want someone like me, it lets me see every side to everything, but with the distance thing and she is a very depressed person due to her history which isnt very pretty at all, but i love her to death and right now we are going through a tuff time because i am far away finishing high school so i can go to college where she lives so there is 16-17 years between us but i love her to death , but she feels that she is not the best for me due to the age difference and her kids but i lover her and she isnt holding me back and i love her kids to death so im just really confused on what to do to save my relationship :( please write back

Chris / March 2nd, 2010, 12:17 am / #

All you people are sick, age doesn’t matter? (particularly underage) who the hell put that in your head. Age is everything! Think of the time difference’s and the experience the older people went through, they know how to lie and manipulate you because they’ve made up more lies to get out of situations than you can ever imagine. Can you say pedophilia?

eric / March 4th, 2010, 2:45 pm / #

I AM IN A SITUATION WHERE THE GUY THAT LIKES ME IS 27 YEARS OLDER THAN ME. I AM 40. I DO HAVE STRONG FEELSING FOR HIM AND HE SAYS HE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF ME. I JUST CANT GET PAST THE AGE DIFF. I KEEP PUSHING HIM AWAY AND I DONT NOW HOW TO JUST ACCEPT IT.
THIS IS THE TOUGHEST THING I HAVE BEEN THRU.

christine / March 8th, 2010, 4:42 am / #

Age is NOT just a number. Its called legal issues idiots

amanda / March 9th, 2010, 8:03 am / #

Hello all… let me start off by saying I too thought nothing of age when I feel in love with a man who was 20 and I was 33 now almost 5 yrs later… things have been great and we are now 25 and 38… we have talked of marriage and children and he told me he loved me enough not to have kids or worry about it… but as we all know things change and people change and lets just say… he is confused and not sure where he is going or what he wants… I had my tubes tied and have been willing to have them updone and start a family and move forward and get married but he says he is still not ready but he may want them in the future … but in the next 5 yrs when I am 43 my body may not beable to nor do I think I would want to be a mom at 43!!!! my heart is broken as I have loved him and given him everyting but now he is older and looking at life and I know I will not beable to give him a family, I guess for me I am hurt because I do have children whom he has been a part of and he says Im his everything and wants to grow old with me and can see us getting married but he needs time to think…. to really figure out what he wants… we have tottaly different work schedules and dont spend alot of time together, but I guess I know that outcome… I cant give him what his heart desires and it hurts… age does and will play a role on things, so If you an older women with a youger man all I can say is becareful!!! I think in the end you will loose your heart and end up getting hurt.. I wish you all the best .. guard your heart…. God Bless

MM / March 10th, 2010, 9:58 am / #

I’m so glad I found this. I’m 18 and the man I’m currently interested in (not yet in a relationship with) is 31. My mother knows we’re friends and she has a huge fear we will begin to date. It’s come down to her threatening to kick me out if I see him. I see nothing wrong with us being together. I find him to be so much more mature than guys I’ve been with before. I’m turning 19 in less than a month and I refuse to allow my mom, dad, family, friends, or even strangers to tell me that this is wrong. I care about him so much and I really do hope we stay together. I think one fear my mother has is that he’s at a different point in his life than where I am in mine. If she’d allow me to talk to her about him more, I think she’d realize how great of a guy he is for me. Right now, the most important thing to him is his career. I like that he’s passionate about something, while it does pull us further apart. We do not live in the same town and when he’s busy with work, not talking can get hard (for me at least). But when we can, we meet up and spend time together. I really don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m happy.

Sabrina / March 11th, 2010, 11:58 am / #

i dont think that age matters its just a number if you love him or her then you should go for it

nina / March 12th, 2010, 12:45 am / #

im 17 dating a 31 year old man.
we are very much so in love.
only problem is my family is very against this.
weve been together for 7 months and its hard to see each other these days because of my family.
but were working through it.
age doesnt matter to us.

casey / March 12th, 2010, 4:10 am / #

i am 26 i have 2 kids and going through a divorce at the moment i met a guy whom i have fallen in love with so hard and he is 20. we have spent so much time together up until he had to move to go to college, we talked about it all front and back, i decided to just break it off since he is gonna be 8hrs away from me and in college, everything crosses your mind. but some how neither of us could do it. no one really know about us just immediate family and friends. which i think the age difference is not that bad but his family is kinda iffy about it since he is young and has no kids but he adores my kids and treats them as if they are his own…. we seriously could care less about what anyone has to say. i have come across so many men but i have never met anyonelike him, he is so mature when it comes to any issue that arrise when he comes home we plan to have a baby and move forward with our lives if someone has and issue they can just get on here and voice there opinion!!! when your in love nothing else matters…..

inlove / March 17th, 2010, 2:37 pm / #

i think i can top most of you by saying im 21 and my man is about to turn 58. i love him with all my heart and age isnt something im worried about

Bryana / March 22nd, 2010, 7:04 pm / #

YOU ARE COMPLETELEY WRONG, OLD MEN ON YOUNG WOMEN THAT IS DISCUSTING! YOU ARE A CRAZY HOE FUCK YA BITCHES PEACE THE FUCK OUT.!

crazy hoe / March 24th, 2010, 2:28 am / #

I am 21. My boyfriend is an ex-con and is 46. And to get it out of the way, he was never in prison for molestation or any related sexual offenses. He is not perfect, and neither am I. But the best part about it, we are compatible crazies. He has strong animal instincts and is street wise. I am what would one would call txt book smart. I do not always have “common” sense, but I could give you answers to equations or computer malfunctions, etc.
He treats me better than anyone ever has and always opens doors for me. :) We have been together for 1 1/2 yrs. It always feels like we just started. He also loves my daughter. He’s the one that wakes up with her so I can sleep in.
Anyways, we match on any lvl that you can think of. I love to listen to his point of view, because it’s not like every Tom, Dick and Harry walking down the street. We have taught each other so much in such a little time.
He is old enough to be my father. And, just to piss people off, I make out with him. The bottom line? I am happy. That is what life is about. Why do I care what some random person that I will never see again thinks or has to say? The only person that I have to please is myself. So fuck all of the naysayers. I am soo much happier than any of those miserable robots will ever dream to be. I will be damned if I base my life off of someone that merely settles with a person that they have nothing in common with, can’t stand, or let’s their significant other beat or otherwise control them.

Anonymous / March 27th, 2010, 1:51 am / #

Hate to break the skies here, but I’m 22, and I have feelings for a 62 year old woman.

-Acknowledge

Acknowledge / March 28th, 2010, 9:51 am / #

I am a 37 year old woman who accidently fell in love with a man 10 years younger. Unfortunately for me, he told me in the distant future, he doesn’t see our relationship working because of our ages and distance, etc, so he won’t verbally commit. Nonetheless, he drives 6+ hours, to see me almost every weekend, and we have a lot of fun together. We’ve been in this “non-relationship for 9 months. Now that I am older, I realize that age is just a number. I only hope he figures it out before it is too late. So, I guess I’ll just enjoy the ride until it’s over. Then I’ll cry, heal and move on! :)

Nicolodian / March 29th, 2010, 8:40 am / #

I have been in both positions. I lived with a man 17 years older than me when I was 38 and was madly in love with him – sadly our differences got bigger and we split. I am now 51 with a 32 year old boyfriend and again it started very passionate but we do have different agendas, he has a 2 year old daughter while I have grandchildren, but they do play together.

All I can say to anyone is enjoy it while it lasts – age gap relationships are often crazily romantic but if it doesn’t grow there is a danger that issues such as children and money will raise there heads and cause serious damage in the long run. Life is too short to have regrets though so we have to follow our heart.

sally / April 1st, 2010, 5:13 am / #

I’m probably the one with the biggest age difference here. I fell in love with a man I work with and he fell in love with me. I am 21 and he is 59. That’s 38 years difference and we ARE SO IN LOVE!

Jessica / April 1st, 2010, 8:02 am / #

I AM 44 YRS OLD AND ” DADDY” IS 61. WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER NOW FOR ALMOST A YEAR. IN MAY IT’LL BE A YEAR. I LEFT A DEAD BEAT HUSBAND, FOR DADDY. THE BEST THING I’VE DONE IN MY ADULT LIFE. I DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING, AND IT’S BECAUSE OF HIM THAT I DON’T. HE’S GREAT. HAD SOMEONE TOLD ME 5 YEARS AGO THAT I’D BE IN LOVE AND LOVING A MAN 17YRS MY SENIOR, I’D HAVE CURSED THEM LIKE A SOLDIER. I REMEMBER BEING A YOUNG GIRL AND HATING FOR MY UNCLES TO EVEN HUG ME WHEN THEY CAME OVER TO VISIT MY PARENTS. I COULDN’T STAND BEING TOUCHED BY OLDER PEOPLE. NOW, I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF BEING CARESSED, HUGGED, KISSED, AND WHATEVER ELSE HE FEELS LIKE DOING TO ME. BECAUSE TO ME HE’S NOT JUST SOME OLD MAN. HE’S DADDY, HE’S MR. RIGHT, HE’S THE BEST. AND THE LOVE MAKING IS TOTALLY OFF THE CHAIN. NO VIAGRA, NO VITAMINS, NO MEDS, JUST STRAIGHT UP MAN. AND HE’S PACKING LIKE YOU WOULD’NT BELIEVE. (SMILE) I’D SAY I HIT THE JACKPOT. HE’S A VETERAN, WITH AN HONORABLE DISCHARGE, AND LOVES HIM SOME CUPCAKE. THAT’S WHAT HE CALLS ME. AND CUPCAKE LOVES HER SOME DADDY. AND I TELL ANYMAN THAT TRIES TO HOLLA AT ME. I’M PROTECTED BY THE UNITED STATES ARMY, HE’S A SARGEANT, AND A SPECIALIST WITH MEDALS FOR SHARPSHOOTING, AND HANDLING THE BIG, BIG, GUNS SO DON’T MESS WITH DADDY’S CUPCAKE

CUPCAKE / April 1st, 2010, 8:44 am / #

i dont see the big deal in age difference. i am 14, and my boyfriend is 18. when we get older if we are still together [i hope], i will be 20, and him 24; then it will seem more acceptible. i dont get why its such a big deal when ur younger. people also do not believe people under 18 can fall in love. times are changing, they should get with the program :) but yeah, i dont see why age is such a big factor. its what your heart wants in the end, isnt it?

Anonymous / April 1st, 2010, 11:20 pm / #

I never thought I would be a part of this sort of discussion but here I am.

I met a woman, online who is 22 years my junior. I was not seeking any relationship and we became frequent email and chat pals. As the months, then years moved on, we began to ponder a relationship. It became apparent that we were comfortable with discussing any topic and realized a baseline respect for each other which came without effort. Yes, the age difference was a subject that we explored even after we mutually agreed had no merit in what we wanted. With past relationships, I never found the freedom to express myself or to be made to feel the importance I feel with her and I believed there was not much that I could learn. We have a fair and balanced respect and approach. We have monumental hopes and plans but we don’t feel the urge to fast track anything. To us, this is a one of a kind lovefest. The good thing about it is how we are accepted, not that it would have made a real difference. I have found that for which I have searched and I believe that she feels much the same. So what (she says) if there comes a time when she’ll have to adjust my oxygen flow. It’s the best hug I ever had.

Second Hand Man / April 3rd, 2010, 2:21 am / #

I have read most of thes comments and have found not many have been the other way round i am 20 goin on 21 man and have started seeing a 31yr young women. and so far great i feel an experriance in life but to complicate things i am also seeing a younger girl my age 19 . I have fallin more for the older lady what should i do.

Anonymous / April 5th, 2010, 1:18 am / #

In all the ways that a couple can be compatible age is pretty low on my list. Relationships involve a lot of pieces, caring about the other person, attraction, time spent together. Maturity level, shared interests and priorities are all important- a lot of love isn’t enough to make up for disconnects in those areas. Still, a significant age gap (generally considered more than 8-10 yrs if both are adults) is going to have issues that other relationships don’t.

The first and only love of my life is 35 years older than me and good for me in every way. I won’t lie and claim that I never wished he was 20, even 10 years younger but I will gladly take the decades I can get. In some ways we are blessed, because we have been made so much stronger by the unconventionality of our relationship, and we never take our time together for granted.

Some helpful quotes, for busybodies:

“I’m sorry you have not meet enough strong women to believe a smart girl like me could have an equal relationship with a successful older man.”

“Thank you for thinking our relationship will last long enough to get to the point where we are concerned about fertility/widowhood/retirement.”

“Is it like being married to your father?” ~ “Your husband is the same age as your brother, is it like being married to your brother?”

Penelope / April 5th, 2010, 5:24 am / #

I’m 22 and seeing a 51 year old. I’m worried about that he’ll get too old and then one day will die long before me. I wanted to know what other people think, who have a ~30 year difference relationship, on is it worth it or should I let him go??

Becky / April 6th, 2010, 11:11 pm / #

To all those who are screaming “Pedophilia”; this article is not about having sex with a minor. If that was the first thought that came to your mind then maybe it is you who need to see a ‘head Doctor’. This is an article about people of varied ages having a relationship. If you want to discuss the proper age of consent start your own article. Please don’t criticize others for their relationships just because there is an age difference. If illegality is an issue let the local authorities deal with it. There are too many opinionated people in this world whose opinions are driven by what society has told them. A century ago the marriage of a young lady of 14,15,16,17 years to a man 15 years her senior would not have even turned a head. Even Mary was thought to have only been of age 12 to 15 when she bore Jesus. Come on, if God thought it wise for a girl that young to have a child why should we feel any different. There are countries, not as society driven as the US or other countries, who still maintain the age of consent at 12. Are you going to tell me that everyone in that country is a pedophile because it is allowed? I hope not. Try to think about whether your opinion is really your opinion or society’s opinion before you give it. Well, enough about that.
It is MY opinion that relationships of any age gap are possible. In every relationship someone will mature faster, slow down sooner, get frail earlier, loose their mind first, but you just have to decide early in your relationship that once that ‘loving feeling’ wears off that you are going to choose to continue to support, nurture, be true to, and Love your spouse. Falling in love with someone may not be a choice, but yes, continuing to love is a choice. Just remember, once you’re married never stop dating each other. Good luck to all of you. For the best relationship possible; get to know Jesus Christ as your Savior and then live by his standard and all will be well.

Justaman / April 7th, 2010, 7:27 am / #

It’s hard to believe that people are so judgmental where age is concerned. But, I suppose it’s like anything else-if it deviates from the norm, a lot of people are threatened by it. As long as two people are of legal age, it should be of no concern to anyone else. When I first started dating my guy, he was 40 and I was 20. You better believe people were gossiping about the two of us. He was concerned about the age difference, but I was not. Never have been. His main concern was about how I would “grow up” and “change” over the years. He didn’t want to infringe on that. I told him “Of course I’m going to change. We will also evolve in our relationship. That‘s what people do. And I fully intend on growing with you”. I knew I had found a wonderful man and that I loved him. A lot of younger women like myself talk about *most* older men being more mature and settled and many have always been attracted to older guys. This would explain my feelings exactly. I don’t relate well to men my age (or younger). Many of my friends are older and it seems like it’s always been that way. My best friend at 13 was a 70-something neighbor of mine. At 15, my best friend was 30. I currently have several friends in their 40’s and a few in their 50’s. I’ve certainly been called an “old soul” before. But, I digress. We will be hitting the 5 year mark this month. And I am still incredibly in love with him, as he is with me. Our relationship only seems to get better-and stronger. We’ve been there for one another through some very rough times-two years ago he buried his father and this past year I had to bury mine. I can’t speak for him, but I know that without him I couldn’t have gotten through that terrible time. I can confidently say that he is the most important person in my life. Anyone who condemns our relationship based on some arbitrary number can take that condemnation shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.

BLL / April 8th, 2010, 11:46 pm / #

Im dating my man which is 15years diff…wow..its amazing.We both need to go through many thing together but it doesn’t matter at all.Because life’s short you will never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow.So…just LOVE :)

baby-S / April 10th, 2010, 1:23 am / #

I think, the most surprising thing that I have discovered from dating an older man (I’m 26 and he is 60) is how mean people can be to perfect strangers. And its amazing to me that they can feel so justified in their ugly comments. What I really want to know is why the “sugar daddy” stereotype is so prevalent in society — why on earth are some people just pre-programmed to think the worst about a couple with a difference in years? Maybe it’s just the people I know, but out of the many age-gap couples I’ve spoken with online or met in person, money, power, lust doesn’t enter into the equation — love, respect and genuine regard for one another do.

spiral2010 / April 13th, 2010, 11:37 am / #

Hello everyone, I hope everyone is great!

Straight to the point.

I am 19 year old guy and my experiences with older women have been great. I’ve dated women much older then me who are 47, 40, 35 and 30. The 47 and the 40 year old women the relationship was like having friends with benefits. It was a relationship basically for sex and also someone to make you feel important.
I was with the 47 year old women for 6 months and then I one I decided stop seeing. Days later I jumped into another friends with benefits/relationship with the 40 year old women.
It only lasted until her 18 year old daughter tried getting involved.
And then I jumped again but this time I moved in with the 30 older women and it became more of a serious relationship.
At the same time I met the 35 year old women and I was cheating with her for 4 months.

Why did I cheat on my girlfriend?

Previous to all of my actions with these women I fell deeply in love with a woman who is 45 it was like magic.
I really never the felt so lucky and so happy from the things she said, her smooth skin, and hearing her laugh covered me with Goosebumps everywhere.
My feelings for her develop fast like a lighting bolt stroke my whole body ten million times.
I didn’t care about what happen in past or what people think and said to me… I love her.
It ended, just like the way it started with a lighting storm. She ended it and just wanted to be friends because she thought she was ripping me off. Things didn’t feel the same after we broke up, but I’m happy that gotten her to believe in love again and that there are nice guys out there.

All the older women I’ve dated theirs something about them that remind me of the first woman I love. Every night when my girlfriend is sleeping. Next to her I cry and s couple tears come down my face and I imagine of finding that pure love.

I am still in love with the 45 older women and been writing poems emailing them everyday for 2 months to her.
She hasn’t gotten back and I’m not really sure what to do but I know I want to be with her and only her.

Does anyone have some advice or options please share me your thoughts.
Thank you

Shawn / April 14th, 2010, 12:21 am / #

i am 30 years old my girl friend is 18 years old she loves me too much and we love each other and we are happy.

adnan / April 14th, 2010, 6:09 pm / #

I am 18 and have found my soul mate! hes 30 and the best thing that has ever happened to me! I love him very much! he takes good care of me and my family loves him! ^,^ he helped my mom get my first car for graduation and he said he will support and help me in whatever I chose to do in life! I couldnt be happier! hes sweet, loving protective and damn good looking ^,^ im happy for everyone on this site!

Sk8erKat / April 15th, 2010, 8:58 pm / #

I am 18 years old and have fallen in love with a 38 year old man. We love each other unconditionally. Even though we were born so far apart our whole life has basically been the same and has caused us both such mental problems. So we understand each other. We are so much in love but my family looks down on him because of the age difference. They don’t understand that our love is true and God brought us together. hey don’t understand that we have learned how to love together…
But we are working through everything. And God will work everything out that is meant to happen.

Forbiddenlove / April 20th, 2010, 9:15 am / #

Thank you to you all for your candid personal insights and even to the few hyper judgementalist’s who would rather you be an appropriately allocated portion of life’s portfolio in their 5 year plan than a spirit of heart and romance, for they too have contributed to the sifting out of my emotion and understanding in all of this, would that I should have pursued this enlightenment sooner vs later, but such is life, a process, a work in progress thankfully and a gift in grace and growing vs purely winning or loosing like your love life had no more purpose or value but to be akin to the winning contestant on some trivial game show, ” sorry wrong answere ( read age ) ” you loose!

I have let the stigma of judgmental pragmatisit’s steer my mind and side track my heart. As all is clearer in hind sight, it is easy for me to see now. I am 48 and struggling with dating after the demise of a 13 year marriage five years ago. Struggling in that I turn my mind off to woman I am attracted to who are younger in any notable way ( yes my ex was 9 years younger but not genuinely the true reason, family and friends supported the relationship..etc.. ) . I sabotage my interaction with younger woman I find appealing , even though I have been ‘given a chance’ by more than a few. I dated an older woman + 5 of me and she quipped I should better like some one younger but I never pursued nor desired other than her, she was uncomfortable with me and other issues between us so age was not the only scape goat in this. I completely adored this woman (still do) but she kept me at arms distance even though we were very intimate for nearly 2 years. The point of my sharing this now is to tell my self and the world around me that I won’t ruin nor rule out a love be it older or younger again. Finding a true romance and intimacy is too special and unique to begin with, let alone further make it nearly impossible to discover as you cross people off your heart and mind purely for age. So let all be your own best judge in these matters ( statutory laws not to be treaded on of course, there are those boundaries indeed).

Randy / April 21st, 2010, 4:08 pm / #

I am 19, and in a year long reaaltionship with a now thirty year old. in all honesty i am the more mature one due to our different raising. in am in love, feel complete w/ her, but not sure what the future holds. she hasnt expressed being comfortable introducing me as a boy friend, or i vise versa. i consider myself well versed in the sexual nature, and although she is gorgous, i find myself not as satisifed, but haved been giving less attention and wieght to sex. i am also getting ready to consider a big college move and not sure what to do. experiance or advice

j / April 24th, 2010, 5:04 pm / #

Hey guys :) I’m 19, going on 20. I’m really good friends with a guy who just turned 30. We had something last year, he’s just about 10-11 years older than me. I love him very much :)

I do agree completely with this article, but only because it’s quite vague :D im not putting a negative connotation to the word ‘vague’, just saying. When two people venture into a relationship with a large age gap they have to have many things in mind, and in my opinion the priority is maturity which usually primarily comes from experience and personal growth. Compatibility seems like a given factor to be considered in any relationship if it is expected to flourish so i won’t elaborate on that. Age is not just a number. The human brain does physically and chemically go through certain stages of development up to a certain age, which is around eighteen. I know it sounds rigid, but it’s not that rigid, and it is the basis of many laws, for example (not speaking of laws on sexual relations between adults and minors, just general laws, such as voting, drinking, driving etc., in europe for example, to round it up). This of course is very general and does not necessarily determine the particular cognitive, emotional, or maturity-related development of any given individual, hense all these cases of couples with large age gaps flourishing. One thing is for sure: Usually, people of vastly different ages are at different points of self understanding, and usually have different wants and needs. This was more or less covered in the article above, just be wary of going head on into something that may not turn out as perfect as it seemed like it could. Just keep an open mind. Young ‘uns, don’t get head over heels ’cause you might fall on your face, old ‘uns, be gentle, and vice versa, ’cause it works both ways depending on the personalities and circumstances! You get my point ;) I’m not being the pessimist here, just the realist ;)

For the record, I’m in love with this guy, and have been through quite a lot in my life, i know that if i were to try and have a steady relationship with him it would have good chances of being healthy, stable and awesome, and i would be ecstatic to have his kids in five years or so ;P

xx

anonymusmetalhead / April 27th, 2010, 9:37 pm / #

Women…be wary. Especially the ones who aren’t women, I’m talking about the girls who are 21 years and under. A man liking you is like going after a freshly bloomed blade of grass. Your purity, and innocense. The way a child is suppose to be like. I don’t even know what the heck a 14 year old girl is doing with a 30 year old man? Pediphile? I am a 22 year old woman. I’ve had my fair share of attractions with men older than me when I was younger, but I always knew it was just that: an attraction. Nothing more.

When I was 18-19, I once dated a man who was 6 years older than me. He was domineering, controlling, and liked to think he was always right, maybe he got an ego boost out of this. Point being, he liked to make it out that I didn’t know what I was talking about, and that was when I knew it was time to say it was over, and I left. I wasn’t going to get treated like I had no voice, No.

Point being, there is a certain maturity which happens around 21 years old that is different than when you are 18 and younger. Know your limits and rights, be sure that what you are doing is the right thing to do.

If there is really love, than to heaven, I hope it is a healthy and good love built on mutual respect and honest policy.

Chris / April 29th, 2010, 3:09 pm / #

I am 25 yrs. old and the guy i am seeing is 43. I still worry about the age difference because I was used to dating younger guys. I have to say that he treats me like a princess. He is so easy to talk to and i can tell hem anything and wont judge. We both have old souls but are young at heart. I did not plan on falling for him, but I think about him 24/7 and I think I am in love with him. I know he feels that for me too since he’s told me. When I tell him all the things my last boyfriend put me through, he cannot believe that someone would do that to me because I am such a good hearted person. I feel that he could possibly be the one that I could potentually marry. We talk about it alot and I know will be taken care of for the rest of my life. Older men know how to appreciate women. They also are not affraid to communicate unlike insecure younger men. The only concern I have is for when we get older, I know that he will not live as long as I do so it makes me sad, but at least I am being treated the way that I deserve.

Lina / May 4th, 2010, 1:14 pm / #

As an older woman, “cougar” or however you wish to classify me, I can honestly say that I have always enjoyed dating younger men! And they have enjoyed dating me! If everyone is in agreement, what is the problem? Currently I am seeing someone who is 20 years my junior. This is the largest age disparity that I have been involved in, but so far its great. Yes, there are some issues, but not a lot! We have a lot of the same interests, he keeps me feeling young, he loves the attention, and adoration. I don’t look my age so its not a huge issue. We have not met each others family yet, although he has met both of my kids (near his age) and they like him and he likes them. I have met his friends, and they like me too. So…if you care about someone, why does the age matter?? I’m crazy about him!

Lois / May 7th, 2010, 10:29 pm / #

I’m 18 years old, soon to be 19, and my man just turned 35. We’ve been together nearly two years and we clicked from the very beginning. It definitely hasn’t been easy for either of us, considering my mom is only 37 and my dad 43. For the entire first year of our relationship when I was only 17, my parents claimed to HATE him. They tried getting the law involved, restraining orders, threats, anything they could do to keep us apart, and for the first year we rarely got to see each other but we talked on the phone for hours a day and saw each other when it was possible. It was a very rough year, but we knew we were in love and weren’t about to let anyone stop us. So as soon as I turned 18, I moved in with him and we’ve been happier than ever. And now, almost a year later, my parents seem to love him. They respect us being together, and even trust us enough to babysit my brother and sister together, which by the way my siblings adore him! I was a little afraid at first to introduce him to the rest of my family, seeing as how my parents reacted, but now he’s met quite alot of my family and it’s been smooth sailing and everyone seems to love him. I plan on marrying this man, and my advice to anyone out there worried about other people’s views on an age difference in a relationship: it’s your life, you should know very well if you love this person and if you do, never let anyone else’s opinions destroy your relationship. This world needs all the love it can hold, and if you love someone, love them forever. Age is only a number. Love is everything.

Tabitha / May 7th, 2010, 11:14 pm / #

i also dont think age matter. we have been together;for seventeen yersim 40 he is 61.im not getting the attion i need for a women things are realy slowing him down.we argue.a hoooolle lot in front of are kids we also get to the poin where we start hurting each other feelings by say things to each other about things we dont like about each other and realy it realy hurt when that was not sapose to be said and then its always im sorry

andrea / May 9th, 2010, 1:01 pm / #

I am a 18 year old girl who recently met a 30 year old man on the internet, through a social networking site. We did not know each other’s age when we met, and our feelings for each other developed. When we both found out, it was a bit of a shock, but then I realised that he did not even look his age and he is everything I have ever wanted. He is younger than his actual age, and I am older than my age, so we match perfectly. He is very talented and working towards his career. He has never married or had children, and I guess some people start their life a little later than others. As for settling down, I feel I want to settle down too. I am only young, but I have had many experiences with men and want to have a serious relationship. The only barrier at the moment is the distance, but we have decided to start writing to each other. I can’t wait to meet him in person, and be with him. My parents were concerned, but I am willing to fight for this. Age definately is just a number.

Emilie / May 10th, 2010, 9:20 am / #

Hi Im tera and Im 17 and I think that I might really like a 24 year old guy. Is that ok?

Tera / May 11th, 2010, 10:32 am / #

Hi
I have always had relationships with older men. When I was 18 I fell in love with a 40 year old. We had 2 superb years together. I then fell in love with a 34 year old when I was 20. I again had almost 3 superb years.
I never have looked at age because it simply is a number. Yes there are times when it can cause conflict but again I think how alike you are and whether you are on the same level.

I am bonding very well with a 51 year old at the moment and I’m 23 so who knows. He would be older than my parents by 5 or 6 years! That doesn’t bother me at all.

Just thought i’d add my experiences on here.

Badger / May 11th, 2010, 10:01 pm / #

I met a man out about 10 months ago whilst having a few drinks with some friends, he was 39 and I am 19, he recently had his 40th birthday, and after 10 months of knowing him I finally realised I was head over heels for him, it was a good job the feelin was mutural! My parents know and are fine with it (although he’s 2 months older than my mum she said she doesn’t mind as long as I’m happy) he also knows how to treat me really well. My ex-boyfriend was 22, and completely obsessed by me, wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him, I had to ask his permission before I went out, and he made me lose contact with all my male friends. The guy I’m seeing now is definantley a keeper, he respects me and makes me feel like I’m the only woman in the world. Anyone that has a problem with it is just jealous.

Zoe / May 13th, 2010, 6:58 pm / #

It’s wonderful to hear all of these stories. I am 20 and have been with my boyfriend of 36 years for a little over 2 years now. He was completely unexpected, and it’s definitely been an adventure with him. I never thought we would have such a connection and enjoy many of the same things. Never have I been treated as well as he treats me. Being with an established, mature, and intelligent man is quite amazing. I feel on top of the world knowing he is in my life, and I appreciate him as a whole. Age will never matter in my book. To all of the people who posted about their significant other, I wish you many years of happiness!

Vanessa / May 14th, 2010, 9:36 am / #

I am a 58 year old man, in an exclusive relationship with a 22 year old worman. This gap is something I used to consider far beyond acceptable. We met online – she approached me – and initially I did have some of the stereotypical reactions – oh, she’s in it for $ (mainly). But the more we talked on the phone, the more I believed our attraction was more genuine. So, I decided to go with it. It’s been incredibly great. I look/act/feel way younger than my age. She is a perfect combination of older-than-her age maturity and impulsive immaturity. Sure there are some issues with her being less independent than she should be, and she is working on that, but we’ve decided to go ahead with it. I’ve talked with my oldest kids about it and they are OK, but i still haven’t been able to talk to my youngest daughter (2 years older than my gf). The more time goes by, the less concerned I am about anyone’s reaction. If I sound conflicted it is true I am, but that stems from other issues, and has nothing to do with the age gap. Someone else mentioned sexual compatibility. And I can tell you, it is so nice to find someone who can keep up with me.

Greg / May 17th, 2010, 7:14 am / #

I guess I’m a serial grave robber. I am 20 and recently got out of a relationship w/ a 47 year old man, we were together for 2 years- and I thought it was the age difference that drove us apart. However now I am involved with a 41 (not on purpose- I thought he was 28) and I see that the most important thing is lifestyle. My last guy went to work, came home, and watched television- not the life for me. This one is active, fun, and always on the go- and all the social fears concerning age that plagued me before are absolutely nonexistent now. Age is a factor, and I’m not going to lie to myself about that, but if it’s right then I’m not going to worry about what other people think, I’m not going to dread the future- that’s not what comes naturally now.

Amy / May 18th, 2010, 12:33 pm / #

Im 27 years old and my boyfrien is 46 years old. We have a 3 year relationship i love him so much but i’m embarrased to bring him home and take him out with my friends. He has being really patient with me but i don’t know what to do. I love him and i dont want to lose him but i don’t want to give my family a hard time and i care a lot what people thinks. I never in my life have had a long beautiful relationship. Sometimes i feel to let him go but all the things that he have done for me make go back to him. I know i never ever going to find someone like him that loves me and treats me like a queen. I just need time to let know my family.

Kashmire / May 19th, 2010, 12:42 am / #

I’m 15, & My boyfriend is 20. And, this is the best relationship ever. We are very careful and promised to each other that we wouldn’t have sex until I’m 18. & He’s the most sweetest, Caring, Protective guy ever. He respects me, He is an overall amazing guy.

5 years isn’t that much of a age difference. (:
Just be careful with who you pick. :3
My guy just happened to be the most perfect boyfriend ever, He risks everyday going to jail just to be with me. He tells people in public. He’s respectful. I was his first girlfriend, Kiss, and the first girl he gave a ring(promise ring) too, Best guy ever. (:

Ashley / May 19th, 2010, 2:39 am / #

I am near 27 years old and been in love with a girl who’s 10 younger than me…she moved to Tennessee and is coming back over the summer. We want to get together, but her dad doesn’t like the idea of her dating someone 10 years older than her. But in the state that I live in (that she’s moving back to) laws say “that 16 and over have rights of their own as to dating”….on top of that her dad’s going back to Tennessee shortly after bringing her back. We’ve always seen age as nothing more than a number….and no matter what she wants to be with me. . . .she’s just worried about her dad getting me in trouble. I don’t honestly see how he can as long as there’s “no sex involved” while we’re dating.

T.S. / May 20th, 2010, 11:24 am / #

I think I win the age difference game. I just turned 60 and my girl freind ( used to work for me ) is no 22, 38 years difference. I am also a grand parent and have 3 children oldest being 35. I have three grand children. I must say we are both in love and have so many simlar interest. I must say we are both aware of our age difference and do talk about 10 and 20 years down the road. Her broken family accepts me fine. I am from a more traditional family that doesn’t accept at all. I divorced my wife of 37 years for her. Her freinds don’t accept us and thinks she is using me. Age is a number and at times it is not. All I know I’ve never been happier. We do most every thing together, camping, traveling, enjoying nature together outside of the social enviorment. I find at times the maturity level does make a difference. We work at our relationship constantly, but I think thats what makes it work. We have been living together for 2 years. I look much younger that my age. I laugh when we are in public together and tell her people just think your my daughter. I feel young again and have never been happier. I live for today. Tomorrow may be different and I am prepared if that happens too.

Tip / May 23rd, 2010, 11:21 pm / #

I loved reading the stories above, and would love to know what everyone thinks about my situation? I’m a female who has just turned 19, and like a guy who is soon to be 17. I know he’s younger, but is this acceptable for his age?

Sparkle / May 24th, 2010, 4:45 am / #

i fell the same way im 16 my bf is 21 but we are in love so age is just a number

paige / May 27th, 2010, 9:59 pm / #

Hey everyone.
Straight to the point I am dating a 30year old woman and I am 19 years old I really don’t want a relationship because I’m in college and I’m trying to focus on my work, but when i’m with her its like magic. I do think about her age difference. but I really don’t care she always says im going to leave her for a younger woman. What Should I Do? end it now or just wait till summer ends.? plus I was in a 1year relationship with my ex and after that I told myself I wouldn’t get into a relationship anymore for awhile until I finish all my college work because to me really having a girlfriend is a distraction and takes away from your time to put it together with somebody else. any advice helps.

jerry / May 28th, 2010, 12:56 pm / #

Its really nice to read of other people in similar situations and everything that works, or doesn’t work, for them in their relationship with a much older or younger partner. I am a 46 yr old male and have been in a relationship with a 20 yr old young woman for just over two years – she is the absolute perfect match for me and, according to her unless she’s just being nice, I for her. I could not be happier nor could she…our soul-ages are spot on.
Yes, we have our challenges but so does everyone, age-spread or not. The heart knows no reasons…only that it loves.

Mark / May 28th, 2010, 4:27 pm / #

Hey. I’m 26 and my new man is 43, just couple of years younger than my mother. I know she will not approve but I think we can really be happy together. We have worked together for about 3 years and we spent time together about 2 years ago. t was brief and didn’t get serious for me due to our age difference amongst other things. He’s recently let me in on the feelings he had for me back then and I haven’t been able to get him off of my mind. We’re going to give it a go. I’m really excited about what’s to come and my family will just have to accept that I’m in it to make me happy not them.

Anonymous / May 29th, 2010, 9:26 am / #

I was with someone for 2.5 years. He was 24 years older than I. We got together when I was 17. I thought he was someone completely different – he had a work persona that was completely fake.

Dispite being so much older, I felt that his maturity level was that of an 8-year-old. He refused to have kids after 50, and I refused to be stopped at 26. He liked booze and bachelor life, I didn’t like either. After fighting for over a year, I walked away because that wasn’t what I wanted in my life. And, sadly, he still asks me to come back.

Yes, age is just a number… but maturity is very real, and should be cafefully considered.

Dee / May 31st, 2010, 12:44 pm / #

my sister used to work for this family that has a son who is mentally challenged. the mother and father ended up getting a divorce a year and a half ago. we have known this family for about 7 years and have remained close to the father of this boy. he also has a daughter whom we adore. the situation at hand is the last few months i have fallen for this man. he is 43 and i will be 23 this month. we have been spending a lot of time together and it is wonderful, i believe the feeling is mutual between us. i decided i couldn’t keep it from my parents and told them the other day. my father will not allow me to see him anymore. i can’t go against him because he will beat the living hell out of this guy…. i need help. i don’t know what to do, why should i not be able to make my own choice?

leah / June 2nd, 2010, 3:50 pm / #

I’m about to turn 19, and my boyfriend recently turned 31. I see age as a number but my parents see it as a huge thing and I have been forced to lie to them saying that we’re just friends now because of everything. I’m not even allowed to go see him anymore unless I want to be kicked out.

Once they said age was just a number but they changed their minds.

Aly / June 4th, 2010, 12:20 am / #

Im 15, and the guy♥ i am falling for is twenty:/ He is my neighbor, and we talk all the time, his sister is my bestfran, but she knows i kinda like him, but i dont want ha to feel im useing ha to get to him, cuhz i love ha more than him, well…i want him to know i like him but idk…

Google.Girll♥ / June 6th, 2010, 6:30 am / #

hello my name is archie and i am 75 and my girlfriend just turned 18. i love her very much and i do believe that age is just a number when it comes to love. she has lost her friends for me and i know she sits on her own at college because everyone thinks she is a freak.But our relationship is booming :)

Archie / June 16th, 2010, 6:41 pm / #

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