Article

Why I Hate Porn

The New American Webster Dictionary defines pornography as obscene art, writings, etc. Pornography is defined as something obscene, yet it is a billion dollar business. In 2006, the porn industry brought in over 13 billion dollars in revenue. Statistics further show that every 39 minutes there is a new pornographic video being created in the United States and there are 4.2 million pornographic websites available on the Internet. How can something so obscene capture the attention of so many? The answer is that porn appeals to our imaginations.

Pornography is not reality, it is fantasy. Porn is comprised of sexually stimulating imagery and fantasy elements. It provides an individual with immediate sexual gratification. If not careful, this desire for sexual gratification can lead to addiction. This addiction can then cause one’s life and / or career to be in jeopardy. It is not uncommon to hear about individuals being caught checking out porn at work. A career that may have taken years to build is suddenly over. The potential for addiction is just one reason why I don’t like watching porn.

Porn can be further defined as an erotic fantasy. This is similar in nature to a romantic fantasy, but the sex scenes are far more graphic. We have all seen our share of romantic movies. The characters change, but the plot is typically the same. A man and woman meet. They have a chemistry between them. At some point something in the story line keeps them from being together. In the end, they are reunited and live happily ever after. I’m sure we all wish life could be this wonderful, but it’s not. There is a little something called reality that we all must deal with. Adult movies are not reality. They do not depict acts that happen in real life. Porn sells you on the fantasy. People who become addicted to porn, in part, are in love with the fantasy world it creates. This is another reason why I don’t like watching porn.

The porn industry has taken our favorite fantasy characters and used them in sexual ways. This is called erotic fan fiction. Characters are taken from fantasy novels and movies, such as The Lord of the Rings, and put into porn. There is even a sub category of erotic fan fiction called elf porn. I don’t know about you, but I do not want to see my favorite hobbit engaged in some explicit sex act. Yet another reason why I don’t like watching porn.

Some may try to make the argument that porn can improve a married person’s sex life. The opposite is actually true, it can destroy it. Porn creates lustful feelings in people. Lust is defined as being the opposite of love. Watching porn with your spouse may bring immediate pleasure, but it won’t last. Lust makes one crave more. Soon the person will find him or herself looking for more exciting ways to meet his or her sexual needs. The fantasy will eventually take over and the spouse will not be able to meet those new expectations. This will create tension in the bedroom and the marriage will begin to suffer. This is why my husband and I do not like watching porn.
Porn is a billion dollar industry. As long as people crave it, there will be a market for it. An internet search will reveal advertisements for porn fantasy week vacations. These are all inclusive vacations that send travelers to porn sets all around the world with the promise of getting to “work” with the stars. Pornography transports people into fantasy worlds that offer immediate sexual gratification. If not careful, these fantasies can begin to take over one’s life. This can lead to devastating consequences. There is an easy solution, don’t watch it. Porn is not reality and that is why I don’t like watching porn.


Comments (17 comments)

Porn is ruining people lives. I am tired of people acting like its no big deal. It is a big deal. Porn has desensatized people and now sexualy imagry is everywhere. What used to be taboo is now seen as tame. I have seen marrieges ruined by the use of porn. I have heard it all, men at the internet for hours on end downloading porn. Its really sick

dawn / August 18th, 2007, 1:50 pm / #

I love you. whoever you are. for what you are doing. I am sure it will have a great healing effect upon people. all the best.

jayk / November 10th, 2007, 1:41 am / #

ok dawn, are you a woman, i thought so. maybe your views on porn would ruin a marriage, if both partners are ok with it where is the harm. my girl and i love to watch it all the time, and we have a healthy relationship and sex life.

daniel / November 11th, 2007, 5:06 am / #

First of all, “Lust is defined as being the opposite of love” is statement built ENTIRELY on your personal bias. For me, and a LOT of other people who’ve been in relationships, lust and love are quite intertwined. Lust is just as necessary for a realistic relationship as it love.

And secondly, I agree with Daniel. I mean, I’m a girl, and I love watching it with my boyfriend. It sets the mood for us sometimes, [I say SOMETIMES because we don't NEED it to get things started.] And it’s fun. Our relationship is completely healthy. I even don’t mind my boyfriend downloading it and watching it alone. It makes him happy. And good knows, I do it too. So it would be unfair for me to restrict him from doing it.

I get that porn has the ABILITY to idealize their lovers and expect a bit more from them. But not every person is that high up in the clouds; believe it or not, a lot of us have a good grip on reality. When I’m done watching my porn, and go have sex with my boyf I definitely don’t expect him to have the glistening six pack and powdered butt that I just finished staring at. I know what my boyf is and what he can offer me, and I love it. I don’t compare it to porn.

Like you mentioned, people tend to have romantic fantasies. I agree, but if people can learn to distinguish between romantic fantasy romantic reality, then why does it occur as shock to know that a lot of people can also distinguish between carnal fantasy and carnal reality.

Brittany / September 17th, 2008, 11:00 pm / #

I can tell you straight forward that porn itself isn’t the problem although it’s popular to claim it is. Lack of adequate sexual education is the real problem. Kids won’t need to search for porn if they knew where to go to learn about proper sexual habits. Porn or no porn, their bodies will find a way to release that sexual tension, so I find it difficult to agree that they are addicted solely to erotic imagery. Most people can remember their bodies starting to change and become sexually mature. Like many other things during puberty, there’s nothing you can do about it but cope. We don’t teach the kids to cope and they become confused, ashamed, likely to quit school, and seek unhealthy means of ‘fixing the problem.’

Dick Williams / October 12th, 2008, 1:45 am / #

Porn is disgusting. It is sad to think that this is what the world has come to. Sexual union, although obviously physical, should always be on a greater emotional level. These pornstars engage in sexual activity without the emotional restraints and get paid for it! This sets the tone for the viewers to engage in random sex with random partners and makes it seem okay. I think that watching porn and endorsing this behavior is simply wrong. In my mind, lust and sex should go hand in hand with LOVE. However I believe that love is purely emotional and has the ability in its purest state to transcend physicality. Thus, people should not need physical stimulation if their partner is unresponsive or away for some time because their love should be their greatest satisfaction. Porn diminishes this concept of true, spiritual love, and that, I think, is very sad. People have no idea about the greater beauty they are missing because their minds are wrapped around worldly affairs and sexual stimulation. Porn has proven that society has devolved as opposed to evolved, for it is bringing man back to raw carnal instincts rather than harboring advanced intellectual and emotional stimulation. Let’s try to make the world a better place and do away with this offensive industry in our own lives shall we?

Liz / November 15th, 2008, 12:19 am / #

First I must admit that Im 66 yrs old. Just thought I give you an aging man’s perspective on sex and porn and masturbation.
I live with a woman but she is no longer able to have sex-and especially she is no longer interested. So from that perspective as opposed to a young person just starting out, I dont feel porn and masturbation with a sleeve is harmful because Im not affecting anyone else and I am not going to carry out any of those acts!!
It’s like abortion and those who think the termination of an early fetus is so terrible. Well brnging an unwanted child into the world is also terrible !
Likewise porn is not the ideal but it’s better than a lot of alternatives and censorship in this land of freedom would probably only make it more attractive!

berry lee / November 30th, 2008, 12:45 am / #

ok i so agree with this article. having sex like people on porn vidoes can be fun. but when you actually have sex with someone that you truly love and care for than that is the greatest. now days people see sex as some regular thing but they dont know how it really feels to be making love because it invloves more than jst the physical. all you body in involved in it and people should not see sex as just something they can do for fun. its special

somegirl / December 24th, 2008, 3:30 am / #

I disagree with this entirely. I am female, celibate and an artist and I love watching and drawing pornographic images. Love is something that happens in the world between all beings with each other, it makes the world go around. The only reason romantic relationships exist is because of sex, that’s the only reason there are 2 genders. Sex happens all the time regardless of commitment. Love can last a day or a lifetime, and is not dependent on commitment to one individual. Porn helps me deal with my own desires, and I have enjoyed it long before I saw it. People have random sex for reasons that have nothing to do with pornography. People love porn, and people love sex for the sake of sex, and yeah it’s not everything but that is REALITY, and who are you guys to judge what sex is supposed to mean to everybody else.

realityquo / March 2nd, 2009, 9:22 am / #

I totally agree with Liz. The harm it causes to everyone’s life and world is enormous. The majority of people may not agree with me on this one, due to the fact that pornography is so widely spreaded that almost everyone think of it as a normal thing. But it is not.

All people know that it’s fantastic to have someone to love. Everyone know that each one of us should have this opportunity. So why the “actress” on the porn movie that is on the web can’t? Can’t she share her intimate moments with the person she likes the most? It’s sad.

Using porn with your beloved ones is a form of tricking both sides on a relationship. Where is the discovery part that is essential and wonderful on romance and love? And that should be intimate. So WHY do everyone don’t see that the women on those movies WOULDN’T want to share their private moment in public? No, they don’t do that because they like it. No, they don’t do it because of the money. They do it because they are forced. Would you put yourself or the person you love in that situation? Definitely not.

The spiritual values are really getting lost. Just the body matters, just the instantaneous pleasure. Seriously, people need to step out of their own comfort zone. Reality is different than porn movies. Not everyone on every corner is thinking of having sex and sex and sex. How would the World be if it was like that? It’s already a chaos, it would be much worse.

Love is not just sex without fellings. Love eternalizes the trust lovers have. Or at least it should.

Seriously, just take a deep breath and look inside of you. Is that the point of view you want to share with the ones you love and your future generations? Everyone should change. And I am not talking about other people, I am talking about myself too. It’s only a matter of developing a more critical opinion related to information and “data” that pops up everywhere.

TV says it’s perfectly normal to do sex just to relax, even with someone you don’t know. Is the TV God now? Why does it influence us as much as it does? Media says how women should look like, how men should behave, how we should raise our sons. IT’S WRONG.

And no, I’m not a girl that defends other girls, for those who are wondering. I’m a man, and I am glad that I am willing to turn against the flow and choose a life of healthier habits. I just said that because there is this harmful rumor that says only women go against porn, and it’s not true.

Seriously now, should we be alive and making part of this World to think only about sex? I don’t think so.

Laniet / March 6th, 2009, 10:44 am / #

Next time you are watching porn, I want you to fantasize that the woman / man in the movie is someone’s daughter / son, and then fantasize that it is your daughter / son. And see how it feels then.

Would you want your child to act that way, then why do you accept it? Start standing up for Christian values again America.

momofgirls / June 19th, 2009, 12:12 am / #

Sad. I am in a fabvulous marraige for over 10 years. Occassionally my wie and I watch porn together to “spice it up.” No harm…we are both extremely happy and successful. Dont generalize your own hang-up, weaknesses, or relationship failures to others.

J / July 24th, 2009, 1:43 am / #

Well … I’m not a porn actress .. however, I have been in the industry of sex, prostitution, parties, swining … and I can tell you one think. That sort of erotica, soon or later destroyes relationships!

It comes a moment that one person in the relationship is not able any longer to be with their partners with out having the images of another person.

I have seeing it, hear and expirieinced at so many levels that it makes me very sad to think that people has not jet realised the damage that it cause, let it be short or long term adiction, because yes, it does become an addiction of one form or another.

I was a very highly paid prostitute, and I saw the damage that was doing to my clients, their wifes, I have dated people that washed porn, and even I started to look porn at one point. I have offer councelling to porn adicted men. It is really really sad and it has destroyed so many relationships. all because of fantasie which ended not been able to really be with a real woman, with a real body. I have meet too many woman desperate, that if they didn’t put the high heels, and the lengerie their partners would not be able to have a fulle rection and maintain the sexual at with them, and they could only continue or even finished if they imagent they were with someone else. I’It was dificult to get out of the industry but I’m glad, now I just make sure that I do not allowed any sort of porn into my live, it is very simple, no porn enviroment, not even once!!! I have learn that one can not be forgiven in this things, as it is never a happy ending.

nicole / October 28th, 2009, 10:19 pm / #

” Porn creates lustful feelings in people. Lust is defined as being the opposite of love. Watching porn with your spouse may bring immediate pleasure, but it won’t last. Lust makes one crave more. Soon the person will find him or herself looking for more exciting ways to meet his or her sexual needs.” QUTOTED MAIN ARTICLE

Lust is a part of love and should not be denied. Hate is the opposite of love, well certainly in lexical semantics. Having sex with a partner will bring immediate pleasure that is fleeting, regardless of if they watch porn or not.

Sex motivated by love and a desire for intimacy can involve porn without being detrimental to the relationship for a great deal of people. Yes a person may decided their partner no longer can meet their sexual needs, if this is true then surely they should find someone who does rather than continue a relationship that is sexually unfulfilling which will only hurt both partners in the long run.

To quote to Bill Hicks “you know what creates sexual thoughts…..drum roll….having a dick…or you know what you ladies have! “. Porn has been around for thousands of years and I’m sure lustful thoughts existed long before porn.

” Porn has proven that society has devolved as opposed to evolved, for it is bringing man back to raw carnal instincts rather than harboring advanced intellectual and emotional stimulation.” QUOTED FROM POST BY DICK WILLIAMS

here’s porn in ancient rome!
http://www.libidomag.com/nakedbrunch/archive/porninrome.html

“Adult movies are not reality. They do not depict acts that happen in real life. Porn sells you on the fantasy.” QUTOTED MAIN ARTICLE
Not all porn is created equal, want to see two (or more people) having consensual sex as part of a healthy relationship? just watch one of the thousands of videos couples upload. I’ve never had to pay for a single one of them, they show realistic men and women having sex the way they enjoy it. In home video style porn many of the uglier features of commercial porn are avoided.

less pain, I can’t rule this out entirely some people are inconsiderate and their partners tolerant I suppose

less exploitation, ok perhaps one partner might not know the video is on the net but I don’t see that as involving me morally.

less chances to build unrealistic expectations, real people having real sex Not everyone has a six pack, a perfect figure or 13″ penis but that’s life. less unnatural looking splayed positions too.

no silly over acting, well unless one partner decides to fake it but that’s their prerogative I suppose.

Fake homemade porn exists but spotting the difference is pretty easy if you’ve been in a healthy sexual relationship before. I realize that certain porn may give the young an unrealistic view, but proper sexual education can avoid this and allow them to make an informed choice what to do sexually.

” People who become addicted to porn, in part, are in love with the fantasy world it creates. This is another reason why I don’t like watching porn. ” QUTOTED MAIN ARTICLE

” Pornography transports people into fantasy worlds that offer immediate sexual gratification. If not careful, these fantasies can begin to take over one’s life. This can lead to devastating consequences.” QUTOTED MAIN ARTICLE

People can become addicted to a great many things, alcohol, gambling, crime, money, work, overeating; Porn is just one of these, any addiction can be detrimental to a person’s well being. This is the reason I don’t smoke or gamble but I have no moral objection to it.

” I don’t know about you, but I do not want to see my favorite hobbit engaged in some explicit sex act. Yet another reason why I don’t like watching porn.” QUTOTED MAIN ARTICLE

I guess you don’t have a hobbit fetish then, neither do I but some people will have and it would be strange for the porn industry not to cater to their needs. Rule 34 a generally accepted internet rule that states that pornography or sexually related material exists for any conceivable subject.

Gary / December 7th, 2009, 7:57 pm / #

I can’t honestly say I agree with this article.

First of all, it sounds like the author was saying that everything contained in the article was true and if you watch porn at all then the consequences mentioned will definately happen.
On the point of porn becoming an addiction, it is possible but won’t necessarily happen. As an addiction, it only becomes an addiction because of something possibly wrong with the person that is addicted. Same as how many alcoholics use the drink to escape feelings and problems they dont want to face. The people who became addicted had a choice at one point and even as addicts they have the choice to stop and see how it is affecting their lives and take the necessary steps to fix it. They can choose to cope with reality and fix the problems there than hide out in the fantasy world of porn.
Also, yes it is all fantasy and those fantasies will probably never really happen to the people who watch the porn but how many people don’t have their own sexual fantasies out of everyone who does or does not watch porn? Not many. Everyone has some little hidden thing that turns them on. One of mine is being seduced by a tall handsome vampire. Will that fantasy ever happen? No. Does my thinking about it mean that I can’t be happy with my own life and relationships and have to stay within that fantasy every time I want a little sexual gratification? No. Porn is just a means for people to watch their fantasies played out which can sometimes help the less imaginitive. Not every person will have the expectations that every little fantasy has to become reality. If that were true then I would never get my fantasy fulfilled.
I’d like to note that the paragraph about how it affects marriages is contradictory. The first sentence says “porn can help improve a married person’s sex life” and the second says that “it can destroy it”. Notice how both those sentences say “can” and not “will”. It may not seem like there is really any difference but think about it; if something CAN happen, does that mean that it WILL happen? If you ever go out in a lightning storm, then you CAN get hit by lightning. Does that mean you definately will? I don’t think so. The rest of the paragraph was written as if those said “will” which, personally, make me think the author isn’t completely in tune with what they are saying and is therefore less credible for a source of good information.
Now onto the topic of how it affects marriage(or any relationship for that matter). It says porn creates lustful feelings and lust is not love. But how many people who are in loving relationships don’t sometimes have feelings of lustful attraction toward their partner? Sex can be a healthy part of a relationship but what drives the feelings to want to have sex? I’ve asked alot of people this and over 90% said it was either plain out lust or a combination of love(in the form of the closeness and intimacy of the act) and some lust. Porn within a relationship can help drive the feelings of lust to be stronger at times which is a common reason why it is watched by couples. Another reason may be because of an imbalance in the sexual needs of the partners. One may need more sexual contact than the other is either willing to give or able to give. This is not a problem caused by porn however. The people in the relationship aren’t filling needs and porn just takes the place of those needs. If porn is present as a problem, then it is most likely being used as a fix for some other problem in the relationship. That shows a lack of communication and problem management which means the relationship would have probably ended either way. The only time porn creates unrealistic expectations in the bedroom for either partner is if someone decides that the aren’t going to settle for less than what they saw and raises their expectations to unrealistic leels which is completely the fault of the person, not the porn. I will admit that porn may have influenced it, but the person had a choice to raise their expectations same as they did before they saw the porn.
The last paragraph states that “Porn is a billion dollar industry”. Lots of jobs are created by said industry, not only in the form of the people doing the deed but also the camerapeople, makeup, lights, editing, etc. It’s an entertainment industry that helps the economy and by the sound of this article and especially the next to last sentence that says “don’t watch it”, the author wants to kill that industry.

All in all, my point is that porn can be related to problems that happen, but shouldn’t be blamed as the only problem. Alot of times they are just a side effect of sorts to the underlying plague called bad choices. People have a choice in how much porn they watch and where they watch it. They have the choice to solve their problems or use porn as duct tape to hold things together then blame it when it doesn’t last forever same as some use alcohol or drugs. People are to blame but no one wants to admit it.

AJ / January 13th, 2010, 6:51 pm / #

Theres nothing wrong with porn in small amouts, if you go overbored it can be dangerous yes, but it your carefull you don’t get addict, the same idea does not appley to drugs

Alexander / February 3rd, 2010, 5:40 am / #

YOU ARE THE BEST! I WILL NEVER WATCH IT AGAIN! EDIT: I WILL COME BACK NEXT WED. AND i hope i would’ve not done it again. ;) thank you ! you rock! Sharing this with colleagues as you read.

-_- / April 15th, 2010, 2:32 am / #

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