Article

Why You Shouldn’t Take the Next Step with Your Best Friend

We have all had one time or another where we have had a crush on a friend or even a best friend. If you are caught up in the crush and are enjoying the flirting and your friend doesn’t seem to mind, then that is fine. If it is the feel of the chase you love then you might need to mature a bit more in the relationship and love department before you attempt to make a move on your closest friend. This type of situation may lead to massive disappointment for both of you and injure what you have. If you are thinking of disclosing your hearts desire to your best friend and they have never shown you any love signs then you might want to think again. If you are lucky and you know that your best friend feels the same way then this might be an option for you to try, but if there is no reciprocation, flirtation or feelings, then your heart might be in for a let down. Love is such a precious feeling and has to be treasured and respected. It is good to truly sit down and think about why you want to take things further. Ask yourself these questions. Would they be a suitable match for me? Is there a future for us? Am I attracted to my best friend sexually? What are my real reasons? Am I afraid to be alone?

Sometimes it is better to keep a best friend a friend and stay that way. When you cross the line with your best friend, your friendship will be changed forever. Even if you can put what happened or what was said behind you, one of you may end up broken hearted because these feelings brought up were not acknowledged in the end. This can lead to resentment and jealousy in the future and destroy a friendship. Because two friends hang out so much together, the one that is in love or has an attraction begins to see themselves as a couple. This can end up becoming a distorted view and can result in so many painful feelings when the feelings are not returned. Unrequited love is a hard situation to go through and can take a long time to heal from. This is why in some friendships it is best to reconsider before taking the friendship to a new level.

Many people think how wonderful it will be to begin a new love relationship with their best friend. They are around all the time, they trust you, you trust them, their cute enough, they are a good friend..there is no reason not to! But there is something missing though and that is the level of love and passion that happens and sparks between two people when they fall in love. Make sure you really think this one over before making any sudden moves because your choice can result in three different ways. You either are best friends for life, broken hearted, or for the lucky ones; you have your soul mate. This is quite the gamble to take, so think it through before you jump the gun.

By: Natasha Jervis


Comments (47 comments)

Your words are very true… I have had situation like this about 6 months back. She was my best friend and I started to be attracted towards her. Not able to control my emotions, i proposed her and I was refused. It was painful but I was soon able to understand that she was my friend not my love. We were very close and we always had gr8 chat…. : was this the only reason that I liked to spent my time with her actually influenced me to propose her…. Frankly speaking now I realize, it was it…..

By Great Almighty’s willing we are now again very good friends. Thanks to her that she was able to understand my state…. Pls pray for our endless friendship…!!!

Mishu / August 12th, 2007, 6:29 pm / #

I don’t believe more than 20% of that entire thing. I think that if you are friends and there is a connection between you strong enough for you to have a crush on them yet still wish for their happiness [[ even if that means not being with you ]] and they feel the same way about you…then what is wrong with it?! I was best friends with a guy I’ve been admiring since 6th grade [[ now in 10th ]] and we came to find out that we had a lot in common and just really hit it off as friends. Now, we are dating and we are both happier than we have ever been. Yes, we do have alot in common and it can get at times annoying to have them know what you are thinking without verbalizing it because they know you sooo well, but in the end…it is past the point of worth it. I think that relationships that start this way will rarely ever end up in a bad way. I think most of all that if a relationship like that does end, or never even begins in some cases, that it is just because one of the two people weren’t as similar or different enough for them to gain the closeness that is required in these relationships. People just need to realize that a relationship is revolved around a PAIR of people… You were a singular possesive while you were alone…

Acid / September 27th, 2007, 6:06 am / #

well, i think is good to be chaset to yourself because it pays.
when you remeber that you are not engaged into sexual, intercourse with any body at least you will be save from Stds that is every where nowadays.
and you wondn’t be sufring from heart break, and you are keeping Jehovah’s commad when he said you should not fornicate.
Precious.

Precious / October 11th, 2007, 5:16 pm / #

Your words are absoultly true, I wish that I had come to this website sooner.
It would have helped.

Anonymous / October 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm / #

Hi!!

Wow. I have felt like an idiot because doing this was very stupid of me. I lost a boyfriend and a friend. We got into the biggest fight ever and he has not talked to me since. It really sucks because he was a really good friend and a great boyfriend and I said something to him I shouldn’t have I guess and I was wrong so we broke up. Then two days later we went back out. I really thought that it was going to work out a lot better but it didn’t. The first time we lasted for 2 months then the second only 2 weeks. I really thought he loved me but I was very young. I am a freshman in high school I learned that boys can be jerks. I hate how I was treated. I now have a 100 messages on my phone because he misses hanging out with me, I feel really bad but honestly I do not care he hurt me that’s it, you know. My mom and dad think that I shouldn’t of said yes the second time, oh well. I have learned my lesson like I said I am only 15 I do not know what love is. hahah. Thank you for that information.Byeeeee

Briauna Westphalen / December 2nd, 2007, 12:47 pm / #

I almost forgot. The other weird thing is he started showing his true colors after we started dating. And once I said no to the doing it part he got all pissed and was like if you love me you would do it with me. Right?? I was like at 15 are you insane I am not following my mom’s footsteps and having a kid at 16. So he was like then it is over and I told him I have no clue who you are anymore. What happened to the sweet person you use to be . You know. He was like that doesn’t matter you wouldn’t of got pregnant. I was like you don’t know that it takes one time to get pregnant and I am not taking that chance. I seriously do not know you anymore and it really scares me because you have never acted like this and now you are. What in the hell man.

Briauna Westphalen / December 2nd, 2007, 12:53 pm / #

Yea. That’s very true. I just turned 16 and I got the hots for a guy friend of mine. He feels the same way and we’ve even shared a couple of kisses. But we’re not in a relationship yet. I kinda feel like he’s stuck on his ex because everytime she comes around, he leaves me. But he wants to be my boyfriend. The situation is very complicated. I just hope my feelings don’t get hurt. Thanks for the advice!!!!!

Samari V / December 7th, 2007, 3:44 am / #

Take it from me, i am best friends with a girl, and i started developing feelings for her. I wanted to tell her at the beging of the year when school started. Then i found out she has a bf, [[ flaming bugs me to this day coz hes 23 n shes 19! And i dont trust him 1 bit! ]]. So i sat in heartbroken pain for months, thinking about it. And eventually i did tell her about my feelings for her. To my suprise she told me she feels the same! Wasnt i happy, but she told me we couldnt be together because of him. And yes, it would be unfair to him, and her…. But we are still best friends and we even flirt a little, sometimes i even kiss her on the cheek :-). Thing is i love her, and i want her to be happy. I dont even think about other girls seriously. Maybe one day we will be together, best friends can be in love/have feelings for eachother, and im proof of it, im happy that shes happy, and what happens will happen. And as spiteful and selfish as this sounds, i hope that stupid bf of hers realises that he is not going to get lucky with a minor! And they separate… Ah damn now im making myself upset! Oh my gosh… What if im the odd one out? I dont know what to think… I feel like crying, if anybody can help me out with some advice, i would really apriciate it. *crying boy*

Noobie / December 13th, 2007, 8:17 am / #

Sir,

I m also undrgoing from such situation. I m also feeling something about my best friend. But i m confuse whether is it real love or only attraction.

We had contacting each other since almost one year

pls suggest something.

dinesh mote / December 13th, 2007, 1:49 pm / #

my boyfriends brother had to stay at my house over the weekend and hung on me and kissed me on the cheek and told me my boyfriend was cheating on me and i dont know what to to i tried to tell my boyfriend that his brother told me he was cheating on me and he asked me why i would make up a lie like that which makes me think his brother was trying to get with me. what do i do.

Amanda / December 19th, 2007, 3:40 am / #

thanks this helped so much i had the same dilemma with a really close guy friend in the summer. i found out he felt the same way. too bad we both didnt say anything i think because we both didnt want to ruin our friendship. he was so perfect for me it was hard for me to get over it. i hope one day in the future we can become more than friends but i doubt it. but really this article helped alot.

sweetie / January 1st, 2008, 1:49 pm / #

I wish I knew the right answer. Theres articles like these that seem to be true and believable, but then theres my heart thats telling me true love between best friends is possible. My first best friend is amazing, and we fit together like PB&J but hes in a relationship now (one that I helped put together) and he seems happier than ever. At first I was so happy for him, but now the more I spend time with him I realize my true feelings and how much I want to be with him. I havnt told him anything, because I think theres no point.. but its almost better to sit and wait for him alone, than it is to move on and forget. Ive tried both and now Im in a hole all over again not knowing which way to go. We joke around how were going to get married and how were each others first best friends and such, but how can I hold any truth to it. When his g/f is out of town, we talk and hang out all the time, as if we were a couple. But once she comes back, hes an ass, who seemingly forgets I exist. I suppose I dont need this, and should just get over him. In conclusion kids, try not to fall in love with your best friend..

Red / January 8th, 2008, 3:44 pm / #

i have a crush on girl but i think it was wrong
do know WHY?
cause i already loved some one but still i love her.HER NAME
SECRET she was my best friend since we were 2nd year.i want to say to her how much i love her.but i cant do cause she so in love w/ DANIEL i want keep our friendship will last forever
what can i do?
ii have bad attitude,im deffinetly not gentleman, or a good boy IN SHORT IM A BAD BOY BUT EVERY THING WHAT IM DOING HAS reason but people never understands me IM SUCH A LOSER well this words cant change anything maybe my bestfriend wasnt FOR ME but iHOPE someday it will change

good bye nice meeting you all

Im Mr.L

shaneze A. crystal / January 9th, 2008, 9:35 pm / #

its almost 4years from now and we have a promise that someday we will meet agAin. in the place where i leave him. but the problem is
WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN HE FIND SOMEONE OR I FIND MY SOMEONE.. ?
and one will be get hurt. he was my childhood friend in elem. and now im a 4th year student. we have still communication until now, and he always reminded me about our promise.
DO I HAVE TO CONTINUE? when i know theres someone out there in the world makes me happy like what he did when im w/ him?
IS IT UNFAIR?
BUT B4 IM GOing to commit w/ someone i want to make sure that i saw him b4 i let go of my feeling and he too.

lawliet / January 9th, 2008, 9:46 pm / #

I agree with the article to an extent, but not completely. I had one best friend relationship that only lasted 2 months, which sucked. But I was still young and immature. But later down the road I found a new best friend and we didn’t admit to wanting each other until we’d been close for over a year. Once we got together, we’ve been happy ever since. We’ve been together for a year and a half. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I guess point being, the article is right about taking a risk. Yes, with some best friends you may be ruining the relationship (like my first best friend relationship).. but then again, there’s also that chance of finding your soul mate, which I think I may have found with my girlfriend now. It’ll either really break the relationship, or really make it. Not every best friend is meant to be your girlfriend, as harsh as that sounds, but some are meant to. It’ll be the best thing to ever happen, or quite possibly the worst.

Anon / January 19th, 2008, 3:47 am / #

it’s such a terrible thing… when you love your bestfriend… and in my case she is my BESTfriend (in top, there is no friend like her) and I like her very much – I think about her every second in my life since 2 years ago – it’s very painful, because if you tell her and she doesn’t share the same feelings, you lose a friend (in this case the best of all, that truly one)… so I try a different strategy… read her body language, but even this failed to me and I explain why: sometimes she flirts with me a lot, and other times she seems to forget that I exist (ignore me or something like that), and this mixed signals make me confused… but this is recent (she never act like this before – start around 10 months ago. So you can imagine, if I was in true love pain (and it hurts a lot), how am I now?… the love pain is much more stronger than I am, and it drains all my forces… what should I do? (I feel that depression is my next stage)

Rui / February 6th, 2008, 12:27 pm / #

it’s such a terrible thing… when you love your bestfriend… and in my case she is my BESTfriend (in top, there is no friend like her) and I like her very much – I think about her every second in my life since 2 years ago – it’s very painful, because if you tell her and she doesn’t share the same feelings, you lose a friend (in this case the best of all, that truly one)… so I try a different strategy… read her body language, but even this failed to me and I explain why: sometimes she flirts with me a lot, and other times she seems to forget that I exist (ignore me or something like that), and this mixed signals make me confused… but this is recent (she never act like this before – start around 10 months ago. So you can imagine, if I was in true love pain (and it hurts a lot), how am I now?… the love pain is much more stronger than I am, and it drains all my forces… what should I do? (I feel that depression is my next stage)

Rui / February 8th, 2008, 8:37 am / #

oh… !really………. !!!!!!!
why is it that your stupid friend is the one that you like i understand you like you i also love my friend

ralph dhan / February 18th, 2008, 11:07 pm / #

a cute love story
thier was a girl who has leukimia and she is dying she has 1 month to live in this world.she had a crush on a boy selling vcd”s and dvd’s.
She buys dvd all the time just to see her crush.Her mother always remind her not to go outside cause it will be dangeruos for her.But then just to see her crush,she break the rules of her mother but her mother forgive her. Day after day she buy’s dvd.she wants to tell the boy how muchshe loves him.

then after 1 month the girl died,the boy went to the house of the girl.the boy ask her mother if the girl is still in thier house. then the mother said to the boy.the girl she wanted to see just died yesterday.the boy checked her room then she saw the vcd’s and dvd’s unwrapped.The boy cried cause inside of the unwrapped vcd’s are the love letters for the girl she wanted to be with.

ralph dhan / March 9th, 2008, 7:48 pm / #

Hi, i have a huge problem with this too, my friend and i were friends since honestly i dont remember but if i had to guess i think it would have to be 2 years old… but anyway since the past month i’ve really been attracted to her and its not just because well…you know she’s really the smartest, cutest, nicest, all around best girl i’ve ever met. also during this month it seems like shes almost flirting with me but not in like a big noticible way, and im exactly sure if she was but yea. i’ve always sort of liked her but…this past month i really feel that i love her…i know im a little too young to know about love and only had 1 other gf but i never felt this way about any1 before…she’s also a year older then me =P but all of my older friends say that 1-2 years dont really ever matter so… i dunno. but if any1 has any advice please tell me it would really solve the huge problem im dealing with right now thank you =]

Anonymous / March 11th, 2008, 9:32 am / #

U KNOW WAT being in love w/ some one older than you was never been wrong…but if the girl wants older than you..then let her go.. but its nice to try to court her or just tell her that you love her anyway i also loved a girl older than me..she didn’t like me we were best of friends since then but i tried ..friends nalang kaau di napipilit ang love

RALPH DHAN / March 31st, 2008, 4:53 pm / #

To an extent, I do agree with this post. But only to an extent. I fell in love with my best friend, and we have been together for three years now.

You do take risks when your in love, admittedly it took me a long time to bring myself to tell him, despite the fact we treated each other as if we were already going out, once you tell them it’s like a game of sudden death. If they don’t feel the same, the friendship could be awkwardly scarred.

On the other hand, as he was my closest friend, I knew him inside and out. I trusted him(which was very hard for me to do with previous boyfriends), and I felt completely comfotable with him. We had natural chemistry which brought us that close into a friendship. Chemistry isn’t necessarily just romance.

It is a big step to move things forward with a best friend, and if you chose to do it you must learn to accept the possible consequences if it doesn’t work out. You would generally find that playing safe is the better option to take.

Vikki / April 1st, 2008, 7:42 am / #

hi
its nice to tell feelings to someone .. telling feelings was never been wrong even though he or she doesnt love you or have some feelings for you
being in love is the hardest part of life its to choose ,to be hurt and hurt. i dont know true love was so suspicious and i dnt know try to explore

lawliet seven / April 5th, 2008, 9:39 pm / #

yo i know how all you are feeling. when i started Jr. High in 6th grade i meet this girl. and i liked her at first site. but i was afraid to tell her. over the year we became best friends. we talked all the time. and i started to like her more.in 7th grade we kinda got cut off a little bity thr. and in 8th grade i like her so much just about eneryone new it. about half way through the year she was dateing one of my best friends Shane. and he was 3 years older than her. and the last 2 or 3 of the school year i was rubbing her legs and some other things went on well she was dateing him. i dint know what else to do cause i happy. over the summer all i could do is think about her. and at the begging of our freshmen year she eas so beautfull and she ran up to me and gave me a hug. so about half wa ou

T.M. / April 13th, 2008, 4:31 am / #

We had been really close for the last 2 years of high school and we had sort of known each other since Intermediate. His sense of humour was so like mine and when he hit his growth spurt at the end of year 12, I saw he was hot instead of just cute. Somehow we got together in January after highschool graduation- this was hard for me because I didn’t trust boys to be respective of girls they were dating. (For some reason I was a cynic already at the age of 17.) But he convinced me that we should give it a go and so we started dating. Relative to people in my year at school, I was pretty inexperienced with guys full stop.
Now I’m glad to say we have been together since then (thats 2 years 2months) and I feel very close to him and we still crack each other up and have heaps of fun.
Goodluck with your bestie crushes everyone. But remember test the waters first before proclaiming your love, it’s just foolish otherwise

Anon / April 17th, 2008, 9:56 am / #

This article is so true. I have a really good friend and well we love to flirt with one another because well we hate seeing one another upset, and with flirting you laugh a lot. We would NEVER take it to the next step because we know it would hurt our friendship, one that we worked for, for so long. So if it your friendship means a lot to you then dont do it, just stick to being friends.

Melissa / April 21st, 2008, 11:31 am / #

this is so true. me & my best frien dhappened to be the “lucky ones” at the end. soul mates =]. but his best friend has absolutely fallen for him for a few years and she has this idea they are together or will be shortly and she tells everyone that….and he says no, its not like that, and shes like well of course not! but it never eally goes through her head. me & my guy are waiting for marraige for sex for sure, but we are very blessed and happy with eachother =].

Kaela / April 30th, 2008, 11:21 am / #

We have been really close since i started high school. his sence of humor was just like mine and when I seen him i know I had felling for him and then we became best mate. Then somehow we got together after term 1-This was very hard for me because my other mate like him to and every time she seen us together she would run away or not talk to us when were together then I found out that she like him. Then i found out that they were going out behind my back and that got my so pissed off that was the end of our friendship. And were havent be mate since. goodluky with your bestie crushes everyone.

S.S / May 10th, 2008, 4:00 pm / #

Here’s a long story everyone:

I was a victim of a broken heart. My ex “best friend” and I met in H.school, which was about 11 yrs ago. We hit it off from the beginning…and there was a bit of an attraction as well. We dated literally “1 night” and realized, he’s a heart breaker. I vowed never to date him and remained best friends with him. Throughout the years, I saw him date my close friends…and I simply didn’t care because I was dating my own. He was horrible with them, would stop calling them, break their hearts and I could never explain why. When we graduated, I keep losing contact with him every 4-6 months, then we would reconnect, catch up on life and keep in touch. He would dissappear every so often, but he was known for that and I was okay with it. He ended up having a son, but didn’t marry. I ended up getting engaged to my 5 yr relationship boyfriend and vowed to never speak to my best friend if he didn’t attend my wedding, a msg I had left to him on his voicemail. He called and was happy for me. We met for happy hr 1 night and caught up with news and events. 10 years of friendship was a long time and I was happy that we had remained friends. The night we met to talk, I felt weird seeing him..and he did too.
I got married and he attended the event. We promised to have lunch at least once a month to keep in touch. I think that’s where my mistake was because we should’ve never met again, after the wedding date. My bf and i knew we had a close connection that scared us. We met the 1st night and I hate to say, had a flirtatious feel the whole time. The 3rd time we met, we had drinks a dowtown wine bar. That day, I liked to call “black day”. We kissed for the first time in 12 years that night. The kiss was like no kiss I’d ever experience because of the emotions put in it. You know…one of those where the lips just touch…barely open…follwed my passionate kisses. We were like 2 kids, running from life…knowing that every move done that night was a sin. Going back home was the worst feeling ever. I had let down my husband and expected him to throw me in the trash. I never told him about that night, but he must of sensed something. My bf and i went through these hidden secrets for about 2-3 months, going out during the day, taking days off to meet, etc., before we knew something had to be done. I separated from my husband and moved back to my parents. I had become enclosed in this bubble…where nothing mattered but my bfriend and I. We saw each other almost 3-4 times a week, talked almost every hr and since he worked nights, he would talk to me until i fell asleep. I had family questioning my life and my parents were dissapointed in me. The love I was experiencing was stronger that my marriage and was ready to ask for a divorce. Within 3-4 months of dating, things became sour. The phone calls were minizing, he had received a promotion at work and become heavily involved in it. Would call me only on his way to/from work. On the weekends, all he would discuss was work and never questioned to see how I was doing. In the beginning I didn’t care because i loved him and was concerned about his job and the amount of sleep he was getting. My heart started to slowly break and realized that he was doing what he once did to the ex-girlfriends. The last night I saw him was the night we attended knotts scary farm. We had a talk that day, but he remained distant. I asked him why he neglected the relationship and didn’t have an answer for me. Telling him i love you and not hearing it back told me it was over.
My karma had arrived and it was time for me to pay for what I had done to my husband, who never left my side during these months. I became truthful to my husband and God was on my side, because he gave me a second chance. I promised to devote myself to my husband and love him like no other. I quit my job, changed my phone number and we moved to another county. I did this to completely move away from my bf. I knew it was something I had to do…and i haven’t felt this good in a long time. My marriage is doing great and there are no more secrets between my husband and I. I haven’t heard from my bf for about 11 months now and I’m glad about that. I wrote him a letter about 12 months ago, thanking him for allowing me to realize what true love is…and that he wasn’t it.

Losing a loved one hurts…losing a bf hurts even more. I had made a stupid decision in life..and received my karma…..i still think of the memories…but when i think of how he hurt me, i wish him luck in life. He is still very immature and doesn’t deserve me.

shls / September 30th, 2008, 5:43 am / #

if you have commitment to someone,then the problem is,
is loving someone with out commitment
with having someone in a relationship WRONG??????
what do you think????

larph dhan / November 10th, 2008, 11:56 am / #

a having a bestfriend is fun upon choosing him/her you gave you rwhole trust to that person..but being in love of your bestfriend
hmhmmmmmmmm….whats the best thing to do,even me i cant make such descion.
for some reason there will be walls between you and my bestfriend.
because he/she will be no longer your bestfriend.he/she will be your LOVE MATE,at all…your partner who can love you forever,that such bestfriend cant do.being in love for such person whom you care with,whom you give your trust and honesty with.is very very important,and being in love with your bestfriend was never been wrong…just to try have conversation after all you already known each other.. ok

ralph dhan / November 11th, 2008, 10:43 am / #

Wow, what a great subject! I believe you will all agree that I am an expert on this subject. I have written many articles on this exact topic. I can’t share everything here today, but I can give you just a few words of advice for those of you considering taking a friendship to the next level. Hope this helps….

In one of my recent studies on the subject of dating friends 97.4% of all people surveyed beieved that dating your friend can be fun if your sole purpose is to use them for great sex. But it has to be for GREAT sex. You should know that after you bang them it will be difficult to hang out as just friends again and the person who was once your friend has potential to become a very insecure, victimized, and needy person in your life. You don’t need that. She/he will just become added pressure for you; added weight. It’s not worth it unless the sex is really awesome. Trust me on that. If it’s just mediocre sex then you will feel that it was a total waste of time, and you will also feel regret for how the attempted romance damaged your friendship. However, (and this is a big however) if the sex is really good and you get to learn new tricks and you get to do really dirty stuff that you enjoy and you can brag to other people about (it is important that this friend be very attractive as well) then it is well worth it. Even if thing don’t work out and you are no longer able to be friends with that person you will still have all of those memories of how you totally banged a really hot chick or dude. You will also be making a huge deposit at the “spank bank”. Now you’ve got a “jag-off account” to make withdraws from when you have a date with yourself. It’s totally worth it if you can swing that. If not, and the other person is not very good looking or not freaky & fun in bed then you will regret it. You will wish that you had just kept them as a friend instead. So be careful when deciding whether or not you want to move forward into a romantic relationship with a friend. Ask yourself these 3 questions and you will make a much better decision….

1. Is the friend very attractive physically? If so, go for it. If not, leave it alone. You’ll hate yourself for it.

2. Is the friend someone who I believe could be “freaky” in bed? It’s hard to know this one for sure, but you’ll have a gut feeling. Always go with your gut. If you have trouble imagining them swallowing or going for positions like 69 and doggie then you should just stay friends. But if you can picture that friend gaging themselves on your member or screaming & moaning loud enough during intercourse to wake the neighbors then your time with that person romantically will be worth the effort and the potential permanent loss of a friendship if things don’t work out.

3. Finally, ask yourself ….”What will my other friends think? If you believe your other friends would be happy or even jealous to hear stories of you totally banging that person then do it. You’ve got nothing to loose. I mean you do have something to loose, but it will totally be worth it so just do it. On the other hand, if that person is not someone that all of your other friends would want to bang, or see get banged, or hear about getting banged, then chances are that person is not very attractive and you totally missed that part or at least not slutty enough to make the attempt at romance worth while.

You make sure you’ve honsetly asked yourself these 3 questions before making the decision to turn a friendship into romance and you can’t loose. I promise. And remember people, honesty is the best policy. Being honest with yourself first and then being at least somewhat honest with other people in your life will help you live a much happier and fullfilled life. Good luck to you and I wish you all a wonderful life full of love and joy.

Brandon

Brandon / December 4th, 2008, 4:21 am / #

To the 2 dudes named Dhan. You fuckers can’t spell or even make complete sentences an you. Wow! Please tell me English is not your first lanuage. If so, you guys are fucking retards. Really. How old are you? If you’re old enough to have girlfriends then you are old enough to write better than that. Jesus! It’s kinda funny, but it’s really annoying too. Of course, I could be irratable from all the unperscribed pain meds I’ve been munching on today. Anyway, you dudes need to not date anybody until you go back school and learn to write. You need to put the love stuff on hold for now. Work these spelling issues out first then we’ll work on the love stuff. Jesus! Priorities guys. Priorities.

Good talk. Now let’s get to work.

Brandon / December 4th, 2008, 4:32 am / #

such a terrible thing… when you love your bestfriend… and in my case she is my BESTfriend (in top, there is no friend like her) and I like her very much – I think about her every second in my life since 2 years ago – it’s very painful, because if you tell her and she doesn’t share the same feelings, you lose a friend (in this case the best of all, that truly one)… so I try a different strategy… read her body language, but even this failed to me and I explain why: sometimes she flirts with me a lot, and other times she seems to forget that I exist (ignore me or something like that), and this and fuck you.

Brandon / December 7th, 2008, 5:28 pm / #

well there is this girl and we’ve been best friends since we were four my feelings changed for her in the 7th grade and i told her how i felt she rejected me when i was in 8th grade, i’ve had a few girlfriends since then but my feelings haven’t changed and i still like her i asked her again on christmas. i’m 16 she is 14 goin on 15 she said yes but changed her mind the next day. what is up with that?

val / January 3rd, 2009, 1:53 am / #

this is to brandon

you are so kind brandon you have a lips of a devil even if i cant spell it right well God LOves me so much be CAUSE i BOW down before him and i am not fun of sayiong bad words aND whats connect well .This is really for you listen carefully

loving GOD and JESUS and being his children is the hardest thing to do.
and being his children you dont need to boast your self your knowledge just to prove that you are an intelligent person.
blessed those who are poor of knowledge,and does not go to school.But knows who is GOD and bow down before him,for he is worthy to be in the KINGDOM GOD. and to be praise BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID OF THE ALMIGHTY FATHER AND THE SAVIOR SON JESUS..

thats all brandon i hope you were enlightened.
by the way heres my love story..

you know if you want a boyfriend or a girlfriend and a serios relationship.
ask GOD AND TO JESUS to have one. he gave you the best of his special BUT PROMISE to HIM that you will change for him make a promise that can make him empress and then HE will gave it to you just wait and it will come.
and surely that GUY or girl WILL LOVE YOU AND TRUST YOU AND CARE FOR YOU UNTIL THE LAST DAY OF YOUR LIFE.
ANd you will know that GOD really exist becuase he is BLESSING YOUR relationship. yes!!!!!!!!! its really true im the living evidence. ok ask also HIM to bless your relationship.you know i have a secret relationship right now, and still GOD blesses us always. just TRUST HIS NAME.

im ralph dhan saying: dont matter the time just matter me and time will be
yours ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you so much

ralph dhan / January 26th, 2009, 8:45 pm / #

I do agree with this article. I had a crush on one of my best friends when I was 13. I never told him because I did not get the same feelings from him(he was a year older). We ended up being the best of friends and talked about everything! After about 2-3 years my crush went away, and it seemed like we were more like family. I pictured kissing him would be like kissing my brother! EWWW. We eventually drifted apart and I have not heard from him in years. i am glad that we never did hook up because I do not think it would have lasted as long as our friendship did.

angela / February 6th, 2009, 12:01 am / #

Reading this article and reading the response brought tears to my eyes.

I had never really believed in being in love with someone at such a young age. I’m 18, but I’ve always believed that love takes time. So I don’t know if I can say that I’m in love with my best friend, because after all, what is love?

But I can say with confidence that I like him a lot. I think for three years I’ve always liked him, but never admitted it myself because I thought those feelings were just ones that grew from our friendship.

And when I finally realized my feelings, it was too late. He has a girlfriend now, and it hurts me so much when I see them. And things are just so hard when he and I go on like best friends, doing everything together, and sometimes more than what I think best friends should do. But when I see him with his girlfriend, he just seems so happy. He is genuinely happy with her. And I don’t think I can ever do anything to take that away from him.

So while it breaks my heart to know that I can never be with him, I know that at least he’s happy. Right now, I just hope that I can move on soon. I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep, of hiding this from him, of potentially wrecking our friendship because I can’t tell him what’s on my mind.

R. / March 7th, 2009, 7:12 pm / #

I heard this opinion a lot of times. Friendship – is a clean and high relation, and no need to turn it into that dirty love! Did I understand right?

And young girls loose their innocence with the guys that are egoistic, that want just sex… and than crying and telling their “best friends” about their broken heart and so on. Isn’t it stupid? If she knows that there is loving, gentle and careful human ALREADY near her – and makes him very hurt! No, thanks, I’ll fuck with somebody else, and you will be just a friend, DO YOU UNDERSTAND???

Ilya Bakharev / March 15th, 2009, 1:04 am / #

My name is raymond and im feelin the same way right now because i been knowin this girl like for 2 years and im startin to fall for her but i dont want to end are friend ship you know i told her about it that im startin to like her and it feel so right
I want to take the next step but i dont know how i should come.
I think about it untill my head hurt. but now i see why they say fallin in love is so damn hard.

raymond / June 2nd, 2009, 12:11 pm / #

hi brandon this is ralph…

you think you were right..haha
i forgot to tell you that i never gone to school be cause my parents dont want..too
but you know what that letters there is just the simpliest thing that i can say even if i study no one wound’nt care haha..
im practicing my self to spell words correctly haha…

you need to go to work and work and youforget abouot getting gf..
let me tell you a tarot ok!!!

starting today your life relationships will be misreble than mine dont forget that ok!!!! aug. 12. 2009 ok brandon hating me is so much fun.

ralph dhan / August 12th, 2009, 9:27 pm / #

This article is completely truthful. I met my bestfriend two years ago in yr 11 and since then he has been the one person who i trust and go to when i just need someone to be there for me (even about advice with boyfriends).

For about a year there has been flirtation occuring between the two of us and people comment on our “just friends status”.

About a month ago at a party he pulled me towards him and just kissed me, then left, without saying anything else (i guess to give me time to process what i wanted). Even though i liked him, im the type of girl who is chased by a few guys, and did not know who to choose. Somehow this fact got back to him and he was really hurt, even now we are “taking it slow” (whatever that means) and acting like friends and i still am casually dating other guys, not knowing what i truly want with him.

However reading everyones stories tonight about the magic and true love felt towards there best friend it has made me understand how important he is to me and i have been silly for not telling him how strong my feeling are for him. He is amazing and i hope he is still waiting for me, even though i dont deserve it because of the way i have acted towards him.

I think i really love him and i know i want to be with him more than anything else…

Thankyou everyone for taking the time to share their stories otherwise i might have let my soul mate slowly slip away from me.

Goodluck to you all!

B. / August 14th, 2009, 10:09 pm / #

NICE WHAT U SAID ITS SAME HAPPENING WITH ME. I LIKE MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND A LOT N RESPECT HER TOO.AFTER 5 YRS I FOUND HER IN ORKUT ,THEN I GOT HER CONTACT NO . WE HAD A LOT OF TALKS ABOUT OUR CHILDHOOD DAYS.BUT WHEN I ASKED HER ABOUT WHAT SHE DOING NOW SHE LIED LITTLE BIT.MANY TIMES SHE MAKE ME FOOL
AS A GOOD FRIEND I TOLD HER THAT I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER, SHE DIDN’T FEEL BAD. AFTER THAT ONE DAY SHE CALLED ME AND SAID I HAD A DATE WITH SOMEONE , IT MAKE ME JELOUS THAT TIME. AFTER I GOT TO KNOW THAT I WAS JUST A PRANK. CAN I SAY SHE LIKES ME TOO??

SHANKY / November 29th, 2009, 12:50 am / #

Finding your soulmate is a pretty big payoff. Just by cost-benefit analysis, it’s worth risking.

angryrat / December 6th, 2009, 4:53 am / #

This has really helped me.I have been having these feelings for my best friend a month. She said every friendship that she has tried out to be more than that has failed.But she said that I have been the most caring for her and I helped her get off drugs.I dont know though but I would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all.When Im with her Im just so happy but yet misurable.I know I could be all she needs but she scared that it wont work out.But I could never hurt her.Even if we were to break up I would want to be friends.People who see us together think of us as soul mates but I dont think she feels the same way.I think she takes my kindness and puts like other guys are saying it. But Im crazy about her.I would do anything for her and I should respect her because if she wanted to take if farther she would let me know.I guess I can remain happy and misurable until shes ready.Thanks.

Austin Christian / February 15th, 2010, 2:24 pm / #

I read the majority of the posts on this page and I have to admit that the article was exaclty right. When I was a freshman in college, I became really attached to this guy and we spent every waking moment together. We shortly became “Best Friends” and I thought everything was wonderful. He ended up dating a friend of mine and it drove me insane. He told me after one of their dates that I was who he wanted and if I said I’d be his girlfriend, he’d end it with her. Well, I told him I couldn’t do that to my friend but luckily, I have the greatest friends and she knew how I felt so she ended it with him. We started dating and everything was so excellent. Eventually, though, he wanted to have sex (something that I was not readay for), when I said “no”, things went downhill. We broke up but we stayed “bestfriends” and I remained in-love with him. He continued to date a variety of girls and I didn’t date anyone. We were together all the time, still touchy-feely (bad idea). I felt like nothing was wrong, but I continued to cry and have my heart broken. I beleive that guys and girls can be just friends, but after dating, I don’t beleive that staying so close is a good idea. Recently, he came to see me, and we ended up making a huge mistake and he begged me back. I wanted so badly to accept but I honestly think that I just wanted what I couldn’t have and now that I can have it, I don’t necessarily want it. I love my life and being single works for me. It’s so hard to not fall for your “best friend” but if you do decide to date him/her, take my advice from expereince and know what is at risk. If you two break up, you not only lose your significant other but your best friend, which is actually the worst part in my opinion. Don’t take this situation lightly…..it definitely has repricussions.

Concerned / April 3rd, 2010, 7:13 am / #

I met one of my friends’ cousins about 3 years ago and while we had chemistry and we were constantly flirting, niether of us had the guts to make the first move. We becamse really good close friends and we often talked about what might have happend, and realised that we both wanted to make a move etc. We kept in touch and a year later I had just broken up with a boyfriend i had since i met my friend. My friend and I spoke a lot, he helped me get over the breakup- and we realised after a few weeks that we had feelings for each other and basically agreed to hold off anyone else and wait for each other.
A few days later I met my most recent ex boyfriend, it was a whirlwind romance and we ended up being together for almost 2 years. My first real love. To tell my friend who was in love with me that I had met someone else broke his heart and he couldnt speak to me for months.
about 2 months ago my ex and I broke up but we’ve still been seeing each other, sleeping together etc. My friend came into town last week and after an alcohol-fuelled night we ended up having sex for the first time. He said how special it was, and how amazing it was and meaningful, and wants to take our friendship to the next level. Even though my bf and I broke up, I felt like I cheated on him because we’re still seeing each toher (which this friend of mine doesnt know about). I dont feel sexually attracted to my friend. I dont feel lust for him like I used to. But he is so caught up and plans to move into town in the near future and ‘we can be together’ etc etc but I dont feel the same way. I just like the idea of it because he treats me so well, loves me to death, acts like i’m queen, makes me laugh, respects me- everything you could want from a potential partner.
I regret having sex with him because it was a heat of the moment thing and its something I can never take back. We shared everything in the past, know everything about each other- we’re the best of friends and the last thing left that we hadnt shared is our bodies. I now feel exposed, vulnerable because he’s now seen everything and knows everything about me- nothing is left.
I feel like we messed with our friendship and if I could go back to that night I would not have taken things to a physical level.
My advice is unless you have both thought about what happens afterwards, then you shouldnt do it. Unless you both feel exactly the same then you shouldnt do it because it is not fair on either of you. Sit down together and talk about how each of you feels.
Its a hard one, and such a special friendship is something you really shouldnt mess with.

BEEN THERE / May 24th, 2010, 11:43 am / #

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