When Flirting is Just Fun

Flirting is one of the most enjoyable games there is. Don’t let anyone fool you – it is a game. Nothing serious is usually meant by one person flirting with another. Just because you get a wink or a tango, it doesn’t mean they want to have your children and share a mortgage. Part of the fun is that there is no danger of commitment. It’s like window shopping for sex – looking and comparing prices but not actually buying anything.

There are many ways to flirt, but it is usually done through dress, words and body language. Flirting is done both by men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals. Sometimes flirting can be like teasing, especially in situations where the flirter knows the flirtee is going to be publicly embarrassed, say if a homosexual man flirts with a man frightened of gays in a bar. But most flirting is harmless and quiet. It can be done almost anywhere, which is part of the fun.

The way you dress can be seen as flirting with whoever looks at you. Short skirts, tight pants, make up and jewelry can be used to not only enhance your looks, but to flirt silently with any onlooker. Wearing sexy clothes for fun and flirting is only considered acceptable in certain situations, say at nightclubs or parties. Wearing clothes that look like they’ve been painted on is rarely acceptable at a funeral, a job interview or going to church.

It’s not the clothes themselves that can be flirtatious, but what you do in the clothes that’s considered flirty. If you strut with a wink and a smile, you’re flirting. If shuffling along with hunched shoulders, you’re not flirting. Quiet body language like cocking your head, prolonged eye-contact, a woman showing her palms, even “accidental” brushings of knees and elbows is flirting for fun. If I notice a man staring at me as I eat an ice cream cone, I tend to stick my tongue out farther to curl around the cone to flirt. They usually laugh.

The most usual way of flirting, and the most versatile, is with words. The most useful and traditional is the double entendre, which was even used in such William Shakespeare plays like Hamlet. A double entendre is talk that on the surface is perfectly innocent, but can also be taken as sexy talk, laced with puns and slang about anything having to do with sex. Double entendres change rapidly from place to place and year to year, like the latest catchphrase. For example, the word “shag” is slang for the sexual act, if you live in England. In America, “shag” is a kind of carpeting or a hairstyle. So, when talking to an Englishman and he asks me what kind of hairstyle I have, I might say, “Shag?” in a sort of questioning lilt. On the surface, I’m telling him what hairstyle I have, but underneath, I’m quietly asking if he’d like to “shag.”

Like anything else having to do with human beings, flirting can be misinterpreted by those who you are flirting with. It’s not your fault if they want to press things too far. Just tell them how you honestly feel, and say you were only flirting. A decent person will laugh at him or herself and remember all the times he or she has made a blunder.

Flirting is not only fun, it keeps your mind sharp and can bolster your self-esteem. It’s also good practice for what to do when that special someone does come along.

Comments (2 comments)

so what if youre married and youre flirting? is that still good?

grace / February 26th, 2010, 11:13 pm / #

Flirting while married is fine as long as your spouse knows. I had my first wifes approval and we usually flirted when we were together since we usually were. We were comfortable with it because we knew we could trust that it would never go any farther. We loved what we already had.

It’s a form of compliment when someone accepts flirting from your spouse. They like what you have.

Desprit / April 29th, 2010, 5:57 am / #

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