Homosexuals are emotionally and/or physically attracted to persons of the same sex. It sounds like a simple, straight-forward definition, but what if you are strongly attracted to your own sex but don’t act on it, does that make you a homosexual? What if you seek affection with one sex but physically desire sexual activity with the other? What if you are sexually attracted to both sexes? What if consciously you have only heterosexual thoughts and actions but unconsciously desire sex (or relationships) with the same sex? You can see that this labeling problem could become complicated. Continue reading

Homosexuality Misconceptions

Homophobia means the fear–and often hatred–of gay or lesbian people. As an out lesbian, I have addressed that fear many times. I have soothed anxious parents of gay teens and reassured angry protestors that I, nor any other gay person I know, has any intention of interfering with their day to day lives. Yes, sometimes I get tired of educating and explaining. Some days it would be bliss to scream back at the protestors and return hate for hate. But I know their hate is born of fear and just might, with the correct information, someday transform into indifference or even love. So I continue to educate. This article examines some of the myths that cause people to hate and fear gays and lesbians. Continue reading

Homosexuality and Human Nature

Deciding to come out of the closet is scary for most people. It’s human nature to worry about all the things that could possibly go wrong. Unfortunately, it’s also human nature to “catastrophize,” in other words to imagine a negative outcome and take it to ridiculous lengths. For instance, to think “My landlord will find out, and he’ll evict me, and no one else will rent me an apartment, so I’ll end up penniless and on the streets” is catastrophizing. This article looks at some negative consequences people do face when they come out of the closet, and suggests ways to handle them to reduce the hurt and damage.
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5 Things Lesbians Would Hate to Happen

Some straight women imagine that lesbian relationships are pure bliss. They remember how well they got along with their best friends and think that every day must be filled with shared feelings and every night must be a joyful slumber party. Think again. We lesbians know that our relationships, like any other relationships, must be carefully tended, cared for, and worked on. We have many of the same fears and concerns as straight couples, and a few extra that are unique to our relationships. This article examines five top lesbian fears, explores why they send terror through us, and offers suggestions for neutralizing these fears.
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Don’t Lie to Yourself

How often has anyone told you to be yourself? Do you fear who you are or are you comfortable in your own skin? The choice of who we are is based on a great many factors. Some of those factors come from within us, some come from society, and others come from our home life. We are the only person who can tell us who we are.
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