Men’s sexual problems

Men, in general, talk about their sexual conquests but not their sexual concerns. They tend to keep up the strong male image, including the impression that they are fantastic in bed and that they have no problems (except they “can’t get enough”). Yet, males usually feel responsible for sex–for approaching the woman, arranging the place, skillfully handling the foreplay, and producing both orgasms. Moreover, too many macho males think sex is all that really matters in a relationship; sharing feelings and problems, being tender and caring, doing things together that she likes to do, getting to know each other deeply, etc. are seen too often as silly women’s stuff. These men just don’t get it: good loving is not in the penis, it is in the heart and the mind. If sex were just coming to a climax, then we’d just masturbate. Sex is a mental-interpersonal process, not just a brief physical act. With males having all these responsibilities, misconceptions, and sexist attitudes, the truth is men have a lot of sexual problems. Continue reading

Lack of sexual interest

A few people experience very little sexual drive, even in new romantic relationships. But most of us are obsessed with sex in the early infatuation stages of a relationship. We eagerly spend hours every day touching, kissing, holding, fondling, and sexually arousing our new love. Yet, after a few years, the burning interest wanes. Sex becomes routine. Why? We don’t understand it, but it happens to all of us to some extent, e.g. the frequency of intercourse declines from once a day (for a short while) to once a week years later. It is an expected transformation. The change is so gradual we hardly notice it. Suddenly we realize that the person who once drove us crazy can undress in front of us and we hardly notice. Some people go for weeks without wanting sex, some reject their partner’s advances. Continue reading

Dealing With Specific Sexual Problems

There is a tendency to think “I’m the only one who has this sexual problem or thought.” In a society were youth and beauty are worshiped, one may also think “young people are great in bed; old people have sexual problems (or no sex at all).” In reality, about 30% of all males and 40% of all females sometimes lack sexual desire, 37% of college students have trouble occasionally getting an erection or getting lubricated, 30% or more of sexually active college women don’t orgasm regularly, 23% of college men ejaculate too soon, and 20% or more of both sexes have doubts about their sexual adequacy (Koch, 1982; Rubenstein, 1983). So our sexually liberated society hasn’t freed us from sexual worries, it may multiply them. But, there’s hope, 75% of the elderly, who are still sexually active, say lovemaking gets better with the years (Starr & Weiner, 1982).
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