You want me to do WHAT? Talking about Sex with Your Partner

Communication in general is very important for a healthy relationship, but when it comes to talking about sex, some couples become a bit shy or closed minded. It is healthy to talk to your partner about what you like, what feels good and what you want. It can take your sex life to a whole new level of intimacy and make your relationship even stronger. Sex isn’t an easy topic to discuss for quite a large portion of our population, but with further knowledge and experience we can learn to appreciate this form of intimacy with our partner to a whole new level. Here are some things to remember when you are discussing sex or thinking about talking about sex with your partner.

When approaching a discussion about your sex life, it is best to start mentioning what makes you feel good and what does not. Not in a critical manner of course. Always be aware and sensitive of your partner’s feelings and be positive. The more you talk openly and honestly with your partner you will realize that it isn’t as hard as you think to discuss sex. You will become more relaxed and most likely excited by this new level of intimacy and openness. Many couples would like to spice up their sexual lives but do not know how to approach each other and to suggest new things such as other positions, bondage, oral sex, and more. They become fearful that they might be looked at awkwardly or in a different manner, and possibly rejected. A way to get your suggestions out there without bluntly stating it could be to say something looks awesome or fun when seeing a movie, reading a book or magazine.

When it comes to sex with our partner, most of us think that the other one can read our mind. In some cases, couples can connect in that way but a majority of people get frustrated because they feel they are not satisfying their partner. Sometimes we expect too much and that we should know exactly what to do with another person’s body. We are not experts and every single one of us is different and responds to different touches and arousal. None of us can actually read another’s sexual mind. We can read body movements, noises and exclamations of ecstasy and many other sexual responses. Communication is so important when it comes to sex and even while having sex. Communicating isn’t only about being verbal; it is also about showing your excitement and arousal through touch, movement and noise.

Being honest with each other during sex can increase sexual confidence and can make a couple even more open to the discussion of sex and new ideas. There is no point in faking anything in sex and it is best to be demonstrative or tell your partner what felt good when. As lovers, you will practice and learn about each other, and in time you will know what your partner’s body and mind responds to sexually. By trusting one another and communicating freely and openly, couples will get to know each others sexual tastes, likes and dislikes. Communication is the key to a good sex life as well as the key to every other aspect of a healthy relationship.

By: Natasha Jervis

Comments (4 comments)

I like the idea of being honest and talk to partner. however marriage is not all about sex but still it plays a great role in keeping to souls together.

And most of the problems solved once we discuss with our partner honestly.

master / September 8th, 2007, 5:47 pm / #

very true! this is an issue which is one of the prime factors that decide the fate of a relationship.
great work doc!!!

ergotropic / December 8th, 2007, 2:12 pm / #

This is really a good advice I have ever heard of. I think discussing things honestly boosts the confidence both in men and women. I believe letting the patner know what exactly you liked will give him/her the opportunity to satisfy their partner which is key to the success of couple relationship. Believe me 80% divorces are due to bad sex. Read more and have a good, relaxing and enjoyable sex with your partner you life will be fine. Sometimes the male force their partner to suck, which is really bad habit, it should be the left to the will of the women whether they want a suck or not? The same applies to men.

Eurocon / December 29th, 2007, 5:26 am / #

Well, I am single. Will get married soon. I will be open to my partner as per above. Thanks a lot! I will also try to show my partner the above doc sometimes after the marriage.

mistergold2008 / April 11th, 2010, 5:54 pm / #

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