This September, my boyfriend and I will have been together for five years. It is a milestone. Well, maybe it is not quite a milestone, but it is for me. Maybe it is for him as well. And to tell you the truth, we almost did not make it this far.
Let me take you back a little more than five years ago. We met on a project in which I was just volunteering for and he was working on. That was June 2002. I was an angry young girl then and he was a young man in a doomed marriage (he is divorced now, we are not living in sin!). We met, there was a spark, and I noticed the ring immediately. Nothing happened and we went our separate ways after two weekends on this horrible project.
July rolled around. I was producing another project. I posted some ads online to crew it up and my sweetie emailed me (about the project) not knowing I was the same girl he met almost a month before. Of course, I immediately recognized his name and thanked him for his interest in the project, but we had already filled his position. I wished him well and added a postscript reminding him who I was and that I remembered him.
And so it began. We emailed throughout the summer, back and forth. It was all very innocent at first. But then we moved into late night telephone calls that lasted hours at a time. It was all very exciting. I had just gotten out of a rough relationship and this attention was all very welcome. In the back of my mind, I remembered that wedding band, but I blocked it out. I had a new boyfriend; well not really, but it was fun to fantasize with all the emails and phone calls.
So we decided to hang out, as friends. That wedding band was gone. That lasted about three minutes. We were all over each other and spent every weekend together. In early November, I said, “Hey, you wanna move a thousand miles away from here with me to a brand new city and start all over?” He didn’t even hesitate and agreed right away. So we did. On New Year’s Eve of 2002, we were in our new apartment, with his cat (who has adopted me quite nicely), in a new city.
Everything was a wonderland for a while. The excitement of a new relationship was still there combined with the vibes of a new city and a new home. It was all so overwhelming. Then the age-old relationship problems like money, smothering, and trust reared their ugly heads. I was tired, broke, and stressed out.
Then, we both started working endlessly. Spending lots of time apart. When we were together, we were tired and cranky. It was hard. Separation always is. We had bitter arguments and horrible fights. We behaved badly in front of friends and family. But we worked it out. I trust and love him completely. I know he feels the same way. We talk all the time now, and I have truly come to understand what the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” means. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Total mush, but it is true.