Sexuality spans the biological, psychological, social, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of our lives. Sexuality begins with us and our relationship with ourselves and extends to our relationships with others. Our relationship with ourselves includes how we feel about ourselves as a person, as sexual beings, as men and women, and how we feel about our body and how we feel about sexual activities and behaviors.
Our relationships with others may include friendship, emotional intimacy, love, and/or sexual activities. We are all sexual people regardless of disability or illness and we have a right to live a fully sexual and satisfying life. What it really comes down to is that sex is how you define it, as an individual, based on your experiences and feeling. When most people say they have “had sex” or talk about “sex” they mean vaginal intercourse, but for many, that doesn’t sum up what sex is very well.
Many of us find it better to define “sex” as being whatever it is that arouses us in a sexual way. For some, that is vaginal intercourse, but for others that may be oral sex, masturbation, digital (with hands) sex, anal intercourse, sex with toys like vibrators, or even kissing and petting. because people and their sexualities are so different, definitions of what sex is or isn’t also vary really widely.It’s really important that we not let someone else define what sex is for us — after all, how can they know what sex is for anyone but themselves?
We can have the best sex if we find out for ourselves what makes us sexual, instead of letting another person tell us what does for them, and ascribe that to us. We are all very different people, with different bodies, experiences, desires and responses, and what sex is to one person, it may not be to another.
Having a more open defintion of sex also helps people to remember to have sex responsibly. if we say only vaginal intercourse is sex, then a lot of people think that having sex safely only need apply to that sort of sex, which isn’t true at all.
Give your self time to explore what it really means to you. In my experience, the older you get, and the more diverse your sexual experiences are, the more you begin to realize that so many things can be sexual, trying to define which things they are arbitrarily is just plain silly.
If you choose to have sex, latex condoms give you good protection because they are barriers – something that keeps you away from your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s sex fluids. Other birth control methods only protect you from unwanted pregnancy.Using a condom isn’t 100% safe against pregancy or STDs–only abstinence is–but it offers the best protection from STDs and pretty good protection from pregnancy if you do have sex. The best protection is to use birth control pills or depo provera to prevent pregnancy AND latex condoms to protect against STDs.
What is a dental dam? A dental dam is a flat piece of latex that is made for use during dental procedures. They can be purchased in some medical supply stores or in some adult bookstores. They can be used as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina or anus during oral sex. Household plastic wrap or a split and flattened, unlubricated condom can also be used if you don’t have dental dam.