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Got an Abusive Relationship? Stop it!

There are not many more difficult situations to get out of than that of an abusive relationship. Some might think that physical or even sexual abuse, the kind that is evident, is the most destructive, but research suggests otherwise.

A ten month old infant is consistently “flicked” in the head just so dad can watch him cry. However, when the crying doesn’t cease, dad gets mad, pushes the child down or drags him by his arm to the bedroom where the door is then locked. The child continues to cry, mom is upset and tells dad that he is being “too hard” on the little child and the fight is on. After having other children taken from their home, the situation escalates into the ten month old in a coma he’ll never recover from, mom is charged with “permitting abuse” and dad is sent to jail to await trial. Waiting to see if the child dies, which would be best for him in the long run, the prosecutors are eager to pursue murder charges.

According to a recent report, emotional wounds, inflicted during an abusive relationship, last longer than any other scar. This emotional abuse can include neglect, harmful words and actions and can be inflicted by anyone. Most often, emotional abuse inflicted by family members is less devastating than that of persons outside the immediate family.

Although strange, individuals who are involved in abusive relationships of any kind feel that the cause lies within them; something about them is not right. They may feel as if they’re not “good” enough or smart enough or pretty enough or successful enough. None of these “rationalizations” is ever accurate. In fact, abuse often has less to do with the victim than it does the one doing the victimizing.

Sexual abuse is second on the list of the longest lasting wounds. Typically at the hands of someone the victim knows, they become an object of desire or hate and the perpetrator takes their rage out on the undeserving. There is no gender specification and sadly, no age specification. These types of relationships scar people for life sometimes. No one deserves to be treated this way…by anyone!

If you are the victim of an abusive relationship the most important thing you can learn is this: you can get out. There are a million arguments for NOT leaving an abusive relationship. The bottom line is this: while expressing anger is a normal and healthy part of any relationship, threats and attacks either verbal or physical are NOT healthy and you do not have to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy.

You owe it to yourself to find an alternative living arrangement and allow others to help you transition out of this stage of your life. Any local telephone book will list hotline numbers to call if you feel you are the victim of abuse. There are also local agencies that will allow you to live temporarily, even with children and/or pets, while they provide assistance in searching for a safer place for you to live. There is no reason to stay in a situation that doesn’t provide safety and security. You DO deserve better.


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