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Sex Discussion. How to Start

As a parent each of us has to face the fact and the tasks of when and how to start the discussion on sex with our preteens and teenagers.
The best way of approaching this subject with your teenager is in a quiet and relaxing location, take them away just the two of you for the weekend to a cabin in the mountains or a beach house where you will have plenty of together time to talk.

Start out by letting them know how important abstaining from sex until their wedding day is not just for them but for their future spouse also. Let them know they can come to you with any questions, advice or when they just need a shoulder to lean on when it comes to sexual or relationship subjects. You want them to have a sense of comfort when communicating with you about this and other parts of their lives.

If you find that your teenager has already been involved in sexual activity, keep your cool, don’t lose it, calmly and confidently let them know that they can still choose not to do it again and save themselves for their husband or wife on their wedding day. Tell them some adults even make this pledge after a relationship has gone bad and they are starting out anew. Let them know this is a precious and beautiful gift they can save for their spouse for the wedding night to show their devotion and love for them.

Discussions on sex with your teenager are usually best if it is done right before they hit puberty. Give them healthy advice and the choice available regarding relationships, dating and sex. Never show them that you are reluctant, embarrassed or uncomfortable communicating on any of these with them, that will only make them feel uneasy and shy away from discussing these issues with you any further.

Teach your child the differences between an unhealthy relationship and a healthy one.

Make sure they also know that being cool or popular. Having the most money or the best looks are not all that matters in regards to relationships they forge in their lives, but that having some one to laugh and cry with, enjoy doing everyday things with, communicate easily with, believe in and trust as well as share some of the same beliefs and values with one another are even more important in making a lasting relationship, none of the superficial stuff matters.

They should be made aware of the sexually transmitted diseases that can be caught and there effect they may have on their futures. You should also discuss the appropriate behaviors adults should show to them and ones they are deemed inappropriate. The dangers of rape should be taught to them and let them know that most of these horrifying incidence happens by some one who was once thought of as a friend or an acquaintance.

Starting the discussion may be hard for you to do, but in the long run it is the best thing to protect your child’s future well being and safety.


Comments (One comment)

There was this guy see.
He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,

“Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”

Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,

“Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”

“O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”

A few moments later…

“Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”

O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”

A few moments later…

“DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”

“O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”

A few moments later…

“Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”

RogEffess / October 26th, 2008, 2:10 am / #

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