Article

What To Do If You Have Been Raped, and Prevention Tips

Rape is the usual word for the act of one person forcing another to have sex. Rape is one of the most horrible things to happen to a person. It is not only painful and traumatic, but it is hard to forget. Men and women can be raped. Men and women can be rapists, although it’s mostly men. Women rapists tend to stick objects painfully into the genitals and anus of their mostly female victims. If you remember nothing else of this article, please remember this – rape is not the victim’s fault. It’s the fault of the rapist only.

Many rape victims have painfully discovered their rapist was not a stranger, but someone they thought they knew, such as a husband, boyfriend, teacher or even a family member. They have different sets of problems and recovery needs than those who have raped by strangers. This article will concentrate on those who’ve been raped by strangers.

Preventing rape is very difficult, because of forces you can’t control. It’s akin to trying to find a place on Earth that will never have an earthquake. Any place on Earth can have an earthquake, but some places more than others. You must use common sense when you go out on a date or go to a new place. Try not to drink any alcohol or take drugs, which can slow down your reactions or make you act provocatively to others. Keep in well-lit, well populated areas. Walk confidently, even when lost, so you put off the appearance that you know exactly what you are doing. Keep a cell phone on you for emergencies. Before you go out, have some sort of calling check in arrangement with a family member or trusted friend. For example, if they haven’t had a call from you by 11pm, they know you are in trouble and need to call the police.

Bad things do happen. Despite following common sense and these prevention tips, you might still get raped. It’s not your fault.

After the attack, try and breathe. You will get through this. As soon as the rapist is gone and you can safely move about, you have to get to the police or a hospital IMMEDIATELY. Do not comb your hair, get washed or even try to put your clothes back on. You could destroy evidence that could put your rapist in jail. A lot of rape victims never report their attack because they are afraid they will not be believed. If you go into a police station or a hospital with bruises, ripped clothes and black eyes, no one can say they don’t believe you.

A lot of embarrassing things will happen during the rape investigation. But they are not done to ridicule you – they are done to help you. You will be photographed, most likely naked, for evidence to prove you were attacked. You will have to have your anus and genitals checked for any semen deposits, which hold vital DNA evidence. Your fingernails may be checked to see if you scratched the rapist and maybe caught some DNA fragments or even thread fragments. You will have to tell the story of your rape over and over again for procedures, and to check that you are not lying. The police will check your past to see what kind of persona you are. They’re not doing it to humiliate you. They are honestly trying to make the best case for you that they can.

Recovering from rape is the same as recovering from a sudden death, or a natural disaster. It will take time. You might not believe this – but you will feel better one day. There are many people, organizations, doctors and friends who are there to help you. Take some time to grieve, and definitely follow your doctor’s advice, but try to live as normal a life as possible afterwards. The familiar routine is a slave that helps your spirit and mind to heal more quickly than hiding away.

I hope you will never be raped, but is the worst should happen, I hope these words can provide some help and comfort in your time of grief and healing.


Comments (20 comments)

Pls, am not well understanding this fact about sex, and its problem.
does that mean relationship between a Boy and Girl, will not be come strong unleas they engage theirself into sexual intercourse?

Precious / October 11th, 2007, 5:21 pm / #

can you give some more information, cause i got raped when i was 12 and my parents didn’t do anything about it, and can you tell at what age someone should have have sex?

hythnarline / January 8th, 2008, 12:05 am / #

I was raped by a girl of 16 year age she was my patient i live in india how can i get rid of her she is coming daily at my clinic and have sex with me daily and if i oppose she threatens me to lodge a rare case against me pls help my mobile number is +9xxxxxxxxx she wants to mary me she was virgin when she first time attempted rare on me pls help

Dr.Harsh / February 18th, 2008, 11:37 am / #

I’m writing you this letter because I need help and have had a hard time trying to figure out what happened to me. When I was a little girl i told my mother that a family member hurt me “down there.” The problem is I don’t remember much about what or if something happened to me. I remember the feeling of my bare back on the cold hardwood floor of my bedroom but very little else. I don’t even remember telling my mom about anything. A few years later my mother found bruises on me from someone “tickling me.” This made me start to wonder if he had done anything to me. After asking my mother she told me what I had told her and asked me what I remember but I don’t remember anything but that feeling. I have read a lot about rape and the things that people go through afterwards and a lot of those things fit what I am going through. Apparently I even have nightmares in which I pled “No, don’t hurt me” but I don’t remember any of them though many many people have see me have them most of which didn’t know anything about what may have happened to me. I don’t know what to think anymore and the older I get the more I want to find out but I don’t know how to find out. Please if you can help me I would be forever grateful, Thank you!

Unsure / April 16th, 2008, 12:18 am / #

I was raped by a Gay Male Caregiver when i got put in a Home for people with Disabilities. Working there was his idea of a legal way to get his hands on some “fresh meat”. I have Epileptic Seizures, and would wake up afterwards finding myself back in bed, completely naked, with him there fondeling me. First time it happened, my anus was bleeding and my doctor said it was torn from something being forced inside it. But they didn’t have DNA back then, so if he didn’t see it happen, I haven’t got a case. Tried talking about it in a Support Group, but the person running the group is a lesbian and a Gay Rights Activist defending their way of life. If you don’t like it, she said that’s discrimination. On the Internet, I typed in Sexually Abused Men, only to come up with hundreds of sites for Women Sexually Abused by Men. Everywhere I go for help, there’s nothing out there!

Matthew / May 13th, 2008, 12:52 pm / #

i need help my sister was raped and my mom doesnt know what ot do ?

nameless / May 19th, 2009, 5:51 am / #

I need help. I was raped about two months ago and it’s hard to forget. I get scared at night and have anxiety attacks. I am only 14 and it’s very scary. I do not want to tell my parents, nor do I want to get the person who raped me in trouble. Im just stuck. I need ways to calm down and be okay. I need to get over this and get on with my life. Im afraid to go to a councelor because she will tell my parents or police. I don’t know where to go or what to do. Please help me.

Anonymous / July 8th, 2009, 1:37 pm / #

I think I may have been raped 4 days ago. I blacked out but woke up naked and things in my room were a little different. I think I barely remember someone being over me when asking if I had anything. I woke up tender down there like I had sex and the boney area between my leg and vagina on both sides are still sore now. I don’t even know how I got home and my friends told me that I was standing right next to them one second and was gone the next. I also made a phone call to a friend several states over saying someone was trying to get me into their car. Is there a way to find out if I have been raped or has window closed on that?

hydro / July 29th, 2009, 4:39 am / #

Im not sure if ive been raped.I just remember getting extremely drunk with some of my ex’s friends and waking up with one of them on top of me attempting to kiss me.I called my ex and told him I was raped by two of his friends.Right now,I dont know how I assumed that much,but I would not say those things for no reason.I’m scared to do anything and as much as I am trying to remember anything like my pants being off etc. i just cant!It’s frustrating and I don’t know where I should go from here.

Stacy / August 15th, 2009, 3:59 am / #

I woke up not yesterday but hte day before. I m a bloke and it looked like someone had put a condom on me and there were other signs as well. My bed was full of dribble or water. Also I caught the girl i suspect looking through the keyhole the night before at 6 30 am. I felt like I had had sex and was very sleepy with chills whihc are also signs.

I ve had psychosis which means that you get deluded. I m worried that I might just be imagining things but I dont know. I m not too bothered about this though. I just want to know what evidence. there would be… there are bandages plastered on my bed as well. I dont know why.

What the hell should I do? I cant jsut accuse somone. P.S I only atm want to be contacted by this site.

x / August 27th, 2009, 11:49 pm / #

I am a 19 year old girl, my mum got sexually abused since she was in her baby cot and raped many times by a family member who use to baby sit her when she got old enough to realise this was wrong she threatened to tell her parents and the night she threatend to the family member that she was going to tell her parents he went home and hung himself, my mum didnt tell her parents that night but has always blamed herself for his death!. I was not born then but now I have a 13 year old sister that has just told my mum that a teenager/17 on her street that is well known for going with little girls has been touching her up for a long time as she played with the teenagers little brother all the time and goes to sleep over at the teenagers little brothers who is the same age as my little sister, she has stop sleeping over at her friends house now thow as she is to scared. Anyways my sister told me that he gave up trying it on and touching her and forced himself on to her and raped her and ever since has been making her go in his car and abuse her. my family are very busy she does not see my mum and dad much and I have moved out of the house and my older brother has so she has not told anyone she is to scared but now she has told me and my mum and I am angry as my mum has done nothing as yet!!! she should ring the police as he has done it to lots of girls before and I could even get them to come forward to but my mum has not done anything, I am so angry n scared incase I call the police but my mum gets in to trouble because she has not told them sooner. I cant stop thinking about it. Something will be getting done soon ! Weather my mum likes it or not but help give me some tips please 🙂

unknown / November 17th, 2009, 10:52 pm / #

I have just been raped by the person next door and i am now pregnant with his daughter please help

not telling / February 7th, 2010, 6:24 pm / #

I was sexualy abused by my dad for a year and then raped for another year before i told anyone and now that i hav we dont thhnk it can be proven

AnOyEd / February 13th, 2010, 10:41 am / #

If Anyone is goin threw the stress,emotional brakedown,depression,anger off trying to deal with rape whatever you do DO NOT go to a school councilor beacause they tell your parents belive me i know it happened to me if you are going to counciling go to a proper one but not in school i am fourteen i was raped when 13 i went on a self destructive path i took drugs and was drinking almost every day i was on the hop (mitching School) For three and a half months i attempted to kill myself a number of times ,yeah i still am depressed and feel lonely and angry and want my attaker dead but i am slowly but surely recovering i took up kick boxing to realease my anger and stress and it works But Please If What happened to me unfortunatly happened or happens to you please do not start drinking alchohol is a depressent it will make you feel worse! Hope This Helpes AnyOne x x x

unknown / February 25th, 2010, 5:59 am / #

I AM 18 YEAR OLD GIRL MY PARENTS ARE IN US FOR 12 YEARS MY BROTHER RAPED ME 2 WEEK AGO NOW IAM PREGNENT WHAT SHOULD I DO I DONT NEED A ABOCTION WHAT ARE THE MEDICINE USEFUL FOR ME

XXX / March 15th, 2010, 4:30 am / #

I just turned 15 a few months ago on Febuary 11th 2010 i was raped by a 23 yr old man. he was a friend and i trusted him but that night i was crying and screaming for help. i havent told many people but i think i want to go to the police but i dont know how. is it too late? he wore a condom and i dont think there is any DNA. i dont know what to do . im scared and alone please help

Lindsey / March 29th, 2010, 5:24 am / #

A few days ago I went out with my friends and I didn’t drink an awful lot i brought a few drinks inside the club but not enough to get me so drunk I can hardly remember anything.
My friends said I went into a taxi with a guy and I don’t remember that. I woke up the next day at this guys apartment. And I remembered him kissing me and then telling me to take my dress of. I was so drunk i don’t even know how my dress got of.
I also remember him having sex with me and i kept trying to stop it but i don’t know if he realised that?
I was in so much pain
But i don’t know if this was rape, I can’t remember anything.
I’ve never had sex before and its really horrible knowing this was my first time
I feel so alone and confused, I haven’t told anyone I feel so ashamed and disgusted
please help

confused / April 11th, 2010, 4:55 am / #

i got raped by a girl in the ass i had a crush on her so its all good i wanted to be the on the other side but being the victem is still ok so beat it just beat and eat i dont care what you had for lunch just eat cause other kids are starving in japan just eat sorry i was telling the truth about getting raped by a chick

jr / May 13th, 2010, 1:17 pm / #

Just 3 weeks ago I was raped by my friends dad at a sleepover I am 15 and i’m really scared (I don’t like going near my friend now) and I can’t tell her because she won’t believe me.

not telling / June 11th, 2010, 2:19 pm / #

I got raped for 6 years straight by my coisin and he won’t stop I want to tell someone but I can’t tell my mom cause I’m afraid and my dad lives in a differentcstate and my cousin won’t stop raping me I am 12 years old in two days he started when I was 7 and I don’t want him to get in troublebut I can’t just let him keep on doing it plus he is already in juveinnile so I don’t know what to do my email is zkitty16@gmail.com email me for advice please

Not saying / June 14th, 2010, 1:37 pm / #

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